Waking up sad in peri?

Hi Debbie, I am sorry that your mornings are rough and you are not alone in this... I would not wish it on anyone!  I tend to wake up at 4 or 5 a.m. and the doom is there right away, almost like it wakes me up, and it stays bad until I get up, usually until 6:30 or so.  You mentioned dizziness and I do sometimes have a bit of vertigo at bedtime or after waking up and it seems to come out of nowhere.  

Do you sleep much?  I tend to get maybe 5 hours on a good night.

Debbie, wow, I thought it was just me, I never mentioned it here because I thought people would think that I have mental problems in addition to the swimming pool of physical ailments. Honestly, a few months ago I felt like going to the mental hospital. I wake up feeling very, very depressed and its everything, the news, my body, my weight, my marriage, worry about is something really seriously wrong with me, knee pain.  As I am writing this now, I am about to cry, its horrible. 

Debbie, wow, I feel like we are sharing the same body, I totally agree with you that perimenopause is BRUTAL, I feel so bitter and angry that I was hoodwinked, why were we not told how this would be so at least we could have been prepared, Its like a gigantic secret. 

Hi Lennie, right there with you, it is painful in so many ways... I dread going to bed at night knowing that I'll wake up feeling so depressed... it scares the life out of me.  I woke today feeling terrified and ended up crying and had a meltdown mid-day because I could not shake it off and was in panic.  Horrible.  It's weird how all those things flood the mind so drastically every single morning and I feel like I'm going to die.  Like you, I cry sometimes just thinking about it.  Glad to know we can help each other by talking about it.

Snowbell, I wish I knew, because it is beyond horrible, As I said, I never addressed it here, but I agree it does seem to get better as the day goes but the mornings are horrific, 

Im so glad to hear that yours gets better as the day goes on as well. It seems to be a pattern with this change in life and helps to know you aren't the only one having odd symptoms. 

Hi Snowbell and Lennie, good question... what on earth is it?  I am very much like you both.  Usually, I feel gradually better throughout the day, and by evening, I almost feel like myself (almost).  I dread going to bed at night because I know I'll awaken in a complete state of fear and depression, and I often cry, too, and feel panicked.  What the heck is happening to us overnight???  

Its some sort of depression/panic/anxiety issue, 

Lennie, I agree.  Woke up again this morning terrified that I'll go to this doctor tomorrow and she'll tell me that I have cancer and am going to die.  Since finding out about the ovarian cyst, I am out of my mind with worry.  I've struggled with anxiety pretty much my whole life, I even remember when it began when I was a child.  No matter how much other people reassure me, it's like I just can't get a grip on it.  I know I'm going to have to get help.  I appreciate your reply, again you are right!

Oh my goodness Elizabeth, I am dealing with an ovarian cyst right now. I have another scan on the 17th to determine if it may be cancerous and possible surgery to remove. I am a nervous wreck! My MRI scan came back as inconclusive for malignancy. I cried like a baby after the news. This didn't help my anxiety that is already here from the peri. The first doctor wanted to schedule a hysterectomy ASAP, so I got a second opinion and my new doc told me, he didn't feel it was cancer and let's rescan it on the 17th. Ugh! I am a ball of nerves. I will keep you in my prayers that all will be fine with yours. Hugs

Oh, Elizabeth I am going to pray for you right now. many, many women have these and they are NOT cancerous.  What has your doctor said?

Elizabeth..............Hi, i had an ovarian cyst but, it went on its own 3 years down the line,  I also had a breast cyst which, was drained,  had no return since, and that was 2 years ago.   i also have 3 womb fibroids which, are benign tumours, but one became necrotic which, i still have but its settled now, some tumours calcify which, can change, i also have a calcification in my right breast which are crystals that form and come together to form a mass, you can opt for masectomy, but drs say, because they cannot be sure of change, they scan instead initially first for 5 years, to keep an eye for changes, dont want to give masectomies for calcifications due to upheaval and stress for something that might not happen, so they scan, so far i have had 3 scans in 3 years no change so far, after a 5th year of scan with no change, they then take a biopsy of the mass, to double check for change, and to be sure if it is ever going to change, and the only way to know this is to remove some and put it under a microscope, but first they prefer to scan,   If cysts can have a biopsy done to them, you could always ask your specialists for this to be sure, but  they  prefer to keep scanning first, during which,  they will NOT be able to give you a definate yes, or, no whether it will change because they just dont know, they dont like giving hysterectomies due to it being major surgery, emotional stress and upheaval later on for us unless absolutely necessary, age comes into it as well, but, if they thought you were at risk without a doubt they would suggest doing one to keep you safe, cysts CAN go on their own, but some dont so they may suggest keeping  an eye on it for you.  Drs like to hear women on the menopause where fibroids are concerned, because once period stops so does oestrogen which, is their food, so for the majority of women this is when they shrink, which is what the drs wait for, dont know if its the same for cysts however, good luck with it liz

Elaine, hearing that yours went away gives me hope and consoled me. Thank you for sharing. I'm hoping for good news on my upcoming scan

Hi Snowbell, Lennie and Elaine, thank you for your messages.  I saw a GP in January for what seemed like possible UTI symptoms, namely frequent urination.  Three visits later, I was referred to a urologist, and he ordered a CT scan that revealed the mass.  I saw a gyn doctor as well and she ordered vaginal and pelvic ultrasounds that I had last Monday.  She sat with me in her office and talked about all possibilities, cancerous and non-cancerous, and we talked about the fact that all lab testing has been normal so far... one hormone showed that it was on the "high" end of normal, but nothing else has turned up.  The mass is within the right ovary and the CT scan did not show any other abnormalities.  The ultrasounds revealed two small fibroids and a small polyp in the uterus and she said these are most likely benign.  She ordered more lab work because she wants to try to find out which hormone is involved with the mass.  Even though so many people have told me that the odds of cancer are low, I am just so scared.  My family has been through a lot this year - my sister has been through a very bad divorce, she and my nephews are all in counseling, my dad ended up in counseling, my mom is 4 months into a 14-month recovery from a total knee replacement, my grandmother just moved into a nursing home, and a dear friend died of pancreatic cancer in October... I feel like falling apart sometimes but keep holding it together somehow, the timing of this is just too much.  Praying SOOOO hard that it will be benign and they'll remove the ovary as she is recommending and all will be okay.  Thank you for telling me about your experiences.  Elaine, I agree with Snowbell, hearing that yours went away gives me hope, too, this is a scary time and I am grateful for the support you all have offered.  This forum is helping me a lot.  

Thats a nice thankyou letter liz...........thats all we can do isnt it, share and support, and sometimes the support alone means so much, just someone else out there going through the same thing, because gps are hopeless. Sorry to hear how much you have gone through and are still going through,and that will make a difference to you when having a peri flare up.  Know what yo mean about the high end of the hormones, my sister developed breast cancer due to high hormone receptor cells in the breast, and its good in that case that it is being removed, its the safest option, fingers crossed for you when they have tested it all once its out, but im sure from what they are telling you, there is a good chance of it being ok,  but totally understand you being very worried until then, its a very stressful time for you, let us know how you get on take care x.

Snowbell, I'm sorry you're going through this, too.  I asked about a hysterectomy and was told it is probably not necessary, that removing the ovary is the step to take.  The doctor said the mass is "interesting" and also mentioned that she'd had to do the same tests recently with two other patients but then told me theirs were normal, that I'm the unlucky one, which felt horrible to hear.  As with you, this on top of the anxiety I had already is too much.  I'll be praying for you, too.  

What you have to weigh up is, if it isnt necessary to remove the womb initially, leave it, take out the problem, unless then tests comes back, saying the opposite, then they will take it out because staying safe has to be yours and the drs first port of call, even if it means another more major op, if its gotta to be done!  on the otherhand if, you were to have one done regardless,  it then makes it very difficult to judge when menopause starts, and when it ends, because, you would have no bleeding anymore, which is what guides us through our phases and thats how we know all this is coming to an end, and in your case liz, if they take one ovary and leave you with one, would that make that even harder, i dont know! so they will only do hysterectomy if absolutely necessary, you will find that some of the ladies on this forum are struggling due to hysterectomies that, they needed to have done, and that isnt up for question, but now they cant work out what phase their in, i mean where is the understanding for them with gps, there isnt any, so, what you, and your dr is doing is right, take one step at time to be sure.   If, your dr was overly concerned over this mass, they would have already booked you in for an op immediately to have the lump removed, and i mean within 2/4 weeks of knowing it was their. 

My sister developed breast cancer during menopause, it turned out it was oestrogen receptor hormone that was causing hers, its either that, or progesterone, and its the same for the womb, as a result of my sister developing cancer, none of us were understandably allowed HRT.   She had the lump removed first, and it was done within 2 weeks, of her first visit to the surgeon, which was 2 weeks after finding the lump, then she had to have another op  because, they hadnt removed enough cells to satisfy national guidlines in keeping a patient safe, although the lump had been removed,  then after more tests, she had to have masectomy, and she had reconstruction done at same time, but she knew this was more than likely going to be the outcome before the second op, and all that was done in 5 weeks from start to finish, she was in shock 3 months, so hold on to that, hard i know................but so far, it is a good positive sign that she is saying it is not necessary to remove womb, got everything crossed for you good luck liz!!

Elizabeth, thank you so much. Just know we are going thru this together, and you won't be alone. Reach out if you need support, we are all here for one another. Hugs

I got an unexpected call from the gyn's office this afternoon.  The nurse called to say that the additional lab work ordered last week all came back normal, so I am at a "low risk" for cancer.  That is a relief, although I know we have not seen the end of this yet as she did say last week that the ovary needs to come out, but I am fine with that... at this point, I can't wait to get it out!  I appreciate everyone's support and will keep you posted, this forum is a huge help.

That is good news. I will be praying for you. ((Hugs))

Yay! I have to take some lab work on Wednesday, I am hoping I have good results like yours. Keep us posted on any upcoming surgery. Im sure I will be scheduled for surgery soon if this cyst still looks funny. 

Thanks, Jamie... sending hugs your way.

Snowbell, I'm here for you and pray that you'll have good results.  My gyn said last week that we'd talk about the surgery at this consultation, so tomorrow I'll know which route we're taking... it feels weird to be glad about having surgery, but soooo ready to get this thing out.  Keep us posted on your evaluations.

Thank you Elizabeth! 

GREAT NEWS, I prayed for you this morning on my way to work,. Keep me in your prayers too, I am having my mamogram next month and going to see what they can do about the cysts or whatever it is in my shoulder area.  No fear only love and faith

Thank you, Lennie, I will pray for you and hoping you will have good results and the best of care.

fantastic news liz..........keep us updated pleasewith your op etc good luck with it.