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what in the world is happening to me?

Posted , 3 users are following.

ryuto21634
ryuto21634

Hey everyone, I'm new here, so, please, take good care of me :-)

If you've looked into this topic, thank you! I'm about to write about my experiences, so, if you have some free time, please read and give me an advice. 

I don't know what's happening anymore, I've done some research and my symptoms vary from low self-esteem to anxiety or depression, some websites even say it's the same thing.. that's why I'm confused.

My condition : overweight, low self-esteem, not employed (quit cause of my "anxiety) and a stressful life in general. 

Now, I know all this can cause anxiety, but I'm not sure if it's cause of anxiety or low self-esteem... does low-self esteem cause anxiety or the other way around? I guess either is true. 

I gew up in a stressful family, always problems etc... I've been overweight since childhood and developed low self-esteem. I was suffering alright, but it was not so bad till now.

My symptoms : worries, irrational fears, self-judgement, social withdrawal, panic, uneasiness, increased heartbeat, dizziness, loss of touch with reality to some extent, headaches, fear of sicknes (which actually makes me sick again and again), feel like throwing up when I overdo myself physically or emotinally... It wasn't physical up till now, but now I have headaches, get tired easily and when I'm in a stressful situation, it feels like I'm about to pass out (at times), my body goes numb and stuff like that... strong emotions make me feel VERY sick, hell, even good emotions, damn it ! 

Is this anxiety? according to the internet, it is... so what do I do now? 

Fix my self-esteem and lose weight I guess, will that help?

And in general, is anxiety developed through stressful life? 

How do I solve it? 

I feel I'm so wrong, makes me wanna turn off my feelings forever..

I'm tough and manly on the surface but on the inside, I'm so fragile, I break down at every little stressful situation, but I never show it..

I wanna know what living feels like, I haven't experienced anything good for a while...

How do I improve?

Sorry for the long read & poor English.

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Akstout99
    Akstout99 ryuto21634

    Posted

    I have suffered from anxiety for many years off and on . I think you should start with some counseling . I think that helped me the most . Talking to someone who can listen without judgement and help you sort through your feelings helps a lot . Sometimes medication is needed and together you can decide what's best for you . Counseling helped me see that my worries about my health was almost always way out of proportion and over exaggerated . Talking helps because you feel alone when your suffering anxiety and it's embarassing to say what your feeling but your not alone a lot of people suffer every day . We don't have to suffer though . We can win this battle . Find a good physcogist and or councelour and start there with talking about your feelings . It helps a lot .
    • ryuto21634
      ryuto21634 Akstout99

      Posted

      Thank you for the reply. I do talk with my friend, plus, I have a psycholigist on facebook who helps a lot. It's nice to share what you're going through, but doesn't seem to help a lot. I guess I'll have to start changing my mind, erasing everything negative and planting positive. If that doesn't help, I don't know what will.
  • Ange1a
    Ange1a ryuto21634

    Posted

    Hi there!

    Firstly (& I hope you don't think I'm being patronising, because I don't mean it that way), but well done for posting!!! With everything you are feeling that must have taken a lot to put all that out there to strangers, so very well done! biggrin

    It sounds to me (as a layperson), that you are suffering from some kind of depression / anxiety. I would suggest going to your doctor and maybe seeking some counselling. I know people have differing views on cousellors, but I found them very helpful. It actually helped for me to talk to a stranger, who was paid to listen to my problems. (They have an incentive to sit there, listen and help). Plus they've heard so many things in their line of work, nothing much phases them!

    They can help you break down why it is that you havve self-esteem issues and try and get to the source of the problem. It really surprised me as when I got to the nitty-gritty of my issues, the catalyst wasn't always what I had thought it was!

    If you are not happy in yourself, then doing things to change that may well help... But make sure you are genuinely doing it to make yourself happy, not to do what you feel society feels you should do (if that makes sense?!) As that won't help you. 

    If you feel that you haven't lived and want to do things in life that you haven't dared before now, then right them down and put a plan in place to do them. (If you don't feel capable of doing them at the moment, then you can start putting plans in place to help you achieve them). 

    If you feel brave enough, you could post them on this thread. (Sometimes announcing these sorts of things out in the open, to others and putting them on paper (so to speak!) can help you to push yourself to do them, But obviously only do what you feel comfortable with doing. 

    Otherwise, write a list for yourself. Pin it somewhere and read it daily. Maybve if you start doing some of these things, or putting plans in place to do them, you may start to feel life is going more your way? 

    Good luck. 

    • Ange1a
      Ange1a

      Posted

      Sorry - my spelling in that posting was awful!!!
    • ryuto21634
      ryuto21634 Ange1a

      Posted

      Thanks a lot for the reply, it actually made me happy! smile

      I'm very self-conscious, I have a general idea of where my anxiety came from, but I have times when I'm too anxious to even think about this. One of those times was yesterday when I posted my problems here. 

      Yeah, consueling may help, but I doubt I can hear anything new, I will give it a shot anyway. I'm not the type of person that curls up in the shell, I wanna get rid of this as soon as possible.

      I'm writing down my plan of action right now, I know it's gonna be hell, but have to do it anyway...

      For the next 30 days I will do my best to:

      1. Lose weight trough exercise and diet

      2. Improve self-esteem through positive self-talk

      3. Build my way up to successful life (financially)

      It kinda energizes me to put it all out like this, haha

       

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