1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

What should I do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Pirouette
Pirouette

My boyfriend had sex yesterday with someone who had sex with someone who had sex with someone with genital HVS 1. That's a lot of people in a chain, but I am pretty sure all of those encounters were unprotected, and that a few of those steps in the chain had sex with each other in multiple orders. Anyway, I'm concerned about contracting it as well, especially since his hygiene could be better and seems to frequently cause infections for me (not an issue I ever had with previous partners). I don't want to suddenly stop having sex, or insist he start using condoms again after years of being monogomous and not needing them, or suggesting we get tested together again, because I don't want him to feel guilty about having sex outside our relationship. Honestly, I don't care about that at all. I just don't want to catch anything. His anxiety is pretty severe though, so I know he is going to beat himself up over something that is not a big deal. What should I do? My chances are pretty slim of catching it right? Should I just pretend it never happened and get tested every couple of months to be safe?

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Pirouette

    Posted

    The odds for Type 1 are pretty much nil unless your bf gets it orally and gives you oral sex, but your odds of catching other actual STDs are high. Frankly, you ought to be very concerned if you are in an open relationship and he is not using condoms with anyone. Recipe for disaster.
  • sarah42363
    sarah42363 Pirouette

    Posted

    Definitely agree with user. Hsv-1 is not "as easily" catchable but then with him having so many sexual encounters with other women there's way more other diseases that can be spread. You should both get checked and maybe advise him to start using condoms as safety for the both of you.
  • Pirouette
    Pirouette

    Posted

    This isn't something he usually does, we have been monogomous for years, so we stopped using protection. This was an isolated incident when with a group of people that have pretty much all had sex with each other at various points in time. There was oral sex, I know that much for sure. I agree with you guys, he needs to be using protection if he is doing anything with anyone. I haven't had sex with him since this incident. I am very concerned. I don't care if this is a once-in-five-years type thing, that one time is all it takes. Maybe I should just suggest we both get tested again since it has been a while since we were tested anyway? I'm just worried that it would be too soon to show up.
    • sarah42363
      sarah42363 Pirouette

      Posted

      There's 2 types of testing lgG and lgM one shows up for an active virus or recent infection. The other one shows if the virus is there and not just active. It's never "too soon" now with advanced medical technology definitely go get tested for the safety of you both
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus sarah42363

      Posted

      IgM is unreliable and not recommended for herpes. Even the CDC advises against it. Too many false results; contrary to what people think, it does not establish recency; and it's not type-specific. IgG or swab tests only.
  • Tbaby91
    Tbaby91 Pirouette

    Posted

    Both of u guys need to be tested asap n to make sure u guys areare safe it's not ffin having thid hsv I had it for 4 months now n just can't get a break from a breakout down there! So pls go get tested to be on the safe sideside until then dont have sex or use rubbers till your results come in!
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.