What's wrong with me?

Posted , 5 users are following.

I'm 17yrs of age, please don't judge my age on how I'm feeling because it isn't that. 

I have never been a confident child since I was little. I am mixed with Afro hair and where in from their isn't a lot of mixed race people, anyway all my life Iv been bullied for my differences and never been confident with myself. The last 9 months though it's getting to a point I can see a woman and burst into tears because she's pretty and I'm not, I constantly feel worthless and not good enough, not just from my appearance but because of my personality I feel I have an ugly personality. I'm quite a reserved person so I don't out myself to my family about my problems I keep really between me and my partner. 

I'm scared to go doctors because I think they will say it's nothing and even if it was it isn't the point. I'm suffering and hurting a lot and this is the first time Iv got so much off my chest :'( 

I want to be a secondary school teacher and I'm scared that if I go doctors that they will say I'm mental or something and it will affect my career in the future. 

I never feel good enough. I feel this body isn't for me, like I shouldn't be this size sad

I want help but how can I get it when my family don't know how much I'm suffering and I'm scared to go doctors. 

1 like, 4 replies

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    There is something wrong, depression is a very common illness. In fact around 1/4 of all people will experience some form of mental health issue in their lifetime. Winston Churchill along with many of the greats suffered with depression. Winston Churchill famously called his depression 'The Black Dog'. Go to see your doctor, as you sound like you could use some counselling. As for the racial bullying, counselling will help. The problem is with the people doing the bullying, they are ignorant and likely a little stupid. (A common asset of racists) Not everyone is like these people, but do not judge them, they probably live very sad lives.

    Your doctor may prescribe you antidepressants, but I recommend trying an hour of cardiovascular exercise every day, force yourself, set a timer-frequent exercise releases endorphines which boost mood. Also try to incorporate some dietry changes, eat healthily (Bananas are good for depression, but only eat one a day because they are high in potassium), get a blender and drink smoothies to help get your 5 a day. Buy high cocoa chocolate. Also look into the practices of medtation and mindfulness as they ahve very real, scientifically backed benefits. You can often access counselling for free http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/ -this might help.

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  • Posted

    Hey leahcharellexo. I won't judge your situaton based on your age as i know when i was a teenager how incredibly frustrating it was. I have terrible self image to so i'm being a little hypocritical here, sorry.

    Firstly i want to say that you should never ever feel bad about yourself because of your appearance no matter what it's about. How you look doesn't in any way make you better or worse than someone else, but sadly, society falsly tells us that it does. I'm so sorry that you got bullied for being mixed race and having Afro hair, that is utterly despicable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being mixed race, or any race for that matter! Anyone who tells you otherwise is ignorant and bigoted and you should never listen to these people. We're just people, who cares how our hair or skin differs!? It's such a ridiculous thing for people to judge others on.

    Your lack of confidence is only a result of these horrible people, it doesn't reflect the facts about you. And i generally find that we are not the best at deciding whether we're pretty or not. In fact, i don't know any girls who think they're pretty. And attractiveness is completely subjective anyway. I bet your partner doesn't think you're ugly. Think about it, they chose you, the way you are, above other people so there must be something good about you! smile Why do you think you have an ugly personality? You don't seem like you do at all.

    My experience with doctors wasn't great, but they definitely do help a lot of people. Therapy is really what i'd recommend, generally talking about problems helps you see them in a different light and work out how to tackle them. Plus, it's lovely to get things off your chest and know someone is on your side. 

    I do think you should talk to your family, as they can't help if they don't know. And i bet they wouldn't want you suffering in silence, but obviously it's your situation and i don't know all of it, so it's your decision.

    As for the teacher thing, i don't think it would be a problem, so so so many people suffer from low self image, dpression, anxiety etc. There must be plenty of teachers who suffer from these. But maybe look it up online just in case?

    Please just don't let what a few horrible idiots said affect how you view yourself, you're worth so much more than that!

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  • Posted

    Dear leah,

    Please, please go and see your doctor and explain just how unhappy and lost you

    Are feeling, I am sure that there is no way possible that you are ugly in either YOUR

    LOOKS OR PERSONALITY.. you doctor will understand and will take your problem

    Seriously... many young adults feel very insecure, I have three sons who feel very

    Similar to you..I am also sure that your parents, family and friends will be most

    Upset that they could not support you when you needed them to.. you really can

    Tell mums and dads anything, we are understanding and unshockable.... you

    Can make you future so bright and have the career that you wish if you have some

    Help to feel better about yourself... every single person has some special quality

    That makes them unique..

    Please go and ask for some help, it maybe counselling or mild antidepressants,

    Just to be able to open up will make you feel so much better......I truly wish you all

    The good luck and happiness you deserve...sincerest wishes, DEIRDRE xx

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  • Posted

    Hi iam sorry you feel so sad and lost in yourself please look into that mirror and actually tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with your self, my father made me do this many a time to actually will yourself to be a strong minded person and also that you have to really believe that you love yourself, you have to believe in yourself.

    Also you do need help and support from your family and friends, also as mentioned you should see a Doctor to get the extra support for you and Pease of mind.

    Also get more involved in any groups that take you elsewhere, I learned ballrooms dancing at 14yrs got envoled in the scouts also joined up in the Air Cadets and played a lot of various sports, yes some of it was hard but I tried my best and ending up enjoying myself plus make friends, but also I learned how to teach and control on my comrades.

    I am sure with help you can and will change and reinforced your Life.

    All the best Alexander.

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