Posted , 21 users are following.
Really not happy with the progress on the fluoxetine, I'v been on 20mg now for 7 weeks and was hoping to be back to my normal self by now. I am also on 80mg propranolol. Is it too early days to change the dosage or meds really hoping for more improvement.
Thanks
2 likes, 482 replies
Lord_Cauldarse abi28
Posted
?I think I might be on week 8 now, Im actually losing track when I started! Given the OP was 8 days ago, im assuming we are roughly at the same timescale.
For the last week/ten days I have been feeling a lot better, indeed Ive almost convinced myself Ive at last turned the corner. There has been a couple of blips, but for the most part Im functioning well, back at work and slowly the side effects (and they were horrendous!) have been dissipating.
However, the last two days there has been a creeping anxiety - like a constant nervousness - that is following me about, like a sneaky wee panic attack sitting on my shoulder waiting to pounce. Its been there from the minute Ive woke up, and still there by the time I get home from work. Only by bed time its started to back off. Im moving house on Friday, so that will be the reason (I hope!), and praying that next week should see a big drop in the anxiety.
?Reading Katecogs comments are always a help and reassuring that even if it is still there, it is likely to be the side effects desperatly clinging on, and they will go away eventually.
?I think what im saying is I wouldnt change meds yet, you could be sooo close to breaking through. My good days are starting to outnumber the blips now, and from what Katecogs and others describe, this is classic signs of the meds starting to do their stuff.
Progress has been painfully slow, and I thought I would never get better. Ive been reading how some people have been 100% better after just a few weeks, and how others take months. One thing I havent read though is no-one who has come off the meds or suddenly changed dose have got better "quicker". Hang in there Abi.
abi28 Lord_Cauldarse
Posted
It was week 8 yesterday for me and I had a ok day but I feel like I could really easily spiral back down once I start worrying.
Just wishing the days away and hoping soon all this will be over and I will be able to get in with life.
abi28
Posted
Hi please could someone advise me.
From my first post 11 or something days ago I feel like I have had moments in the day when I feel like my old self and can even laugh again which sounds stupid but is a massive thing because iv not laughed since around December.
Is this a good sign?
Does this mean the 20mg will be enough?
Really scared to increase it's been over 8 weeks now so hoping there will just be more and more improvements?
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yep, a good sign - that's exactly it. Having those 'glimpses' of your old self is how recovery starts. Those moments will grow over time, still mixed with blips / setbacks ....... but its starting. Can take a long time still, but let it happen.
Sounds like 20mg will be enough. If you've seen signs its starting then I'd stay on that dose.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thanks so much for your reply katecogs you do really give me hope.
I have a review with my gp in ten days so I'm hoping by then I will still be having moments when I feel like me and will get a definite yes or no from her wether to stay on the 20mg because last time I think she was keen for me to increase but I had already told her iv read it can take over 12 weeks.
Just hope that when I go back to the house it doesn't all resurface this really petrifies me but I don't want to live with my parents forever, I'm 26 now and feel like I shouldn't be living with them.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
The glimpses can come and go, so don't worry if they don't appear for a while again. I started with these and then found my evenings started being good which slowly crept more into my day ...... I still had awful mornings, but it would wear off. Then one day I woke up with no anxiety. I still had setbacks occasionally but they eventually petered out too. This took me 6 months.
Personally I'd stay on 20mg - its a fairly low dose, but if its starting to work then why not. You doctor will advise, but at the end of the day its up to you. If you've started seeing changes, then the meds are beginining to kick in. My theory is 'why take more meds than you need to'.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Is there anything you did along with the medication to help your anxiety?
thanks
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
I know, I felt like that too. If you try and accept that those glimpses will come and go for now, so when they do disappear for a while you won't feel so disappointed. That is the way recovery often happens.
When I was recovering I also learnt to relax - especially when the bad feelings came back. Fighting against them only produces tension and anxiety, which adds to the anxiety you already have. You need to step aside, let the bad feeling rage whilst yu go about your every day in a calm and relaxed manner. That helps the bad feelings pass quicker. That's accepting. Its not easy to carry on whilst you feel bad ...... but that's better than fighting it.
I also went out walking every day - fresh air, nature and exercise are excellent for burning off excess adrenaline and it raises your endorphins too.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
It's so hard isn't it to recover from this I want to do things that will help but sometimes I really just don't have the energy.
It's the sickness that gets me down the most I get that anxious and worry that much I end up being sick or constantly feeling sick.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes - its one of the hardest thing I've ever encountered. Once you know your way through though, it'll always be with you if you ever come across this again.
Though I found it hell on earth, coming through it and out the other side was amazing and its made me a stronger person plus I appreciate every little thing in life now.
When you fight this, it does zap your energy. Step aside, relax, let all those feelings and thoughts race about whilst you carry on in your day, and let your body take over and heal itself.
I'll message you xx
abi28 katecogs
Posted
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
abi28
Posted
Don't think the fluoxetine is helping with my anxiety not really sure. Been up my house with my mum which is where all the anxiety surfaced and I could feel it still there I know that if I hadn't gone up with my mum I would have been sick or felt even more sick then I did. I don't know how I can feel the same on meds up there then when I wasn't on any meds. I am feeling better at my parents but as soon as I go up the house it all resurfaces, really don't understand it
katecogs abi28
Posted
The website link you know about, have a read as it talks about how to face things and let the anxiety wash over you. Â Very difficult I know, but this will help to desensitise your body.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thank you I think I'm going to order the book too.
Can I also ask your opinion on something, I think it's a side effect not really sure but I have trouble sleeping which is getting me down. I wake up early every day around 4-5am today it was 2:30am. Is this a side effect and will it go?
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes that's a side effect of the meds - a lot of people suffer with it. It does ease off for most people - its worth mentioning to your doctor as he may be able to prescribe something to help you sleep?
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Will see what my gp say at my review next Tuesday. I feel like I don't know what's a side effect and what's anxiety/depression.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Mmmmm good point ...... can be both. The meds heighten symptoms plus give you others too.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I don't want to get out of bed this morning feel so tired and drained, I hope this early waking does eventually go it's been months and months now since I have woke up and felt refreshed.
When I go up the house I feel as bad as I did before is this a bad sign that I need to increase the fluoxetine. It has improved my mood but when I go up the house all the anxiety comes back as bad if not worse then I was before
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Sorry for the delay in reply ..... got waylaid doing things.
If you think about it, if you had the flu you'd feel quite drained and awful in the mornings and have fitful sleep, so suffering with this plus taking medication will also make your body respond in a similar way.
Other ways to help yourself get better sleep (forgive me if I've already said this), is to not use a computer, laptop, phone, ipad etc etc ... anything with a lit screen in the evenings, especially a few hours before going to bed. That will play havoc with your sleep as the light emitted disrupts your melatonin, the sleep hormone.
Have a window open to ventilate the room, try a lavender room spray or a stick diffuser, a bath before bed, milky drink (but no caffeine), a walk before bed too, yoga ....... there's lots of things that can help relax you before bed.
No I wouldn't think an increase would make you feel any better about the house - you're still in the early months / weeks of the meds, and as you recover more you'll be able to deal with that aspect better.
We can't stop stressors, but you'll deal with them better when the meds work fully.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
no worries Kate thanks for replying your comments always give me hope especially on days like today where iv had a banging headache all day and my neck and shoulders are sore from being tense and iv been worrying all day and having negative thoughts.
Did you say before you stuck it out on the 20mg on the fluoxetine and didn't increase, did your gp suggest you upping your dose? How long was your recovery?
Sorry about all the questions I find it helpful talking to people who have been able to recover and manage their illness.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
I was on Citalopram 20mg which is another type of SSRI. My son took Fluoxetine 40mg. They all give pretty much the same side effects etc. My GP never suggested I increased my dose - I just started on 20mg and stayed there. I didn't know I was going to recover so never thought about increasing. Max dose of Fluoxetine is 80mg and max Citalopram is 40mg.
It took me 6 months to recover ..... my son took 9 months. These were both completely different times for us, mine being when the children were small and my son recovered about 18 months ago.
I didn't know I was recovering either, didn't know anyone on these tablets and there was no help forum when I was recovering ..... in fact the internet had just about taken off then. It came as a complete surprise when I started getting better.
No problem at all asking questions - that's what this site's for
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Are you both off the medication now then or still taking it. Did your son start with the 40mg fluoxetine or did he start on a lower dose. Was it a gradual progress for you both.
I have moments when I feel myself but then it's like I make myself feel bad again by thinking things like am I really happy or telling myself I feel down.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Both off medication. I was off it some years back but restarted when my son became ill as it began to affect me seeing him suffer so much. He came off his about a year ago and I stopped 6 months ago.
My son started straight away on 40mg, but with hindsight it would have been easier if he'd started on a lower dose as he went through hell.
Yes it was a gradual process for both of us. I didn't know I was recovering but kept getting little periods of feeling 'normal' which would disappear, only to return again. Every morning was dreadful but that wasn't an indicationof how my day would turn out. I started being well every evening which slowly spread more into the day and finally I felt well mid mornings. Eventually I began waking up feeling well. During all this I still had blips / setbacks which floored me each time ..... but slowly those periods of feeling well came back.
Similar happened to my son. I saw the same pattern with him - up and down he was.
Yes having those moments when you feel like yourself is how it started with me, and yes, you strangely do go looking for the bad things. Your mind is working overtime still, and you will think negatively for a while yet. It will slowly change.
I never, ever thought I'd be free of this, especially being ill for around 15 - 16 years on and off. I had many dark years. I've since been well for around 16 years or so ... maybe longer? I came on this site for my son when he was ill, and ended up staying and chatting :D
abi28 katecogs
Posted
That's amazing then if you can both manage and control it without meds.
I find that the evenings are better and the mornings are really hard because I feel so horrible from waking up about 5am every morning .
Well I really appreciate you sticking around and helping others like me who are going through this most people just disappear once they feel better.
C
katecogs abi28
Posted
Understanding anxiety realy helped me. I read lots of books when I was ill and also found a great website which explains it. It can be controlled without meds if you understand about it. Not easy to start with. I also take 5-HTP which is a natural SSRI and bought over the counter.
That's how my recovery started - my evenings were also better and my mornings dreadful. That will improve as more time passes and the mornings will eventually get better too.
Glad to have helped xx
abi28 katecogs
Posted
That's is something that I need to do I need to read more about anxiety.
I have my review later today so will see what my gp says about my recovery so far.
Hopefully that happens for me too then I had a good day yesterday when I felt like my old self a lot more in the day, I just feel the anxiety still there whenever I remind myself about the house that still hasn't gone.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Things are really beginning to happen for you. This is how recovery starts. Symptoms don't all go at once, but instead they go bit by bit .... some lingering a bit longer than others .... but they will all ease eventually.
I had anxiety over some issues and eventually as I recovered more and more I began not to get anxious over them. Your body becomes calmer and that anxiety about the house will not longer be as strong, and you'll be able to deal with it better.
Remember it all takes time - you're on the right road, so continue as you are and you'll see as each month passes it'll get better and better.
It really does take months not weeks. xx
ria57147 katecogs
Posted
Hi!
Sorry to butt in on this coversation! I've been having a conversation with Abi about Prozac and have read this whole thread and you seem so knowledgeable and helpful..
I'm on my 6th week of Prozac and I am SO up and down!! It's driving me mad! My mood has improved although I don't necessarily feel happy! Just abit.. blah. And my anxiety is still hanging around although I think it's the slightest bit better.
Is this normal?! Thanks xx
katecogs ria57147
Posted
Hi ria
No problem at all
Yes that seems quite normal - its your body adjusting to the meds. Some times you'll also feel like your old self followed by feeling ill again. Symptoms will ease off little by little, some lingering longer than others. For me the early morning anxiety was the last thing I lost. Eventually you'll start feeling like your old self for short periods followed by feeling ill again, and slowly the good periods will get longer. It'll all even out eventually.
It is frustrating to be like this, but it seems the general way everyone feels on these meds - some suffering more than others. Recovery can happen so slowly that its often hard to see, but you've said you think the anxiety is slightly better - that's often how slow it works.
It really does get better.
Hope that helps xxx
ria57147 katecogs
Posted
Thanks so much!
I thought I was doing better but I've had a really bad day today.. feeling down and anxious. It really is so frustrating to think you're turning a corner and then feeling like I'm right back down to where I started! Then of course the panics sets in.. maybe these meds won't work for me etc etc.
This whole process has been so mentally draining for me and I guess everyone that goes through it!
Xx
katecogs ria57147
Posted
When you're not well and your body is anxious, your thoughts are bound to be negative and anxious too - its normal. I was exactly the same.
Yes it is frustrating. Don't know why we have setbacks and why our body can't just get well without all this to-ing and fro-ing, but it does seem to happen to everyone. Its just your body adjusting.
Everytime you have a setback / blip just remind yourself that its a necessary part of recovery - that's what I did.
When you're anxious its usually because you get caught in a cycle of fear / anxiety / fear. You become anxious, which frightens you, and in turn in creates more anxiety etc etc. These meds will help to break that cycle.
It can be a long road, but its worth the wait at the end xxx
ria57147 katecogs
Posted
Thanks so much!
I think it's amazing that you come onhere and offer advice and reassurance to people like me 😊
It's comforting to know that how I'm feeling is 'normal'. Ive had a much better night.. the anxiety is still there but I've been in a better mood than today that's for sure!!
I love the advice about remembering that every setback is a necessary part of recovery.. I will definitely try to keep that in mind!
Thanks again xxx
katecogs ria57147
Posted
I came on here over 2 years ago when my son also became ill as I had done many, many years ago, so I came for reassurance and ended up reassuring others lol. Am still here!!
He recovered too xx
ria57147 katecogs
Posted
Well I think that's awesome!
Another quick question.. in the past week or so I have noticed that I've been clenching my jaw and my back.. or some other part of my body.. seems to always feel tense.. I'm assuming it's anxiety and the meds can help with this? Or maybe a side effect?
I'm having counselling too so hopefully I don't need to rely on the meds forever!
Well I'm off to sleep now so I'll catch you in the morning 😊
Where are you from? I'm down under in Oz!
Xx
katecogs ria57147
Posted
Yes that's anxiety, and yes the meds will help you to relax and calm down too. Aside from taking the meds, I learnt to relax my body and let go of tension which really helps. You usually find you're holding lots of tension in your middle, so learning to let that go whilst you're moving about (not just sitting) and carrying on with whatever you're doing will help to calm your body down.
Also try taking life at a slower pace. Don't rush about, walk slower, drive in the slow lane and let all the maniac drivers rush past. Take everything slower and in time it'll really help your body and put you in good stead to help in the future.
Its not easy letting go and relaxing, but with practice it gets easier. I use it all the time and in any stressful situation.
Counselling will be so beneficial too, though I now prefer the books I have.
Takaing meds forever isn't a bad thing though you know - when I was ill my doctor said I could take them for life if I wanted to which reassured me a lot, and I had no plan in mind to come off them. But, it is good to learn other skills too so you can use them. I did with relaxing and understanding.
I'll message you a link which is really good.
I'm in the UK - ah so you're 'upside down' to me then
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Hi Kate I have had my review and the gp told me to stick with the 20mg so hopefully it's going to be a strong enough dose for me.
I'm hoping for more improvements but from your advise that you have gave me this will come with time and what you says to me gives me hope so thanks for that.
Just hoping the anxiety symptoms lower and hopefully I can get back upto the house.x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Glad the review went well. Good idea to stick with the 20mg, and yes it will happen really, really slowly. You often think nothing is happening but it is, just that you can't see any improvement to show for it. Teeny changes start happening one by one, ie maybe feeling slightly calmer or maybe sleeping better, but changes don't happen all at once ..... more like being drip fed Also symptoms will come and go, so don't worry if you suddenly think its all come back - its normal for that to happen - its just your body adjusting.
It will get better - just perseverance and lots of patience.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thanks Kate
I have been feeling more of my old self and sometimes I find myself not thinking about anxiety at all.
I'm just over the ten week mark so hoping for more and more improvements to slowly creep in.
X
abi28
Posted
Something else I wanted to ask Kate I don't know if you have ever felt like this but i feel like i don't feel clear on things like I think to myself do I actually really love my partner am I actually happy with me and I don't really want to see him. Iv never felt like this before is it just the anxiety do you think
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes that's how it begins - you start feeling like yourself and your mind become free from continuous thinking. It might come and go, but thats normal, and that good feeling will row.
Your mind can think strange things sometimes when you're not well. I wouldn't act on anything until you're feeling completely well again as that as you'll have a clearer mind and feel completely different about things.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thanks Kate hoping for more improvments then as the weeks go on but hopeuflly this is the start of it.
I beliveve you told me before about recovery just creeping in and that's how I feel it has been so far just getting better without really realising it.
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes that's right - it crept up on me without realising I was recovering. Mine started with little glimpses of feeling like me, calm and not thinking of anxiety, and those times grew. One night I was at a dance class and at the end it suddenly dawned on me I hadn't given the anxiety one thought the whole time I was there. I woke every day full of anxiety, but usually wore off as the day went on. That good feeling grew and spread into my days until one day I woke with no anxiety. That took 6 months - to it wasn't bad all the way through that period.
ria57147 katecogs
Posted
Hey!
So 7 weeks in on the meds and I am definitely feeling better although the anxiety is lingering but I'm hopeful for a lot more improvement 😀
Although over the last week I've been getting headaches and grinding my teeth which is something I've never done before.. I'm thinking it's a side effect of the Prozac but would it be normal to still be getting side effects this far into the meds in your experience?
Thanks again
X
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Iv been feeling better in myself but when I think about going up the house I feel the anxiety inside me... I hope this goes and another symptom I'm having is feeling sick.
I'm getting close to 11 weeks now and still hoping the fluoxetine will help with the anxiety.
Can't believe how slow it's crept in though I would say I'm about 70% better then I was mostly my mood has improved the most.
Did you find your anxiety just slowly reduced.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Hey that's good to hear!!! Yes the anxiety will be able to be tolerated more as you recover more. When you're not well, your body is sensitised and your nerves are on heightened alert, your emotions all over the place and of course you feel anxiety very strongly. Your nerves become 'trigger happy' and anything could make your anxiety fire ...... and your trigger is the house at the moment. As you recover your body become desensitised, and you won't get that anxiety, so you'll be able to think of the house in time and it won't cause that anxiety surge.
I had the same - I had scary thoughts which always produced anxiety and I couldn't see how it would ever stop as I only had to think of it for me to get the anxiety surge. As I recovered, my body healed and became desensitised so my nerves began to not fire off the anxiety when provoked. I was eventually able to think of my fears and I felt nothing.
You might feel some disdain towards the house, but your body won't provoke the anxiety because its healing and becoming desensitised.
Hope that makes sense.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Still having negative thoughts thinking Im never going to be able to leave my parents or live in that house.
Thanks Kate for your ongoing support you have really been helping me through this and without people like you reassuring me and keeping me going I dont know where I would have been.
Thanks
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
You will - as your body recovers and becomes stronger it won't feel the anxiety as acutely as you do now. Everything will be put back into perspective as it used to be.
Yes that's right, you'll notice little improvements each week / month. Negative thinking will also change as you get better, and will turn into more positive thoughts.
Though I suffered really bad when I was ill, I actually now feel strangely grateful for the experience I went through as its made me appreciate every little thing in life now.
You'll get there too xx
ruth05603 katecogs
Posted
katecogs ruth05603
Posted
Hi Ruth
Yes it is an effort isn't it - and not wanting to be around people is completely understandable. If you're already tired, just making an effort is too much sometimes, and even trying to concentrate on conversations can be difficult. Stepping outside your comfort zone occasionally, in small doses, is good though. Just those little pushes, but all gently. Maybe not crowds, but being with 1 or 2 people sometimes is comforting. And if you want to be isolated at times, curl up with a duvet or whatever then that's just what you need too.
Negative feelings and thoughts are quite normal when you have anxiety. Your body is anxious and negative, so its understandable that your feelings and thoughts will be too ...... at the moment. As you recover, the negativity will slowly change and become positive again.
K x
ruth05603 katecogs
Posted
Oh it really is good just being able to talk to you on here. I can't talk about how I am feeling at work and although I do talk to my husband who has been great he is obviously busy working. I am struggling with everything but feel that work does help because although it is hard sometimes not to burst into tears it does mean that I have less time to brood. I do take heart from the progress you have made and am so glad that not only are you feeling better but that you can actually take the time to help others
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thanks Kate.
Everything you have said to me has been 100% true and even at times when I thought I would never get better your comments really helped me through it so thank you.
Week 11 today for me and I can't believe how far I'v came and it has felt like forever but I feel like im 70% there just hoping that this isn't it for me I feel scared that the fluoxetine is working at its full potential and maybe I do need the increase that the GP was keen to give me but I don't have another review for 10-11 weeks.
Hope I will feel the same after all this is over.
Thanks
x
katecogs ruth05603
Posted
I know what you mean - I felt being at work helped as being with people and being busy were things I had to do, though sometimes I couldn't get out of bed and face the day, so did skip the occasional work day ... but often then wished I'd made the effort. My husband was also great, but there's only so much ear bending you can do to someone who hasn't experienced this. I had tears at work, tears at the doctors, tears on the cat ...... (bless her), but crying helps release the tension and adrenaline that builds up.
I recovered many years ago, and then my son succumbed to this too so I came on here for comfort / help for him ...... and I'm still here!! My son recovered too btw.
You will too xx
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yep - I also felt I'd never recover, thought that was my life forever. I didn't even know anyone else suffered the same as I did. There were no sites like this, and I'd always thought it would be good to be able to talk to others similar to me. But there was nothing. In fact, the internet wasn't even around when I was ill. I told nobody, as didn't quite understand anything, and was afraid of what people would think. Mental illness was really a taboo subject. But its not mental .... anxiety is physical, and yes it affects your mental well being, but that's a side effect. Fix the anxiety and its symptoms will go too.
That's why I read lots of books about this when I was ill. They were my comfort. Through them I began to understand it wasn't the scary place I thought it was, understood what was happening to my body which took a lot of the fear away. Taking massively medication helped me, and it completed the package. It took 6 months on meds before I finally felt recovered (though occasionally still shaky). From there onwards I improved more and more.
Its great you've got to the stage where you can see how far you've come, and 70% is brilliant. You've still got that last bit to go, and its normal that you've still got a bit of negativity and fear about not reaching the full potential. You will. Just more time is still needed.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I don't know how you got through it Kate without sites like this. Iv been doing full time this week so that's another positive. I still feel like I don't really understand anxiety and sometimes when the negative thoughts start I think to myself is this anxiety surely not it can't be, like I always think about not being at my home and moving out again and then it leads to thoughts of I can't leave my mum and dad etc etc. Then I think it's just anxiety then I think it's not I just can't move out then that leads to another negative thought or worry.
Hope so Kate the gp said I don't need to see her for another review for a few months so I suppose that's good.
Did you used to get any sickness with your anxiety I get loads I feel sick a lot of the time.
Thanks
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
No, I don't know how I did either looking back. Anxiety is difficult to understand, but reading about it again and agin it began to make sense to me. Yes the negative thoughts are because of anxiety and or depression, and these thoughts all lead from one to another. Your mind just overthinks and races along.
Recovery can happen so slowly you hardly notice it. Seeing your review has been stretched out and you can see recovery, is such a good sign.
I don't remember having sickness - I did when I first started the medicine and again when I withdrew from them the first time. The meds affect everyone differently.
K x
ruth05603 abi28
Posted
Oh yes I feel sick most of the time. I can't eat much which doesn't help as the anxiety grabs my stomach. Mornings are the worst.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I just feel scared that this anxiety will never go and because I read the fluoxetine can cause anxiety feel like it won't go because of this reason.
It's just horrible I feel so sick most of the time, never thought recovery would take this long.
Would you say that because I have improved this is a good sign the fluoxetine will help the anxiety because I feel like it will only help the depression don't know if you ever felt the same.
Thanks
X
abi28 ruth05603
Posted
It's horrible isn't it Ruth I feel like I don't know what to do to stop it
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
We all have that fear - I did too. When you're in the midst of it all you can't see a way out, and because your body is anxious you're bound to think anxiously and negatively too.
The meds are working - you've shown signs of improvement. It can take many months, not weeks. Remember, if you had a broken leg you wouldn't expect it to be healed within a few weeks. That would take months and months, and even when the plaster cast comes off you'd still feel not 100% until you had physio and started using it. This works exactly the same. Count recovery in months, not weeks. It takes a long time to become ill like this, and so it'll take a long time to reverse it.
Did I send you the weblink? Have a read about 'adding anxiety to anxiety with negative thinking'. Don't read things on the internet, stop looking for answers. You'll only make yourself worry and more anxious. Just stick to the weblink I sent and this site - there's too much scaremongering about on the internet, usually written by people who were unsuccessful by taking their meds incorrectly.
Fluoxetine doesn't cause anxiety - but it merely heightens it to start with. This also happens everytime you increase your dose too.
I've talked to many people on this site, who have also felt absolutely wretched and terrified, can't see a end to it all the suffering. But they've gone on to recover on medication.
You will too.
K xx
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thanks Kate.
This message has gave me hope again because my anxiety is quite high today for some reason I may have over done it a bit with the working full time.
I'll read through that website again because iv been working full time I forgot about it.
I need to remember I'm quite early into recovery because all I keep thinking is I want to be better and I'm fed up of feeling like this.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes, overdoing things too soon can bring you down a little. Maybe similar to recovering from flu ...... you start to feel well, do too much and it takes it out of you.
I wanted to be better now too - wanted it to stop ..... accepting it'll take a while will take the pressure off yourself. Pushing yourself, being frustrated at wanting to be better only adds tension which isn't good for anxiety. Relax, accept it'll take a while, stop adding anxiety to an already anxious body, step aside and let your body heal itself. Stop adding fuel to the fire, let it burn itself out and die away
ruth05603 abi28
Posted
I know me neither. I find that usually I can't eat anything all day and can just about manage something in the evening when my anxiety drops slightly. Hopefully this is just part of the condition which will eventually pass.
ruth05603 katecogs
Posted
katecogs ruth05603
Posted
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I think I may have done this I don't feel too good today feel really sick and tired keep doubting everything and worrying and having negative thoughts. Why is this illness so difficult
X
ruth05603 abi28
Posted
katecogs abi28
Posted
It was one of the hardest things I've gone through ....... but, having come through it I feel its made me a more understanding person and I enjoy every single minute of life.
Remember some days will be much worse than others. Even those days that aren't good, but are a tad better than worse, is showing you that your mood will be up and down throughout recovery. Over time it will get easier.
Try following up a negative thought with a positive one - you won't feel the benefit of the positive thought, but just saying it is a start.
K x
abi28 ruth05603
Posted
That's an achievement if you could even work away I couldn't do that's a positive
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Feeling a bit better today then yesterday very tired but at work.
I will try that Kate.
Keep going really dizzy when I stand up think this might be from the propranolol.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Feeling better today is those ups / downs. Shows the meds are working. Even if its only slightly better, they'll get better.
Could be the propranolol. Other things could be simply your ears ...... (coincidence of course). But worth checking out xx
ruth05603 abi28
Posted
ruth05603 abi28
Posted
Oh I thought so too but am paying the price now. Still I do think that no matter how bad I feel I do feel better if I can do things. The last 2 mornings I have woken up overwhelmed by anxiety and low mood so much so that I thought I couldn't possibly get out of bed. But found lying there even more destructive as the thoughts just went round and round. So got up and started doing small jobs and then went for a walk which helped a bit. The hardest thing is trying not to think too far hard ahead because then I can't cope cc
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Kate was you still having a lot of doubts and negative thoughts after 11 weeks or can you not remember I know it was years ago.
It's been a very up and down day and my negative thoughts and worries have been quite strong and I can't think of any positives.
Thanks
Kate
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Â
abi28 katecogs
Posted
The negative thoughts and worries are really getting me down I have them every day for about 60% of the day.
It's 12 weeks on Tuesday that iv been on the meds.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
When you're anxious you will get lots of 'what if this' 'what if that' going round and round in your head which are all created by your anxious state. An anxious body goes hand in hand with an anxious mind. Let these thoughts go, don’t react to them and see them as just that, thoughts that carry no weight whatsoever, no matter how loud they shout. Let them wash over you - knowing that they're temporary.
Whenever you try too hard to get rid of them, they'll only cling harder. So letting them be there, paying no attention to them whilst you carry on is the way to dampen them down. Its like passing through the eye of a hurricane whilst it rages around you.
Remind yourself after each thought its only because you have an anxious body. Its not how you normally think. They will go.
katecogs
Posted
Did you know there's an 'anxiety no more' App you can download to your phone? It might be comforting to have it to hand. Its on the weblink I sent.
K xx
ria57147 abi28
Posted
I have been on the meds now for 8 weeks and I reckon that I am about 80% better. My mood is good the anxiety is still there sometimes but from my many counselling sessions I have learnt that when the anxiety is there to just let it be there. Katecogs is so right when she says that you just haveto accept the feelings and not fight them. That way you take away their power. I know it's hard but you can do it!
X
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I hope so I just keep thinking lots of negative things about why I can't move out and live up the house and they just go round and round... I don't know what to do for the best.
I just want to know what I want and know what to do so I can live happy without always questioning everything.
X
abi28 ria57147
Posted
That's amazing if your 80% there, do you have counselling sessions every week. What sort of counselling are you having are you doing a particular therapy
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
You will think like that ..... for now, anyway. As you start recovering you'll have a completely different outlook about the house, the thoughts won't go round your head and they won't be anxious thoughts either.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I'm really down I don't know what to do can't stop crying just keeping thinking I'm never going to be able to move out and I should spilt up with my boyfriend so he can have a life with someone else who is normal.
I just want to be better and don't understand why I have this illness it's taking so long to get better and feels like nothing is helping me and nothing ever will
katecogs abi28
Posted
You are normal Abi - trust in the meds, they'll kick in for you. I know it feels like it lasts forever, but it doesn't. Trust the people who've been there ... you can get through this too xx
ria57147 abi28
Posted
I was just having talk therapy. I'm not having it now but had about 8 weekly sessions. They taught me so much about anxiety what causes it and how to manage it. The most important thing is never ever try to fight the anxiety. Just accept it and let it be there. My therapist even said to give the anxiety a name. So instead of thinking 'oh no I feel so anxious again' you could say 'oh Clive's here again'.. and get on with whatever you're doing.
I still have some way to go but I've just started a new job which is something that would normally totally freak me out and even though I was abit nervous about it it was manageable and I got by.
So do you feel any better at all? How long have you been on Prozac now? I know it can take a very long time to work and even way longer than that to consider yourself recovered.
Xx
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I hope so Kate I'm not good again today feel horrible...
Your such a support to me thank you so much
X
abi28 ria57147
Posted
You having no therapy now then? That sounds good I don't really feel like iv learnt anything.
A new job that's amazing I couldn't even imagine doing that so that's so good!!!
I do feel better then I did but I don't feel great and feel like it's been so long, not sure if I'm just having a blip. It's been nearly 12 weeks now. Don't know whether to speak to my gp for some advise.
X
ria57147 abi28
Posted
No not having therapy now.
Don't wantto tell you what to do but if it was me I would definitely be going back to my dr. 12 weeks is long enough to feel quite a noticeable difference. I know Prozac takes a long time to work but 3 months is quite a long time. I'm not sure if she would advise you to switch your meds or if she would want you to try something new? I remember lexapro working brilliantly for my anxiety when I was on it and it's very fast working.. pity it pooped out on me after a couple of years.
Anyway like I said I'm not saying what you should do only you and your dr can decide that.
I hope you're feeling a bit better today.
Xx
abi28 ria57147
Posted
I don't know what to do for the best I really don't I was thinking I was on an up and going to get more and more improvements but how I'm feeling right now is the same as I was before the meds.
Just want this to go
X
Luke7580 abi28
Posted
HI abi, katekogs has mentioned this several times, it feels like we go back to the beginning, that the weeks and months have been a waste of time because nothing has happened and we still feel like crap, but so long as there has been a few chinks of light, that means the meds are working, and I do recall you had a decent time of things around a week ago I believe.
I say this as I'm on a real 'low one' its bloody horrible isn't it, i was feeling pretty decent this time last week, now tho...... yuck.
I start week 8 on Tuesday, on 30mg now, I went onto the 30 about 12 days ago, all the best Abi.
abi28 Luke7580
Posted
Hi Luke,
This is the first time I feel as bad as I did before I started on the meds really really low. I start week 12 on Tuesday on the 20mg and was hoping I would feel loads more benefits then this. I don't understand after 12 weeks of taking medication I can feel as bad as I did at the start.
I did have some moments of feeling my old self but now I feel like I just want to feel good and happy every day. It is horrible I just don't know what to do.
Thanks
katecogs abi28
Posted
It'll probably be a few days before you start feeling ok again.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Is this normal Kate I don't no whether to phone the doctors? I feel as bad as I did before the meds did this happen to you?
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes its normal. Throughout recovery you'll be up and down many times - some down times lasting days, some weeks, some will be worse than others. Understanding this process helps, as well as understanding about each symptom. You can't stop the anxiety now, but learning about it and how to pass through it starts helping to desensitise your body and slowly the anxiety will start to ease. The medication takes forever ..... nothing bad will happen to you ..... its just getting through those awful side effects.
I never thought I'd ever escape from this illness / condition - and it dragged on for 16 years for me. I had a couple of years during that time when I recovered, but I didn't know how I had done, so when it returned I didn't know how to handle it. Understanding and releaxing towards anxiety are such a vital tools that will always be with you for any future occurrences (not that it should return, mind) ...... but it gives you the upper hand.
Anxiety usually comes about, and then the biggest problem we all adopt is being afraid of that anxiety, which then keeps you in the loop. This can then grow, finding more things to be anxious about and then again being afraid of that. It becomes one huge scary, mysterious minefield, and one you can't see your way out of. This is where understanding helps. It gives you a clearer picture, shows you the path to take, and yes it'll still feel painful and scary, but pointed in the right direction you'll be able to take your first steps along that path whilst the anxiety rages around you ..... but passing through it without adding more anxiety to the pot, will slowly bring you past it all and out into the open. The medication is already leading you down that path, even though you can't feel it yet, and those ups and downs will happen as you go, so understand they do seem to be a necessary part of recovery, head down, relax and pass by them.
Some blips will be worse than others and I suspect at the moment you're tensing and being fearful towards this latest blip. It will go.
K x
ruth05603 abi28
Posted
I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. It really is an awful illness. I had 2 reasonably good days and then today I feel terrible again. I too just want to feel happy all the time and that makes the down times even worse. Especially when you do get some better days cos you build your hopes up and then they come crashing down again. I am just trying to hang on to the fact that I do have occasional good moments and that as Kate says these will increase. When are you due to see your doctor? Mine gave me 2 months supply of tablets and then I have to go back and tell him how I am getting on.Â
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Its so horrible and I can't understand how I can feel as bad now as I did at the begining, I don't even want to be on my own because I feel like I need someone with me at all times.
I want to see the doctor but feel they will only make me increase my dose and I will be even worse.
x
abi28 ruth05603
Posted
I feel the same Ruth I just want to be happy like others around me.
I was having good moments but just feel so awful again worse I'v felt since being on the medication.
The same as you my GP gave me 2 months supply and told me to make a review in a few months which was 2 weeks ago.
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Its your body adapting to the meds. Have you seen my post on 'Reasons Why Meds Take So Long And Why You Feel So Rubbish' - it explains why you feel like you do and often go backwards. Its always 3 steps forwards and 2 steps back all the the way through recovery.
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/reason-meds-take-so-long-and-why-you-feel-rubbish-571394?page=0#2624705
K x
katecogs
Posted
Forgot to add ...... nobody can 'make' you increase your dose if you don't want to. Your doctor will advise, you can discuss it with him, and at the end of the day its up to you whether you want to increase or not - its your body.
The only way someone will make you increase is if they tie you down and force it down you ...... luckily we've come a long way since the Victorian ways
Have a look at the Anxiety No More weblink - it will help to alleviate some of the fear.
K xx
abi28 katecogs
Posted
No iv not read that I'll have a read.
I have been reading that and it calms me for a minute then I just feel anxiety flaring up again.
Iv never really felt the anxiety like this before in my body.
I have therapy later hopefully my therapist can help me but iv not done any coping methods with her yet.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yes reading that website will help - it won't stop the anxiety, not immediately anyway, but with continued reading and starting to feel it, you'll begin to understand it.
When I had bad times, I'd get outside and walk or cycle. Sitting around didn't help me at all - I just dwelled on it. Exercise helps to burn off excess adrenaline / anxiety.
Coping methods are good - but its the densitisation method that'll help diffuse the 'bomb' eventually ..... that and along with the meds.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I will keep reading it then and hopefully it will help.
What do you mean by desensitise and what's helps this.
I just can't get my head around how I can feel as bad as I did before meds now I'm on meds. Sorry if iv already said that.
Last night and today has been the worst day iv had on the meds and the reason I went on meds was because of feeling like this.
Thanks for your support Kate you help me so much and I'm so greatful.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Desensitise ....... when you become ill it can often start from prolonged stress, and during this time your body becomes sensitised .... you begin to feel on edge, are easily angered, more emotional, more uptight etc etc ..... you're beginning to become over sensitive. Your body can only take so much stress before it boils over, often resulting in anxiety / depression. The anxiety can be shocking which you can then become afraid of it ....... and so the journey begins, with the anxiety growing. Your body is sensitised - meaning your nerves and thoughts are overreacting to everything which continually produces anxiety.
Densitising your body is reversing that process by understanding what's happening, not adding anxiety to the anxiety (stop fuelling the fire), relaxing towards it, letting it be there ........ the weblink explains it more in detail.
Your body slowly returns to normal. It is no longer sensitive.
The medication obviously helps enormously, but understanding helps and stops you going round in circles.
K x
ruth05603 katecogs
Posted
katecogs ruth05603
Posted
Is your husband on medication too - has he been on them long? Â Does he talk about it to anyone, or seeing a doctor?
Â
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Did you just keep reading over and over the website then Kate. That's what I'm doing I keep reading over it every day, I'm guessing it will take time before I start actually understanding it...
My anxiety is sky high again this morning wasn't too bad last night I feel really tired and don't want to get out of bed.
Still undecided whether to call my gp or not and ask for advise or just try to keep pushing on with the 20mg
X
ruth05603 katecogs
Posted
Hi Kate
yes he is on medication but he does nothing to look after himself and he won't talk to me about how he is feeling. He just lies about all day and watches news. He is obsessed with watching the news. I am so worried about him but just don't know how to help him while I am feeling so bad myself
katecogs abi28
Posted
Well before I knew about this website it was different books that I had to keep reading over and over - it was the same method. I began to understand the books, tried out the method but obviously didn't feel any benefit because I was expecting too much too soon. As I started recovering on the meds it began to make sense.
When you're down 'in that hole' you can't see anything because you have negative thoughts and feelings all the time, so though you may read something you won't necessarily 'feel' it. As you begin to recover you'll start being more positive and have positive thoughts and things begin to make much more sense. You do sometimes have to step outside your comfort zone in order to start healing - a little exercise, eating well, sleep well (if you can), socialise a little (if you can), don't lie on the sofa or in bed (yep, I've done that too), relax towards the anxiety (very hard). But making small changes starts to help.
That might be a sign of the start ..... I had dreadful anxiety every morning, but my evenings were better. I slowly started getting glimpses of normality in the evenings, and over time that grew more into my day (over many months), though eveny morning continued to be awful. Mornings are not an indication of what the rest of the day will turn out to be.
Is your GP very helpful and knowledgeable in this?
K x
katecogs ruth05603
Posted
Men eh ......
Is he anxious about the news or just that its something to watch? How long has he been on medication?
It is really better to help yourself than sit around dwelling on it. Is there anything he's interested in doing - hobbies? Can you go out for a walk every day ...... small things lead to bigger things.
Its hard when you're not well yourself. Over 2 years ago my son had a breakdown too and was put onto SSRI's - he went through hell and back. It was the most traumatic thing for me to watch ..... and so I restarted meds again myself, having come off them a year before, but I began to feel ill again so restarted before I sank too low as I couldn't be dealing with myself when he needed me. My son didn't want to do anything but hide in bed. He was off work for 4 months and was a wreck. I took him out every day walking or cycling, but he didn't really 'see' anything, but just looked at the ground. I took him to an African drum group I belonged to and asked if there was anything else he wanted to do .... guitar. Over time I stopped going and he continued with both groups, gaining more interest. He struggled, but kept going, including walkin / cycling daily. Slowly his meds kicked in and it took 9 months for him to recover. A year later he came off meds and today is still playing drum and guitar, has a girlfriend, goes abroad on holidays and is just back to his normal happy self again.
Making the effort / stepping outside your comfort zone a little makes all the difference.
So yes, see if there's something you can do together ........
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I'm going to keep reading that website over and over again and buy the book.
Good things I have been doing is eating more healthy, working, going out more at the weekends, taking the dog now and again and seeing family.
Don't really know every time I have had a review is when iv been not too bad no blips or anything and she just listens to me and tells me to keep with the therapy.
Today has been a slight bit better then yesterday only slight though.
I didn't realise you can have such a bad blip at 12 weeks on the meds and go back to how you felt at the beginning every other blip iv hasn't been like this.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
That's really good doing all these things - it really will help in time. Awww you've got a dog!!!
That's sods law when you're seeing the doctor / therapist and they don't see you at your worst.
Ah ha .... only 'slight' is a good sign. Recovery does usually happen really slow so that you don't really notice it ...... and these slight changes start to happen. You might wake tomorrow with anxiety, but it might wear off during the day so you feel slightly more at ease again.
Yes - I had blips up to 6 months, and even after I'd recovered I had the occasional one up to a year after. The blps however get less intense as you recover, so even though you may get one many, many months down the line it won't feel as bad as the beginning. And yes - you can get a bad one happen occasonally. That's why understanding what they are, that they're normal, realxing towards them helps each time one happens. I think instead of bracing against them, instead welcome them as that's when you can practice all this.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Yes and I'm sure he knows I'm poorly he doesn't leave my side bless him.
I can feel that the anxiety is burning inside me tonight waiting to erupt. I keep having lots of negative thoughts.
I feel the worst iv felt I'm petrified I feel like I'm going to be sick.
I don't want to be left on my own and can't stand silence.
X
katecogs abi28
Posted
Animals can sense things ...... he sounds lovely.
Anxiety will only build to a certain level - it won't get any higher, and nothing will happen to you, however uncomfortable it feels. You will have negative thoughts with you have anxiety - its a side effect.
Try and relax as much as you can, breath slowly and on every out breath relax a bit more .... let go of any tension.
K x
ria57147 abi28
Posted
That's disheartening Abi.
I have had an anxious couple of days which is upsetting because I was feeling quite good. I guess it's just part of the process.
Very frustrating that it can take so long 😰
X
abi28 katecogs
Posted
It's so horrible woke up full of anxiety again.
Really want to speak to my gp but scared she will just increase my dose.
I feel really really tired today I don't want to get out of bed or go work.
This blip has lasted 3 days now 4th day today.
X
abi28 ria57147
Posted
I no ria it's horrible I feel like iv gone back to the start and I'm scared 20mg is not enough for me or fluoxetine won't work for me.
It is very frustrating just want to get over this latest blip.
X
ria57147 abi28
Posted
It's very scary and confusing when we think we are on the improve then all of a sudden we feel like we are at the start!
I was feeling quite good for a couple of weeks but now I'm struggling a bit.. just hoping I improve again.. and then there's of course the anxiety that I won't. Stupid anxiety!!
You were feeling a lot better for a while weren't you before this latest blip?
X
abi28 ria57147
Posted
I wish I could see my therapist every day I get so much reassurance from her.
I was having moments of completey forgetting about anxiety.
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Don't forget, mornings are often the worst. That first morning anxiety isn't always an indication how the rest of your day will be.
Do you know we do this to ourselves? We keep the anxiety alive and thriving by recoiling from it, fearing it - that produces more anxiety. We become trapped in the anxiety - fear - anxiety cycle. These bad days are when you need to push through it all in a relaxed manner. There will be days like this and there'll be good days too.
You're tired because you're fighting it when you should be stepping aside, letting it do its thing whilst you relax towards it. Take the tension from your body, especially the stomach, stop clenching the jaw, let go and float along. By doing this repeatedly it gives the body the message that you're not afraid and over time your body will begin to desensitise. It's not easy to carry on calmly whilst the fire rages inside you, but by doing so (or as much as you can) it'll slowly stop adding fuel to the fire and will eventually diffuse. You will fail many times trying to do doing this, but regular practice will bring about a calmer body and ease the anxiety.
It's up to you entirely whether you increase your meds dose or not. Your doctor will advise, but it's up to you.
My son was on these meds and the first 4 months were hell for him. He was off work all that time. He then started getting glimpses of recovery and it took the next 5 months being up and down before he was completely well. It got better and better over the whole 9 months.
You can do this too xxx
ria57147 abi28
Posted
Just try to remember those good moments and know that because you have felt them you can go back to them and you will. The meds must be doing something!
That's what I'm telling myself as well.
Maybe you may need to go up to 30 and if you do so be it.. if that's what's going to help you it can't be a bad thing.
X
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I have been finding its really bad when I wake up not as bad while at work then starts again when I get home from work because I feel scared I have nothing to do and will just sit around worrying.
I dont know how to stop fearing it I cant. I tell myself that I'm doing this because I keep worrying then I worry about worrying and I can't break the cycle.
Is there any meditation you do Kate? I dont know if to try doing some.
So I suppose it is a good thing that I'm working but worry that I will tire myself out but feel scared not to come work as when I'm at work I dont seem to worry as much.
Thanks again for your amazing support and help Kate. I dont know how our son got through it, having you supporting him must have really helped.
I feel scared to tell my parents and partner all my worries and negative thoughts I feel like it would petrify them.
Thanks
x
abi28 ria57147
Posted
I have called my GP but the doctor I see I cannot see until 24th April. Will see how the day goes but I will have to make another appointment with another GP if I am still at rock bottom.
Going to do some research about SAD lamps, lavender oil and meditation.
x
Luke7580 abi28
Posted
I'm amazed you're still at work Abi if it's this bad, I'm feeling awful right now, the thought of work terrifies me, I'm even struggling to get the energy to take the dogs out ??
katecogs abi28
Posted
That's how it was with me. I'd wake and feel dreadful, and once at work it didn't feel as bad (still bad enough mind).
You won't stop fearing it just like that - your body has to unlearn the fear. That's by relaxing, letting go of the tension in your body and carry on with what you're doing. Relaxing isn't slumping in the chair, but is about moving around in a relaxed manner. This does not stop the anxiety ..... but this is allowing the anxiety to be there whilst you relax towards it instead of tensing towards it. Tensing means fighting it. Your body is tense, your nerves like a tense body, and anxiety likes tension too. So by releasing the tension its the beginning of reversing the process. This method especially applies to when you have scary thoughts or a surge of panic. Relax towards it, let it come, let the thoughts come (they're a side effect of anxiety). Also stop rushing about - walk slower, drive slower, don't get uptight over things ... let it go. Its the same when you brace against the cold - your muscles all go tight. You have to do the opposite and release them ..... relax. It won't happen overnight and it won't happen by tomorrow, but with continued relaxation as you move around it your body will relearn to not be afraid. Its not easy and you will continue to get uptight because that's what your body is used to ..... but with continued practice you'll undo the fear.
That is the tool to use - relax and let go. The other tool to use is understanding what's happening to your body - you can get that from the website and book. The best tool to use too of course is the medication - this takes a long time.
Are you on your own in the evenings? Can you arrange a programme to do - go out walking, go to different groups (if you can) ...... but doing something each night would help.
When you say you worry about not breaking the cycle and that you worry you'll tire yourself out ...... this is what I talk about by saying you keep adding 'fuel to the fire'. These worries bring added anxiety which keeps you in the anxious cycle. That's fine to worry and you won't stop worrying overnight ..... but when you have a worry, try following up with positive thoughts 'ok, I maybe will tire myself out and that's fine, it won't always be like that' ..... and 'I WILL break the cycle, its just that I can't see or feel that yet'. Of course you will have worries - your body is anxious and you will think anxiously. Breaking this worry cycle is done by letting those thoughts be there, don't try and stop them coming, but everytime you have an anxious thought then follow it up with a positive thought (as said above).
My son was in the same boat as you. It was terrifying when I suffered, but was even more terrifying watching my son go through the same. Yes I helped him every day, telling him the same things I say to others. He cried so much and lost so much weight he looked dreadful. I talked to him and took him out every day walking or cycling, accompanied him to every doctor and therapists meeting until he felt able to go in alone (I still sat in the waiting room for him). I got him interested in music and took him to a group for some months and one day he decided to go by himself. He started having times when he felt well followed by big downfalls. 9 months it took us, but we never stopped. During this time I had to restart meds myself (I'd already come off mine some time before), but the emotional stress began to affect me and I didn't want to have to deal with myself when he came first. About 18 months after he recovered he came off medication and is still well.
So I feel I've been through this twice. Both times I used the relaxing / understanding method alongside medication. I was then surprised to find that website and book because it was exactly how I did this and his words were so familiar to me - we'd both independently got our information from the same books many years ago. It worked for him too. That's why I swear by it.
I never told anyone when I was ill for fear of what people would think of me. either. When my son became ill I told him he could tell me anything at all as it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. If you don't feel able to talk to your parents and partner, then maybe tell them just some things you feel comfortable with and keep your other thoughts to chatting here with others or when you see your therapist. People who have never suffered with this have absolutely no idea what its like, so it is difficult for them to understand completely. Maybe ask them to look at this site - it may help them understand?
K x
abi28 Luke7580
Posted
I don't know how either to be honest I just drag myself here because I say to myself I will feel better at work.
Oh no Luke I feel your pain hope it gets better for you soon.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
Thanks for that message Kate Iv had to read over and over it to take it in haha Iv even printed it off.
I dont really feel like I have tension its weird I only feel anxiety when I think of a negative thought or worry which is all day every day. Its the worrying I need to stop or deal with just dont know what to do, sorry if it sounds like im just repeating myself and going round and round in circles.
I'm not on my own in the evenings no but I feel petrified when I think of having to be on my own with no one at home because I feel i have nothing to do and need someone there to distract me.
So happy you and your son recovered
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
You'd be surprised at how much tension you actually carry, but not realise it. When you go to sleep your body becomes deeply relaxed, and that's the sort of relaxation I mean (though don't go around all day sleeping haha). I'm a pretty laid back person anyway, but after I've been to a yoga class when we've relaxed I leave class completely zenned out, far more relaxed than when I'd arrived .... and yet I didn't feel tense.
I used to also have scary thoughts and anxiety all throughout the day too - every single day. I also hated being on my own too as I also found being around people helped to distract me. Reading books I began to understandy why I had it, why I had the thoughts, I knew why they stuck around and why they wouldn't go and I understood about accepting and knew the thoughts were just there because of the anxiety etc. I just couldn't fathom out how to start. I had the words, and at least I knew. Starting the meds I didn't know I was recovering, but as I began to get better so I began to understand how to relax etc. It became clearer.
So, though helping yourself may seem an impossibility at the moment, I found understanding what's happening made it all seem not such a huge mystery as it once was.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I am trying to understand it iv been reading the website every day and when I feel myself worrying I keep telling myself not to react to it...
What self help techniques do you do at home to help you let go of tension and relax.
Still feeling really bad today woke up feeling really tired and very low mood.
It's annoying how I can't see my gp until the 24th April, I know I could see another one but I like to see the same one every time because she knows my story.
I feel like this blip is going to stick around for ages.
X
ria57147 abi28
Posted
I had a much better night last night and a reasonable day today so I think we just haveto ride the waves!
X
abi28 ria57147
Posted
A bit better then yesterday but again the anxiety feels like its just bubbling away inside me ready to erupt.
Still having worries and negative thoughts which just give me a surge on anxiety and leads to more worries/thoughts.
Thats good then Ria have you had any days where you have had no anxiety all day? this has not happened for me and I'm over the 12 week mark
x
ria57147 abi28
Posted
No I have always had anxiety at some stage during the day. Some days are good cos I can just forget about it and carry on. Like it doesn't bother me at all. Some days it really gets me down.
There's kind of a pattern that if I don't let it get to me and get me down it does tend to ease off to the point I don't really notice it but when I let it get to me it gets so much worse!!
Glad you are feeling even a little bit better! Do you feel depressed or is it more the anxiety?
X
abi28 ria57147
Posted
Just keep hoping that I will wake up better and back to my old self but I need to realise it might not happen like this and may just slowly get better and better.
abi28
Posted
I can really anxious when it's the weekend or Iv finished work because I feel like at work it distracts me a bit from the anxiety.
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Just catching up with the posts.
That's good to keep reading the website and telling yourself not to react to worrying is a start.
Self help techniques ....... I regularly release tension in my body which has become a bit second nature now, but a good way to start is to lay down, tense all your body up and hold for a few seconds, then slowly release it and let your body sink into the bed or whatever you're lying on .... and just relax. When you're sitting, tense up your stomach and hold, then release it, letting it really relax. Try it when standing up too (just the stomach), and then try walking around with the relaxed feeling. That's the relaxed feeling I mean. Moving around whilst the anxiety rages in this relaxed manner will help tremendously. Takes practice.
I saw in your post to Ria that you feel slightly better than yesterday but it still feels like its bubbling away waiting to erupt. Its good you can feel the difference than yesterday, even if its only slight ...... a good sign. The anxiety does feel like its bubbling away - that's how mine began and it felt like it was there waiting to pounce at any given opportunity. When it does pounce, try and relax towards it (as above).
You won't just wake up better ........ not yet anyway. It'll start easing more and more over time, and as you feel yourself getting better its then that one day you'll wake up better. It did with me - my anxiety started feeling slightly eased, but still there, and it carried on like that for a while. Then I started having periods of about maybe an hour to start with when it felt like it had disappeared and I felt like myself again. That lovely feeling would disappear and every day I'd still wake feeling terrified ...... but again it appeared, and again ...... and slowly that lovely feeling grew. I'd still get blips and really bad days / weeks, but again that lovely feeling came back. It grew and I began having days when I felt well - but each morning I'd still wake up frightened - it just got better as my day wore on. One day I woke and I had no anxiety ..... and I lay there hardly daring to breathe. Yes I still continued to have the occasonal blips, but I was able to cope with them better until finally they stopped.
That's how slow it worked for me over about 6 months.
abi28 katecogs
Posted
I will try this Kate thanks. At night when I'm watching tv i can feeling my legs tensed and I then let it go and feel them slowly tense again without noticing so I try and relax them again.
Yes yesterday I woke up really down and depressed and I didn't feel as depressed this morning.
I am having short moments of feeling like I forget about anxiety and how I feel then I like remind myself I have anxiety or think of a negative thought or worry to check if the anxiety is still there. I also find myself questioning how I feel a lot.
I dream of the day I wake up with no anxiety but I feel this will never happen while I have the house so really want to sell it but then I think I might get better then regret selling it.
Thanks for the message Kate, your messages always help me so much.
x
katecogs abi28
Posted
Yep - that's exactly what my brain did. When I had clear moments my stupid brain checked out where the anxiety was and tested me with a negative or scary thought. It will. Its so used to behaving in a certain way. Its just testing you.
Having those short moments of feeling you forget about anxiety is how it begins for many. If you get a negative thought just follow it up with 'hey this is normal at the moment, its just anxiety testing me whilst I recover'.
There's obviously some reason you associate the house with your anxiety .... but at the moment you you will think negatively about it - you might have different feelings when you're better. I'd hold fast on that at the moment and deal with it once better - you'll know what to do with it when you've recovered.
K x
abi28 katecogs
Posted
It's so annoying I didn't realise anxiety was so complex and serious.
I think it's because when I moved into that house the first night is when the anxiety was bad and then it got worse and worse until it lead to a breakdown so I associate the house with feeling ill as I never felt good when I was there and I only lived there for a month.
X
ria57147 abi28
Posted
I totally understand about associating the house with anxiety. When I started getting really anxious again around last September I joined the gym so I kind of associate that with anxiety now but it's getting better. I just keep going and I know eventually the feeling will go.
And yep anxiety is so complex. When it very first hit me a few years back I didn't believe that all the physical symptoms I was experiencing were caused by anxiety! I had so many tests done and it took me a long time to accept that it was just anxiety! As soon as I did things started very very slowly getting better.
It sounds like you're the slightest bit more positive Abi so you haveto be happy about that. Like Kate says it really is soooooo slow this process.
Kate.. were you still having bad days around the 9-12 week mark? I'm sure that you were it's just nice to be reassured xx
I'm having another reasonable day today so gonna enjoy that while it (hopefully) lasts!
Xx
abi28 ria57147
Posted
I feel like I'm not living and just existing. Iv had a nice long lie in this morning so that's good but I can feel a headache so I can feel that triggering the anxiety.
I wish the fear of being on my own and fear of when iv not got work would go.
I can't believe back in jan I thought I would be better after a week.
Iv finally put weight on so I'm really happy about that because I went down to 7 stone which really scared me
X
ria57147 abi28
Posted
How has your weekend been?
I've been feeling quite good but a little anxious now that it's Sunday night wondering what this week will bring!
Good thing you've put in weight if that's what you wanted
X
Em_lisa abi28
Posted
abi28 ria57147
Posted
Was ok until my partner came down to see me and it triggered my anxiety again. I don't understand why it's really frustrating me. I hate this so much and don't get why I'm still like this so far in on the meds.
How about you ria?
X
abi28 Em_lisa
Posted
X
Phoebepip katecogs
Posted
katecogs Phoebepip
Posted
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