Week 11/12 - argh!!

I am on week 4 and i have hit a brick wall and started to self harm again, i dont know why just seems im getting worse, i hoped it would get better on this med...

Hi Maharg & Hi-Me,

If you are self harming then both of you need to go back and see your doctors. Maybe they can change your medication or give you something to take alongside Fluoxetine.

Good luck

Melbi xx

Hi-me and Maharg

God you two, it's awful the way you are both feeling. Like Melbi says, pls pls pls go and see your Drs. Come on you have to help yourselves. Pls listen to Melbi

Hi-me, Im about the same time as you I think, and yes I've been feeling up and down. Have had a very dodgy stomach for around 3 weeks. I know that panicky feeling too.

Do you think these are side effects of the pills maybe? I have been dreaming too. But generally, despite all this I feel better and stronger DEFINITELY than I did before I started these. We'll just have to ride the storm I think - but you both do need to go and chat to your Drs, and be honest, pls. I want you both to get better so much. I hate you feeling so bad.

Let us know if you go xxx

Hi,

thanks for your replies everyone. I know that I need to tell my Dr, but that the hard part, only my counsellor knows (even my husband doesnt) I seem to have wrapped myself in my own little world, and im able to hide it becasue of this. Im onto day 4 of not doing it, so I'm happy at myself for that.

I never really understood self harm (even tho for the past 10 years since was 16 I've been doing it in a diiferent way on & off - starving & making self sick) but about 4 months ago I started cutting, I just cant get my head around it & why I even do it.

I will try get my courage up to tell my dr, I need to as im so scared as to what will happen otherwise.

Thankyou Melbi & Suzisue, for pointing out the obvious to me but what I was trying to ignore.

Maharg, it took me about 9-10 weeks before I started to feel that bit better, stick it out. I think the others are right tho & we need to go to our docs & try get more help.

thanks xxx

Hi-me

I know it must be hard. I felt so bad before I went on theses oills, I really couldnt face living anymore. The only thing left to do was go and see my Dr.

I know it's not the same as self harming - but I swear, I know I wouldnt be here now if I hadnt gone and talked to my Dr.

I know it must be so hard for you babe

If I lived near you I would come with you.

Im really proud of you for not doing it for 4 days - just keep posting on here. I'll help all I can.xxxxx

There is no way im going to the doctors about this, i feel too ashamed.

The crazy thing abot this is that i feel so much better afterwards, i know i should go but i just cant...

Maharg and Hi-me, I can relate to your experiences as well - self-harm is not something I had ever done in my life but over the last couple of weeks I have, and the scary bit is how much better it makes me feel. Managed to tell my counsellor today (and now you guys!) but it makes me feel incredibly ashamed and stressed to think of telling anyone else. I'm on week 5 of fluoxetine and feel generally low still, as well as slightly spaced out or very jittery - basically still not seeing any improvement. I did get another prescription last week and told my GP I didn't feel any better (when in fact I feel worse) and he said he would look at changing the meds in a month if there was no improvement. I just don't know any more if it's me, the depression or the meds making me feel like this. It's pretty c**p, really isn't it?

Gretchel, i can totally relate to what ur saying it is like me u r describing im am starting week 5 and feel worse than ever, my self harm is not out of control but when i feel it is gong that way i will seek help.

I dont know if i should see about stronger meds or bare with it ?

Week 2 i felt great but it has went down hill since then.

I have never self harmed for a few years and dont know why im doing it again...

Yes, I don't really know what to do either. I don't know how old you are but I feel I am far too old to be doing such a teenage thing (although I know it doesn't really work like that). It feels like the only way of coping at times. I am not hurting myself badly but it is more the fact that I am doing it at all that is scary. At some points I feel ok and can see the light at the end of the tunnel; other times (quite often) everything just seems pretty bleak and I can't see any way out. I think I am struggling because I can't see any particular reason for my depression, so it's difficult to accept as an illness rather than personal weakness. Not easy. I think I will have to write things down to give to my GP the next time I see him as I just can't imagine voicing any of this, but can just about accept I won't get any better till I get the help I need.

Keep in touch.

:cuddle:

Hi Guys

I'm responsible for moderating all the medicine postings and it does concern me that you are not letting your GPs know about the self-harming. By letting your GPs know you will at least be alerting them to the fact that the self-harming [i:cdb49f0b2f]may[/i:cdb49f0b2f] be a side-effect to the medication you are on - and hopefully you will get help too.

Also if you feel that a symptom is due to a side effect of a medicine that you have taken then you may wish to report it to the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) via their yellow card scheme - http://www.mhra.gov.uk/Safetyinformation/Reportingsafetyproblems/Medicines/index.htm

The more people who let them know about drug side-effects the more likely it is to be taken seriously.

Hilary

Patient Admin Team

Hi again

If anyone really wants to beat this illness - and I mean REALLY wants to beat it then we have to be completely and totally honest with our doctors and other medical professionals involved in our lives.

Doctors can only help if we can tell them what we feel or what we are doing to help us cope. Unfortunalely they aren't mind readers.

Self harming is quite common amongst mental illness and you can bet on your life all GP's will have heard patients tell them what they do to themselves in way of self harm.

[b:0c7650fef1]For goodness sake, get yourselves off to the doctors and tell them what you are doing - unless of course you enjoy doing it so much and don't want help in stopping it.[/b:0c7650fef1]

You really are going to have to start being open with your doctors and tell them everything if you want to get better. Doctors can't help if they don't know.

End of rant

Good luck to the both of you

Melbi xx

Mahrag & gretchel,

I know exactly what you mean about it making you feel better (when I do it, its like Ive had a shot of something & my whole body rlaxes) & being ashamed. I am so ashamed of it, it took me a few weeks to tell my counsellor & she asks me now & then if I want to show her, as showing it to someone may make it that bit more real, bit i still havent showed her - part of me wants to but im so disgusted in myself. Im 26 years old and evrywhere i read about it, it goes on as tho its just tennagers who do it for attention (it hurts to read stuff like that).

Melbi & Hilary are right tho, I so dont want to tell my doc as im emabarassed and feel stupid, but i know that i need to.

What happens when it stops making us feel better, what will we move onto then? Something more dangerous to just get that feeling of relief which only lasts for a bit anyway. i only started scrathing with sharp bits of plastic, then onto paperclips, now I've cut with a knife, & they go deeper each time (that scares me like I cant even explain)

I'm saying this now, when it comes time to go to my doc, I know I'll feel different & il be terrified but right now I'm determined to do it.

Feel like Ive lectured a bit, but Im so scared and i dont want you guys to be going thru these feelings either, it really is hell. Just think about it, please. I'll keep you posted to as what I do & we can all maybe encourage each other along the way. xxx

Hi Hi-Me

I understand fully about the difficulty in coming straight out with it to your doctor.

Why not write in down on a piece of paper and just pass it to him/her.

All it has to say is:

[size=18:1444a8180d][color=red:1444a8180d][b:1444a8180d]I'm self harming and it scares me[/b:1444a8180d][/color:1444a8180d][/size:1444a8180d]

God for it hun - you will be so glad that you did.

Melbi xx

Thanks to everyone who replied. You have given good and caring advice, and I will do my best to tell my GP asap. It does help to be able to talk about things on here, however, so I am glad that this is still an option and these posts have not been removed. It is the first step towards getting the help I need - if I can tell people anonymously without being judged, then I should be able to voice it elsewhere.

That's great news Gretchel, we're all thinking about you here