Well that didnt last long!!!

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Hi all ive suffered health anxiety since the sudden death of my dad on december 1st last year. I have every terminal medical condition going (in my head) DVTs , Heart attack , Cervical cancer , A brain tumour just to name a few . I had my first ever smear results last week which were clear and i told my self if they came back normal (which they did). Then i was going to put a stop to the anxiety once and for all. So i did and felt great! Except i then came down with a sinus ear and throat infection last week i am on antibiotics at the moment and feeling slightly better not 100% . But the anxiety seems to be coming back again and so does the googling which i managed to stop. I feel so dizzy / light headed , have a headache nearly everyday , tight sore neck and really tender spots on the tops of my shoulders , feels like my heart is beating too slowly , blurred vision , arms and legs feel like jelly they are just some of the symptoms ive got and haf on most days since my dad died. i have suffered headaches and migraines since the age of 11 . But im now starting to think along the lines of brain tumour again and its really putting a downer on things im going on holiday in 9 days with my partner and 4 children and just want to be normal so i dont mess the holiday up !!! Why is anxiety so cruel? I am on diazepam 4-5 mgs a day but its making me so dopey i cant concentrate , i forget what im doing sometimes i get my words mixed up is this normal for diazepam longterm use? I guess im just looking for some support and help why do i keep going back to anxiety? Why cant i just beat it and get my life back properly? Do any of u have any ideas on how to try and reject the negative thoughts? Any tips or help would be great and to also hear your symptoms do any of u experiance the ones i do? . I look forward to some replys hopefully :-) :-)

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  • Posted

    Hi Stacey

    Firstly sorry you are going through this my dad died suddenly in sept dvt massive heart attack so I know how easily health anxiety can creep up on you

    I can say I've had many of the symptoms I also suffered migraines many years the kind that makes you vomit this year though I had a week long headache no vomit the hospital did MRI and my neurologist says that a small percentage of suffers develop new migraine symptoms as they age so this could be it

    You should be so proud that you have fought this anxiety that is disabilatating I have had to try medication started yesterday I jus couldn't do it no more alone

    Sorry if this wasn't helpful I'm sure others will be better at helping

    Wishing you well x

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  • Posted

    Hi Stacey,

    You are most definitely not alone and I am so sorry you are having to go through this!

    I recommend therapy to help you get to the core of your anxiety. If you are anything like me, it probably stems from unresolved grief and a fear of the unknown (like when or how we will die) AND a fear of suffering. If you don't go to therapy, i do recommend the anxiety an phobia workbook, the book called from panic to power, and I recommend looking into supplements that help. I don't actually take prescriptions for mine and I find it completely miserable at times but I've noticed that I always feel better when I am taking care of myself.

    All of the symptoms you describe sound like anxiety to me. I've learned that my anxiety makes me scared of every ache and pain (that is part of our human experience) instead of allowing me to be like "hmm that's a weird pain, oh well".

    Oh, and my anxiety got worse after I watched my grandma (who was a mother to me) suffer for 3 years and then pass away unexpectedly. I also recommend the grief recovery handbook, I've just started it.

    I wish you the very best and complete healing!

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  • Posted

    I am so happy to hear all is well with the tests Stacey!!!! Some anxiety, like I have, never goes away. It is the way I have survived. Odd I know. But I have found that if I just don't think about things before hand, and just go through the motions, it helps me to stay calm. When we are going on vacation, I know my triggers, and avoid them. I just pack up what I know I am going to wear. Ask everyone if they have all they need. And go. Once I am there, I can totally relax. It also helps me to know there is a hospital near by if needed. Just knowing that there is someone to help if I get bad. But I have not had to go so far. Think of what you want to do while on vacation. Even if it is to just sit and read a book. And do it. Don't put pressure on yourself. Are you in Therapy? I go when I know my thinking needs to be reprogramed. I go as long as I need. Every week for 2 years if I have to. We do what we have to do to keep on living. Hugs
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  • Posted

    hi, i empathise i have all symptoms you have, mine reall y sinc death of my sister then mother a few months apart last year.  no wonder really as reality hits you when its clear we all get ill and eventually die in life, but saying that you can put it all in perspective and then eventually move on.  i wld say dont expect too much ever or put too much on yourself, its all understandable and acceptable to feel these sumptoms its your body trying to deal with and cope.  stay wit it however hard and be kind to yourself like taking that break, i will be soon and also am a little concderned how i will be, but try and float through these feelings, that will help
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