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I find it really difficult to talk to anyone about anything. Personal and after suffering for about six months with feeling crappy and realising it was just getting worse and worse I came on here for advice and you were all really helpful and nice and understanding and explain to him what I had explained on here.
I did that and it was one of the most horrible situations I have ever been in. I told him how I felt like there wasn't any point in being here I couldn't see the point in life and I felt lost his immediate reply was "what do you want a magic fix? Because haven't got one of those. It says here you were smoking 10a day smoking 2013 is that still the case?" When I replied I probably smoke twice that now he lectured me for ten minuteson why I should of quit smoking saying things "it's fine now but think of the cost on your family and the NHS later in life" and "how can expect people to help you when you don't start helping yourself" when all this made me cry his response crying won't fix it either. I don't know if he was trying to be motivational but he basically took everything I hate about myself told me it's true and told me it's my fault or that's what it felt like anyway.
in the end he said go to reception and ask for a counciling leaflet and I'll refer you but you have to ring and make an appointment. This was just as much of a nightmare the receptionist had no clue what I wanted, got stroppy with me when I was saying it quietly and practically made me shout it, everyone around looked. Then she sent me to some other reception who didn't know what I wanted, by this point I was crying so much I couldn't catch my breath (which is really embarrassing). The other reception woman sent a school nurse out to see me whose first question was what school do you go to, I'm 23! So she was just like oh erm oh sorry and scurried off so I sat there for twenty minutes while this woman said she was sorting it but all sshe actually did was print out a load of self help sh*t, which meant then going back to the first reception to try again after more crying some accidental shouting and being made a cup of tea I got my leaflet.
I was scared after all that and then I lost the leaflet. I find it hard to talk to strangers and my mood is just getting worse, I can't stand to be on my own at the minute this was like nearly three weeks ago I feel like I can't call them now and I don't have the number anyway and I don't see the point in going back to my gp after last time I feel like I've no options left where am I meant to go ?
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