wanting to help

Posted , 3 users are following.

my girlfriend is suffering from depression. i want to help her and be there for her as she means the world to me. i really need advice on how to help her over come it. like what are do's and don'ts, what i can do to understand and get her through this. all advice i very much welcome and appreciate.

thanks craig

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Just being there is amazing, I wish I had someone close.  Listening is important, get her to open up and don't judge as with drepression you can say things which you may not like, its the depression talking. Hold her and tell her you love her, that would help so much, also give her space to. If and when she needs you she will ask. You are great sticking by her, just hold her and tell her that you love her and you are there for her and that you will not judge her. I Hope this helps, 
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  • Posted

    believe it or not im doing all that i think but getting her to open up is not so easy. she tell me i dont understand but i really want to. i never will push her into anything but just getting her to open up would be so helpful to me. i love her to bits and want her to be back to happiness.

    thank you also for the reply it means a great deal to me every little helps as they say

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    • Posted

      Tell her you want to understand, and tell her that what ever she says you will not judge her. I found it hard to tell what is going on in mind, as I think I sound stupid and scared that people would run from me if they knew what was going on in my mind. it is very hard to open, all of the time you have so much going around your head, you find it hard to make sense of it. Give her time, it's not something that will be better over night, I still trying to be happy, but i'm far from that. Just keep going, you sound like you are doing all you can. Has she seen a doctor? If not try to get her to see one. Once again antidepressants do not work over night, but can help. I'm sorry I can't be anymore help, 
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    • Posted

      she has only just come off meds at end of last year it was a choice she made and i backed her 100% but she has been up and down since now even more so this is why im trying to get as much advice as possible to guide her through it. the more i know the stronger i can be for her.

      im hoping me being on here will help me.

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  • Posted

    Hi Craig

    It's good of you to come on here to do your homework. Unless you've had depression it's very difficult to understand the feeling it gives you.

    For me personally, I freaked out when people used words like kill, death, suicide and so forth. These were all words that came off the TV so I decided to watch less taxing shows. Whilst I was low (only last week) I would watch Disney films with my wife which made me feel a little better.

    Just having someone with you helps wonders and reassuring them that you love them helps.

    Is she on any meds?

    Thanks

    Tom

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  • Posted

    she was on meds before i me her then slowly took herself off them at end of last year she has been up and down since but a moment things are really getting low iv been reading up and yes meds do work but was hoping not to as would not want her to be realiant on them.

    also i love disney films it will give me an excuse to watch them

    thank you for your input

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    • Posted

      Can't beat a bit of disney lol.

      I'll put it another way....

      If you had diabetes, you would take insulin

      If you have a cold , you would take paracetamol and beechams

      If you had Cancer.... You get the picture

      Do not fear meds as they are genuinely needed in many circumstances and help most people when they need it most.

      I am 28, make high six figures a year, support a family and am very successful in my field..... I am on meds

      Hopefully this makes things a little clearer and gives you some hope.

      Encourage her to open up too. Talking is great and makes me feel much better. I often tell my wife how I'm feeling! Not like, oh I'm a bit hungry or need the toilet but, I feel a little low or demotivated today. I'll tell her when I've just had a little anxiety spike and usually she'll tell me to shut up and get on with it smile she doesn't really, she usually gives me a hug and a quick rub on my neck. It's the little things!

      I do suggest you persuade her to go to her GP and go with her.

      If you want to ask anything, feel free

      Cheers

      Tom

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    • Posted

      thanks tom

      i will. i also thinks she is a little scared or worrying about going back on the meds i know how strong she can be in herself but only want the best for her so i can surgest this to her and take it from there she knows i will surport her in any choice she makes i just want her to know i will be there for her every step of the way

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  • Posted

    No worries mate

    She will be worried about going back in meds due to her current mindset. Whilst depressed your mind only projects negative thoughts and it's nearly impossible to get away from. It's simply a chemical imbalance in the brain which is 99% of the time treatable.

    If you can manage to persuade her to go, she will thank you in the long run! I know someone who is suffering from depression at the moment and they flat out refuse to seek any form of. help. They are just getting worse as time goes on. They have had a horrific time recently though.

    Personally I'd go back on the meds! Beats being down all the time!

    Let us know how it goes

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