What do I do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

So life was going great I came out of my depression death thoughts stopped no more self harming life was weirdly great minor ups and downs.

Then things just blew up in my face things started getting harder but not gradually all at once like a piano falling on you, I started falling apart but no one I talk to or spend time with understands me at all.

My boyfriend has trouble with his own feelings nevermind mine he's suffered with me for 5 years I say suffered because it's been hell for the both of us and at this point in lost again.

Worst part, I don't feel like I want to pick myself up anymore I struggle with so much all the time and I'm just giving up I have no motivation no confidence, I am falling apart and because I know no one that's experiencing or experienced the same I can't get any advice. I have a bf and a best friend they mean the world to me but I treat them badly a lot and I don't mean to I can't stop and think I just say and do my brain won't allow me to stop for a second and think it just boom. Help? How do I sort my life out? Again.

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Mornin tezz. Firstly glsd u have come on for some advice here. Means your wanting your life back and like me reached desperation before doing so. Its hard when ppl dont understand and the guilt that comes with it eats u up because you are hurting those closest to u x when i began to feel like this again i went back to my gp snd my meds are being changed, im awaitimg intensive therapy of which type ive no clue... and i emrolled on some mindfullness courses and for the first tym in my life yday started the gym. Im 8 mths into this bout tho so i recommemd small steps for u as im still having suicidal thoughts etc but my daughters life means more than my own. Yr not alone now tezz. Were all here. Make an appt with yr gp tho u may need more help. Let us know how u grt on hun ♡ xx-
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    • Posted

      Still battling away here. Talk of change of meds too. Do you know what you will get? I can only get private cbt and its not too frequent due to cost. Cannot face going on a course with other people, dont know why im so scared but it could help if i could get there.
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    • Posted

      Thank you, I think I've suffered with depression now since 2009, my other two mental illnesses are new however mess don't work on me they make me happy yes but then because everything is suppressed I got violent and they brought an anger out in me that I've never seen in myself before, however I do think more therapy is needed but it's hard to maintain they said it would get easier which it did hell of a lot easier life became lovable, now not do much I relapsed not long after my CBT I mean it's been a couple month or so, I have a dog he is my baby considering I can't have children without medical stuff and he stops me doing anything stupid just by being here as I know he would have nowhere to go and I never want him to end up in a home or with someone who hurts him and what not. I appreciate everything you said and th I will go back docs see what else they have to say thank you so much.

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    • Posted

      Hi amm finalluy been given an appt for may 17,it doesnt say what type of counselling it is xxxx i wasnt too keen on group things either but go once a week as im a carer for someone else who suffers mental illness too so it was daunting but ive met a small grp of lovely ppl xx
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    • Posted

      Mornin tezz. I have my doggie a staffie too shes my baby & relies on me for everything. Plus got my teenage daughter so wen im suicidal i still could never leave them so know how u feel. Let me know if the drs help tezz. Gud luck xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Tezz - sorry to read of your difficulties - there are many here who can understand and empathize with what you are feeling, so you are in the right place.

    You have not stated whether your previous situation was monitered by health care professionals and/or meds. Are you taking any form of meds now? Do you have a health care support team?

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    • Posted

      I was with CBT but no longer am, same with meds I was on them but after discovering what they did to me I'm no longer on them either. I do have a community link worker and I'm on benefits so I get help off my advisor there but not much I see my advisor every 3 week and my link worker never. I moved out in January and I've not had anything cooked unless I go mums which is now once a week for now

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  • Posted

    It is what happens. You start to get well and your wife of 30+ years takes a wrecking ball to first, your personality and then the whole of the previously apparently happy marriage. Beware getting well, there may be people who'd rather you sick.

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