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Want to be happy. Woke up suicidal.

Posted , 7 users are following.

dan66442
dan66442

How do you feel happy. I want to die. Nothing seems to make me happy.

I wish I would just die, on Welbutrin whicb make me feel more anxious, asked for something tom take the edge off and the physcarist called 911. I walked out before they got there and went and got some Xanax off the black market, that has taken the edge off and made me able to sleep thru the night.

If I had the balls to throw myself in front of a subway I would do it now.

Do not want to be hospitalized, been there before and it does little if anything. I really want to die.

1 like, 20 replies

20 Replies

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  • lillie46665
    lillie46665 dan66442

    Posted

    Dan I sympathise with you Ive had depression for decades.

    Im not gonna preach coz I know your feeling bad but come on buying drugs on the black market Its silly god knows what your putting in your body.

    Ive been psych hospitals many times some voluntary some sectioned I know they are not nice places to be but to be honest if I was a doc I would have sectioned you if your taking like this.

    You have to help yourself you have to let people help you.

    There is no magic pills for depression you have to work at it.

    Lastly I think suicide is very selfish think of your poor family

    I hope you get the help you need

    Take Care

    Lil

  • jo57386
    jo57386 dan66442

    Posted

    Hi Dan I know how you feel I felt exactly like that today. Why is your doc not willing to help that's terrible. Suicide is selfish but so are the people who want you to live your life feeling like you do. Take care xx
  • steven43881
    steven43881 dan66442

    Posted

    Dan,

       I know where you are. I'm there myself, but you just keep going on. Having a network of people to talk with helps a little bit. Tying to keep your mind occupied is what I do. Stay on here if you must. We all care about you, ok.  

    • dan66442
      dan66442 steven43881

      Posted

      Thanks. Wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again.
    • lillie46665
      lillie46665 dan66442

      Posted

      Dan if this is how you feel why did you not accept the pychs help?

      Lil

    • steven43881
      steven43881 dan66442

      Posted

      I know how you feel, Dan, but you have to decide what is important to you !!
    • lillie46665
      lillie46665 dan66442

      Posted

      Dan you obviously need help and if you don't accept help you are going to get worse.

      There is no point moaning about things if the chance is there to get sorted and you are ignoring it.

      I don't mean to be cruel

      I wish you all the best

      Lil

    • dan66442
      dan66442 lillie46665

      Posted

      As it happens I spoke to the client director and then saw my therapist the next day, my Therapist said she will see twice a week Both said he was young and overreacted. So I hear you but I'm in treatment, just not locked up treatment
    • lillie46665
      lillie46665 dan66442

      Posted

      Then I hope you are telling your therapist you are suicidal and buying drugs on the black market

      Lil

    • dan66442
      dan66442 lillie46665

      Posted

      My therapist knows about my suicidal thoughts and I'm very aware of the difference bwt thoughts and actions. I am seeing her in two hours and will tell her about the self medication.
    • lillie46665
      lillie46665 dan66442

      Posted

      Good you should see light at the end of the tunnel soon

      Take Care

      Lil

    • SJensen
      SJensen dan66442

      Posted

      Dan I know this feeling ... There are people who love you ...
  • angela43016
    angela43016 dan66442

    Posted

    It's  dreadful the way you feel but do you know what would make you feel happy?
    • dan66442
      dan66442 angela43016

      Posted

      Yes a decent paying job. I'm considering starting a dog walking company. Its easy to set up and if its successful, you can make a lot of money. In NY people will pay $20 for a 15 minute walk. You get 20 clients and you should be doing alright.
    • dan66442
      dan66442

      Posted

      Plus I like dogs. Thinking I should get a dog handling license though
    • Digsby
      Digsby dan66442

      Posted

      Sounds like a brilliant idea Dan - dogs are much better to work with than people ;-) Good luck!
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