Want to be happy. Woke up suicidal.

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How do you feel happy. I want to die. Nothing seems to make me happy.

I wish I would just die, on Welbutrin whicb make me feel more anxious, asked for something tom take the edge off and the physcarist called 911. I walked out before they got there and went and got some Xanax off the black market, that has taken the edge off and made me able to sleep thru the night.

If I had the balls to throw myself in front of a subway I would do it now.

Do not want to be hospitalized, been there before and it does little if anything. I really want to die.

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