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Week 6 - looking for some hope!

Posted , 6 users are following.

rachael16649
rachael16649

Hi folks

I'm on week 6 of citalopram and I'm quite nervous as I am still really struggling with the heightened anxiety and depression. I am at work still after having been off for four days when it was really bad. I still feel terrified all the time and every task feels so difficult and anxiety enducing. I really hope this gets better as currently I feel like I won't be able to cope again and that's terrifying me. I am in a high pressured job and have fewer responsibilities right now to help me recover but it's not getting easier. I'm panicking that I just won't be able to cope in this sort of job in the future.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and any feedback from anyone else who has turned a corner and starting to feel better.

Thank you

0 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • marsh23433
    marsh23433 rachael16649

    Posted

    hi rachel,you are doing good and any side effects will go within the next 4/6 weeks
    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 marsh23433

      Posted

      Thank you. When you say side effects, which do you mean? I'm most worried about feeling this anxious forever and this low. I just don't know what to do about it but am trying everything I can to sort I. E. Good diet, exercise, sleep (although that is rarely good), psychotherapy, talking to loved ones. I feel at a loss at what else to do and so scared it won't get better

    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 marsh23433

      Posted

      Thank you. When you say side effects, which do you mean? I'm most worried about feeling this anxious forever and this low. I just don't know what to do about it but am trying everything I can to sort I. E. Good diet, exercise, sleep (although that is rarely good), psychotherapy, talking to loved ones. I feel at a loss at what else to do and so scared it won't get better

  • jane23546
    jane23546 rachael16649

    Posted

    Hi Rachel

    Sorry to hear you're going through this I am at week 5 tomorrow and although have my appetite back I am still very anxious and not 100%. I am back at work and some days do struggle to deal with simplest things bit try and focus on some good things and do some breathing exercises which help. Stick with it and some good advice take your pills in the evening I swapped after week 2 which really helped xx

    • Guest
      Guest jane23546

      Posted

      Hi you say you changed taking your cit to evening,I have thought about doing this and wondered how you benefit from this thankyou
    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 jane23546

      Posted

      Thank you Jane. Have you been on them before and did you need any time off? I have found my brain is just not working as it did before and that is causing me so much angst as can't think straight at work

  • marsh23433
    marsh23433 rachael16649

    Posted

    hi rachel,the side effects i am talking about are the effects that you get for the 1st 8/10 weeks whilst the medication starts to  work within your body and brains.You see that the ssri has  to build up  within your system and that is likely to take 8/10 weeks 
  • marsh23433
    marsh23433 rachael16649

    Posted

    rachel,this medication will help you once it builds up within your system.Give it time
    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 marsh23433

      Posted

      Thank you. It is so difficult. I don't think I can continue at work like this at the moment. It's impossible

  • Paula2019
    Paula2019 rachael16649

    Posted

    Hello Rachael, it can take time to feel better and unfortunately I have read a lot that it can increase anxiety whilst adjusting to it.  Please know that this is completely normal and as tough as it is try and go with it, being anxious with feeling anxious will make you feel a lot worse.  What has helped me in the past is to try and focus on each moment rather than the whole day in front of me, literally take one step at a time, I still use that method when I am not well as like you I also have a very pressurised job, which certainly doesn't help, and I make a point of trying to mentally remove myself from the stress and just keep going basically.  How many mg are you taking? 

    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 Paula2019

      Posted

      Thank you Paula. I'm on 30mg. I'm wondering whether to take more time off work because I'm struggling so badly

  • ruth08109
    ruth08109 rachael16649

    Posted

    You will feel better in time. Its a waiting game. Try not to predict the future from your anxious state, easier said than done, but it's the meds that are giving you heightened anxiety and making you catastrophise.

    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 ruth08109

      Posted

      Thank you Ruth. At the moment I can't see the wood for the trees. I feel so petrified all the time. I do wonder if I should have had more than four days off

    • ruth08109
      ruth08109 rachael16649

      Posted

      Maybe, or maybe you even need to have less days at work. Maybe just a couple so that you are keeping in touch but not immersed.

      It's a tough choice because, if you do have more time off, you then have more time to feel anxious and worry.

      Four days isn't very long. I think at least a week or two might have helped.

      I restarted cit myself in June and took two weeks off. If you do take more time, try to have something to occupy yourself, a project around the home or something. It does really help to put your mind into something else, even if you really don't feel like it.

      You will feel better, unfortunately this is part of the course of these meds.

    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 ruth08109

      Posted

      Thank you Ruth. What you described is exactly the worry I have. More time to think and worry by taking time off. However, I am so conscious that I can't think straight at the moment as my brain is in such a fog and it's work that causes the anxiety in the first place. I've read that citalopram does make the brain foggy and at the moment that makes me panic as I can't seem to get my head to function properly when at work which makes the anxiety worse. My fears of not being good enough then ultimately feel true because I'm not as good at the moment. Nowhere near good enough. I'm lucky my company rates me and have told me repeatedly that they know how good I am and that I'm just ill but not being able to function normally at work makes me feel even more ill as it makes my anxiety effectively become true. Sorry not sure if this makes sense.

    • ruth08109
      ruth08109 rachael16649

      Posted

      Makes total sense to me and I know the brain fog feeling all too well.

      Honestly, all of this is part of your own anxiety being heightened by the citalopram. It will calm down. At the moment, just just try to accept that you are foggy and can't think straight. Your work sound supportive.

      Eventually you'll be able to think in a straight line again. At the moment, you're unwell, and it's totally natural to not be crystal clear in your head.

      Whenever I've restarted anti ds my memory goes completely to pot.

      Try not to panic about it.

      If you need to have a few more days whilst the anti deps settle in, then why not? It's hard to be in a stressful situation when your brain is trying to recover. If you took a few more days, maybe you have friends and /or family around you could visit?

    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 ruth08109

      Posted

      Thank you Ruth. Yes I've just been told I need to do that. They've suggested two weeks. They were worried I was going to get far far worse by trying to push on at work when I was so bad. It became like a vicious cycle - not being able to concentrate meaning I couldn't do so much and therefore ultimately proving to myself I was useless

    • ruth08109
      ruth08109 rachael16649

      Posted

      Sounds like a good idea to me. It's hard in a high pressured job, without having the added bonus of having to contend with start up effects of antidepressants.

      Glad you are having some extra time off, and also, is it still possible to phase you back in when you return?

    • rachael16649
      rachael16649 ruth08109

      Posted

      I'm hoping so. They tried this time but it didn't really work as the work was so busy. First day off today and feeling terrified but forced myself out of bed, showered and did house work. Each day and moment at a time

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