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Waiting to be tested..

Posted , 6 users are following.

swan23
swan23

Hello, I went to my GP this morning after finding a lump just on the inside of my vagina. It isn't painful, but is a lumpy bump, between the size of a pea and a grape. I have been mildly itchy. I have never had a cold sore of any kind anywhere. I haven't been feeling ill, feverish or achey. Im tired but who isn't. I had unprotected sex 8 days ago. GP wasn't sure but mentioned herpes and suggested I get tested. Of course I have since googled and I cannot stop thinking about it, I feel like she is probably right and I am just devastated and have no idea how to deal with it. I have been through an awful year, coming out of an abusive relationship, becoming a single mum, struggling with money, family, friendships, you name it. I feel like the slightest thing can push me over the edge so this hasn't helped. I know I am likely overreacting but I just cannot get my head around how I will have to live life if I do have this. Having to tell future sexual partners about this, right now I feel like I'd be resigned to a life of no sex as I cannot picture doing that. I'm worrying that I could have passed it/will pass it to my little boy. I am going to get tested tomorrow evening after work but in the meantime I cant stop thinking about it, or crying. Tonight and and tomorrow are going to be torture, plus the actual wait for confirmation. What can I do to prepare? To make myself feel better? sad

 

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Topp
    Topp swan23

    Posted

    I felt like I couldn't kiss my son or even touch him for fear of passing it to him. However it is passed through the genitals/skin to skin and they say the chances of passing it through clothes, towels, blankets, etc are very very low. I even went as far as separating our laundry and using my own designated towels. I doubt I have to do that too but I do anyway.

    It is terrifying. I haven't been officially diagnosed yet but I've had ALL the other symptoms besides an actual OB. So they won't blood test me for a few months unless I have an actual OB they can swab so I'm in limbo too. It does suck. I think about it every day. In the mean time I feel like a walking virus. I'm still dealing w it too daily. It's like I don't have any time to even be depressed about it as I work and go to school full time and my son is 9 and I'm a runner. This has definitely stopped me in my tracks but I do realize life will go on. There are lots of stories on here about finding love again so I'm going to remain hopeful for that.

    I'm struggling every single day as well. I know this probably doesn't help but those are my thouggts. Msg me if you want or need.

  • Miss_Take
    Miss_Take swan23

    Posted

    This is alwasys a hard pill to swallow but just get it over with. Remember, there is always something to be grateful for, live, love and family. Your life is worth living regardless of the diagnosis, and living to the best. It's a mind game, some days you're good, other days you're not but no one has to know that but you. It just like when you menstrate .... no one knows whats going on with your body but the fact is that we may sometimes experience some pain or cramping. Also know that the first outbreak is usually they worst it throws at you and it eases up from there. Pray purposefully and focus on what's important in your life, holding on to that always. It also helps to keep yourself busy, do research in preparation, link up with interest groups and forums like this one, possibly someone has had a similar experience and or symptoms and you will both be helping each other on the road to recovery.

    You will also see there is hope and success stories of persons with living with this virus even having a family and children. Try to keep yourself busy and active and remember, regardless of your diagnosis ... life goes on and you have a contribution to make for your son's sake at least.

    Be Well!

  • susan58797
    susan58797 swan23

    Posted

    Girl...you sound like me. Is it just a bump or a sore too? Sounds like a Bartholins cyst to me. It's not bad, they just hurt if it gets irritated. Google it. It might put your mind at ease. Until you know for sure, know that it does get better. I'm just now com ok ng down off of the shock and fear. Educating yourself as much as possible helps too.
    • swan23
      swan23 susan58797

      Posted

      Its not a sore as far as I can see or feel. I did think Bartholins cyst as it does seem to be in the right place for that but its not smooth, its lumpy. I'll try and upload a pic that isn't too graphic. Thank you. 
  • Miss_Take
    Miss_Take swan23

    Posted

    Not to scare you but it can also be an HPV infection .. you might want to research that as well just to prepare yourself for any possibilities.
  • swan23
    swan23

    Posted

    Here is a pic, sorry it isn't the best but its really hard to get a picture of! 
    • Guest
      Guest swan23

      Posted

      I too felt slight itchiness down there and when i looked i had only one sore on the left side right inside my vagina. Sounds like same spot. I went in got it PCR swabbed (get PCR swab! Not viral culture!) Came back negative. At 8 weeks got the nonspecific igG and igM blood test both came back negative and will do more type specific igG tests im hoping at 10 weeks 12 weeks 16 weeks and 6 months. My NP at clinic thought maybe cyst but time will tell with tests. So dont give up hope but also prepare yourself for the worst. The first two weeks i cried and was so sad and scared and thinking of my life and how it will change. But it does get better! I have attempted at a relationship but this experience has changed my life. It has made me realize that i want to actually find someone i want to be with for a while and by finding that right person and taking time im hoping theyll accept me if i do have hsv2. So dont give up hope i think its just gonna change how we date a little bit and there are a ton of people out there that will be understanding!
  • Miss_Take
    Miss_Take swan23

    Posted

    Another disadvantage with women is that we are unaware of infections in our vaginal tract until they reveal themselves. Wait until the test comes back for sure because even your doctor could not do a diagnosis from the physical examination.
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