What’s worse... alcoholism OR depression/anxiety

Posted , 8 users are following.

just curious on everybodys thoughts.... along with dealing with my depression/anxiety im dealing with a husband whos an acoholic.... my mother in law seems to think theyre the same... both a disease... BUT I SAID THATS NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.... alcoholics can get rid of that "disease" ... he can get help and be alcoholic free and go on about his life and heal from that.... I CANT... i can cover it up with drugs or see a therapist to help cope but its not gone... i dont know of any cure.... how does she think theyre the same... i dont choose to have this.... he did when he started to realize it was an issue.... they see me and dont see anything wrong because i get up and live life even if i have these ugly horrible things wrong... it just makes me so angry because you know when youre gonna get addicted to something dont do it... i can take xanax to help with my anxiety but i only take if its that bad so i dont get addicted ... idk... maybe im just fed up with it all... i look at him and have so much hate cause even tho i know its not easy to quit but if you realllyyyt want too you can... .. i wish it was that easy for those of us qith depresion/anxiety or anything you cant get rid of

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear Nicole,

    I have been there,when it comes to excess alcohol, but my circumstances were slightly different,as i was useing it to mask out the pain of depression.

    obviously it probably made the situation worse,but i continued to do it anyway.

    When i eventually got as near as better,the drinking stopped.A non_depressive alcoholic is different,they enjoy the addictive way alcohol gives them the buzz.

    You need to somehow get some intervention by any means possible,sometimes friends and family will help,but they must be forceful.

    As for yourself, i can only suggest that if you are getting nowhere with doctors/medication,i would try' time to talk'.

    which is still nhs,but give a broader approach to situations.

    Hope this helps,if you want to contact me,feel freel.Remember i have been there.!!!

    Best wishes,Richard

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  • Posted

    hi,I too have depression and anxiety and my treatment that is the only one that works is ect and I too also am a alcoholic but been sober for 19 yrs.Just because I don't drink today does not mean it controls me anymore.I wish you luck,it's not easy to live today but I still move forward but one day at a time.

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  • Posted

    maybe if you could start with your husbands alcoholism , then he might be able to express love to you. and that might be what is depressing you. lack of a loving home life. The dysfunction in your family needs help. did you ever read the book about "sanity madness and the family" and how if one family member makes a positive change then all the family is affected.

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  • Posted

    I wouldn't underestimate alcoholism. You wrote that your husband can get help and be alcohol free - well, this is easier said than done. Equally we can say that you can get help, start treatment, and be depression free. I hope you see the logic here - there is no point in wondering whose condition is worse, or in playing the blame game and finding justifications for own unhappiness.

    It is possible that your depression is a reaction to your husband's alcohol problem. However, equally his alcoholism can be caused by your depression. You haven't provided enough information to tell exactly.

    Looking from a distance it is clear that both of you need help. An initial solution could be counselling. Although you're right when saying that Xanax is not the answer, there are other medications out there that could help with your depression and anxiety. Contemporary antidepressants are non-addictive and can work miracles in people who really need them.

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  • Posted

    Hi Nicole - alcoholism is considered a disease. An alcoholic, unlike a drunk, cannot function without a drink. It is hard work for them to stay clear of the bottle, takes incredible willpower, and they have to deal with that one day at a time. Difficult when alcohol is freely advertised all over the show and our society ties it with celebration.

    Depression is also a disease, one that we don't ask for and one which is very complicated. Your situation sounds toxic, and I can just feel your despondency over being dismissed by your mother-in-law who is being ignorant.

    Will your husband seek treatment if you are there to support him? His alcoholism is not doubt an element of your depression. Use that hate you are feeling to lay down boundaries and a new law. If he is non-compliant, consider other avenues in your life, like time out. Check out all the possibilities and plan how you would achieve them - you don't have to go through with it but it can be soothing to know they are there.

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