Weekend are Difficult
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hey everyone! It's been a trying weekend. Right now as I'm typing this, my heartis a-pounding. Been watching the Olympics and putzing around the house. It's really hot here so my energy level is low but occasionally I will pop up from the couch and do a domestic chore.
?I woke up again around 5:15, one hour later than the previous night, fed the cats and laid back down again I was playing my relaxing music and my thoughts were pretty clear but my heart was a thumbing.
?My friend wants to have dinner later and I'm anxious about going out. She is a really dear friend but fear once I get there, I will want to leave. I now may have expressed the same feelings so I know many of you can relate.
?I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow to see if she can get me in sooner than the 26th. I don't think I can wait that long.
?Feeling isolated and alone. I know that I'm not because I have all of you. That does give me some comfort but still feel the same.
?It seems all I do is meditate and my breathing exercises. Sometimes I don't even want to post here. A sad state of affairs.
?Again, I know many feel the same. I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for listening!!
?Sending you all positive vibes!!
0 likes, 33 replies
helen20833 Tip
Posted
Hello there Tip
Aw honey, are you feeling a bit down? Weekends can be difficult. Our hours are not devoured by everyday life. There's more time to think, to dwell. And I know exactly what you mean about having to meditate all the time, having to practise breathing excercises. They in themselves more than anything remind us we have a problem and that if we don't follow through we will never cope. It's disheartening, isn't it?
It's the same with a reluctance to post on the forum. The forum is another reminder. When everything in you is screaming, I don't want to be like this! I just want to be normal. Get on with life! It's not fair! It's depressing as hell!I have experienced all those emotions and then some.
So, the way I came to terms with it was seeing my illness the same as one would tackle any illness. For instance, I would tell myself had I been in a serious accident I would have to stay in hospital for a great length of time, there might be the need for physiotherapy. I would want to go home not be in hospital for months. I wouldn't want the pain and struggle of physio...but....I would have to go through all that to heal...I would have to go through anything with any severe illness to heal, wouldn't I ?
Well Ad is a serious illness, right up there with the worst of them. And please, Tip, do not avoid having dinner with your friend! I made a similiar avoidance early on in my Ad ( because I didn't know any better, the help and understanding there is today wasn't available then) and what was the result? I became entrenched in agoraphobia and that is a battle you do not want to face, believe me.
Have dinner. Don't give in to the desire to "escape " because there is no true escape.It's one step forward and never backwards. It's the here and now, not yesterday, not tomorrow. And yes, try to see the GP. But more importantly don't let go of the hope in you
I send hugs, so many you can scare breathe!!!!!
Tip helen20833
Posted
I'm going to go and give it a try. I do feel the desire to escape but escaping scares me even more. I don't want that in my life - that's not who I am.
I'll try to maintain hope. WIth friends like you, it does help. I'll let you all know what happens.
?I truly love you all!!!
jay98357 Tip
Posted
Keep chatting here and we will all give our support. X X
Tip jay98357
Posted
kimberly59704 Tip
Posted
So glad you made the call. It is so terrible to feel like this all the time,and not to beable to enjoy a night out. I am suprized the your doc did not tell you to come in ASAP. My Gp, wants you to come in right away. I just know that you'll be feeling right as rain very soon.
Tip kimberly59704
Posted