Want to know if this is sexual assult

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I want to know if this is concidered sexual assult. When I was 14 i had a boyfriend and he wanted to try some sexual stuff (fingering, handjobs, etc) and i said i wasnt ready and i didnt want to, he then replied that we could do that stuff once and if i didn't like it or want to continue i just had to say and we wouldnt anymore. So after doing that stuff once i said i didnt want to he said okay fine but next time we hung out he ended up trying to touch me, i said no but thoughout the day he kept doing it. Eventually i let him because i was sick of it and i thought i would get it over with. After that it kept happening every time we hung out. I said to him that i didnt want to and he told me he'd cheat on me or leave me if i didnt do that stuff. This continued on for almost a year. He was also seemingly obsessed with me and wouldn't leave me alone for a couple weeks after i broke up with him.

Im 18 now but the reason I'm asking if this is concidered sexual assult is because I saw him the other day and I got really upset and freaked out. I know that seems kinda weird but when i saw him all the memories of eveything came back to me and upset me. I dont want to press charges or anything, i just want to know.

Thanks, Ally

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  • Posted

    Hi Ally,

    you need to pass on, everybody in life would have passed similar kind.

    to answer your question its 50/50, if you wanted to.. yes you can consider this as assault as you are kind of forced. But i move on...

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  • Posted

    Hi Ally, yes it is absolutely assault. You clearly said no and repeatedly so and then he emotionally abused you by threatening to

    Cheat. I'm not saying it to be cruel and it doesn't happen to everyone. It's not okay and you deserve to be able to talk about it. I would suggest maybe having a chat with an advice line etc someone who could point you in the right direction of someone to talk to about your emotions. Then you can begin to move on. I'm so sorry to hear this has happened. It has happened to me too twice only the second time I was a lot older and I was asleep after I had said no. I see a counsellor now who helps me to deal with how it has made me feel with trusting people etc.

    I hope you can get it sorted. PS I outed the boyfriend who did it to me, it made me feel a bit better. 

    Lots of love

    Jo x

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  • Posted

    After you say no nonverballyor verballly and he proceeded than yes it is completely sexual assult. Always! I am very sorry that happened. I know what it is like.

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