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Instead of asking for help here due to an emotional problem, and getting sincere advice from people with empathy, what if, you went to a different forum. Any forum that offers advice for thousands of different things, things that could be of interest.
Talking with people that have similar problems can be helpful, but lets face it, what may work for others, may not work for you, so why not go somewhere else, away from this mind conditioned self destructive syndrome that sometimes takes control of our lives. Always thinking about this mind bluff is self defeating, I know.
I used to take my blood pressure multiple times a day, I was convinced my bp would blow a gasket, I worked myself up to such a degree that my son to me to the hospital. They kept me there until my bp stabelized, bottom line, my doctor told me, he had a patient that had a stroke because he kept taking his bp constantly, he worked himself up to a disastrous situation.
Maybe the same is happening here, thinking about disaster, when none exist, so, what if?
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