What is wrong with me?

Posted , 7 users are following.

It's been 6 years since my divorce finalised, I know she's moved on because she's getting re-married (I found out unintentionally through a find who is on Facebook, although I am not) and while I have moved on from her I STILL find it hard to interact with women, am I seriously that damaged that I'll never be able to interact again? The fear of rejection stops me even talking to someone, I've been out tonight with an old friend and all I can do is sit at my table, stare and comment how many beautiful women there are around me, I have had zero interaction as I have zero confidence in myself and have done for some time, what can I do to change this?

1 like, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Give it time, time heals all wounds. And divorce causes deep wounds. I've been there.

    You'll find your stride when you're ready-and not before. Trust me.

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  • Posted

    Hi there, I have one question for you: we're you like this when you first met your ex-wife?

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  • Posted

    The fact that you're looking at other women is a good sign, you take all the time you need, who cares who thinks any different, it's how you feel not anyone else. Just enjoy your freedom for a bit and enjoy not being involved in your last relationship. I'm not being rude as I don't know about your last relationship but if it broke down something went wrong. Good luck, hopefully it will all work out.

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  • Posted

    Hi,I’m going through a divorce at the moment he has moved on but I feel

    Like you I’m stuck in this rut I want to move on but I’m scared I feel there is no one out there for me I wish you the best of luck x

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  • Posted

    Some pains are lived with...similar to arthritis. That means you were truley "vested" in that relationship.

    Realize that most women are only looking for a man that's genuine. Just be you.

    Also, the absolute best way to "fix" this is to serve. Once you start volunteering at a church or etc...things change...you'll find meeting n talking to women just starts to happen.

    Honestly

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  • Posted

    Hi Jc-316 - sorry to read you are suffering. You state you "have always been like this." I would suggest you have low self esteem. Where would that have come from? Did you have a difficult childhood? Have you ever sought help for depression? Also, did you grieve your divorce sufficiently? Why not make an appointment with the doc to discuss what you are feeling. Don't sit around waiting for things to "get better." Time to act, understand what you are feeling and take the steps to deal with it. She's moved on, now it's your turn. And don't be embarrassed - these feelings are common in men - we just don't hear about it because of the fallacy that "real" men don't cry. Real men accept they have emotions and acknowledge them. Other men just get angry and lash out creating more pain and further difficulties for themselves and others.

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    • Posted

      Hi wayne1962, I definitely have low self esteem and have done as long as I can remember. I'm not sure where it's come from though; I had a great childhood with a loving and supportive family, I've just never seen myself as anything special and always thought other people are better than me so why would someone settle for me?

      I've been through a number of counselling sessions when I first got divorced which helped me a lot, been on and off antidepressants and antianxiety medications and I have moved on, a mourned it like I would a death and cried more times than I thought I could, it's just a shock to the system when I see how much she's moved on compared to me and thinking how happy she is without me when 6 years ago we were talking about starting a family.

      I'm tired of being lonely and I have been on dates that have never led anywhere, I'm not the kind to have a one night stand, I just want what I had before but I'm scared the same will happen again.

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