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Went to see my back specialist today thinking he's going to say oh well with your FS there's no more I can do for your back ( which I have had a lot of problems with and one really big op) he made me feel really numb. I had convinced myself that I need to come to terms with how I am, 90% of the time in a wheelchair. BUT. He said to me that I might most probably need ANOTHER operation!! First bottom three vertebrae fused now he saying I might need the next three done as well!!! Totally thrown me for a loop!!! If I don't 100% in chair or if I didn't have op I most probably end up 100% in chair in the future!!!! My husband came with me and planed to come in the room, but my nine year old who has behavioural problems had to come with us started playing up so in I went on my own ! GREAT ! I feel I want to scream but can't because I have also lost my voice to a very sore throat!! When it rains it pours, well I suppose it's not pouring yet but drizzling really bad !! Lol I really need to find a light in this because at the moment all I can see is black. Need advice need a direction I NEED SOMETHING!!! Last op I didn't know I had FS didn't understand why it took so long to heal, this time I'm going to obsesse about it AHHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMING,!!! I wish there was a group I could go to and see faces but at least I have you guys on the end of a computer line. I'm sorry I'm rambling on I just......... Oh I don't know I'm scared! 😭😭😭😭
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