What will you tell your daughter about perimenopause?

Posted , 8 users are following.

I never had anyone to tell me about the horrors of perimenopause before it hit me. My daughters have witnessed my ongoing struggle, so I believe they will be as prepared as you can possibly be. I'm just wondering if mothers are hiding their symptoms from their daughters since the media treats menopause like a shameful event. 

0 likes, 24 replies

24 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Either that or it's just a selfish thing. In my case, I believe it's a selfish thing because my family has the attitude "just wait til you go through it you'll see" and not tell you anything.
    • Posted

      I will let my daughters know everything I can think of because I wouldn't want them to have the fear and anxieties that come with all of this.
    • Posted

      me too! 20 years ago, my motto was, "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it" Then, 4 kids and homeschooling later, it changed into, "This too shall pass. "  lol  well, since peri hit 7-8 years ago  it's now, "Expect the worst, but hope for the best!" 
  • Posted

    I tell my daughter, why hide it away . I was 31 when my mother died ,I had no idea what was happening ,scared the life out of me ,palpatations, anxiety . This was 20 yrs ago ,my daughter recalls how I was . So we talk freely how it should be ,HRT ,natural products ,you name it its talked about ,Im we'll post meno ,but still get issues, we talk about these to post meno , I've given her books etc . It's never been to scare, what mum would do that , but to educate her on things pre peri  we no longer live in our grandmothers day when it was a taboo subject . Go tell your daughters few years prior . Make sure they keep Pap smears up to date ,never miss them . 

       This is my opinion to daughters and peri . Never let my daughter be fearful if I weren't here to talk to and ask how my time was . Most daughters follow the mother . 

  • Posted

    Hi MoodyNoire... I don't have children, but as a daughter, my mother shared every aspect of her menopausal experience with me and my sister and has always been helpful about answering questions.  This is especially comforting now that I am having an extremely difficult time with perimenopause and will soon have surgery to have an ovary and mass removed.  I encourage mothers to share as much about this as possible with your daughters because having that knowledge can be incredibly important when they get to these years in life.

    Warm regards,

    Elizabeth

    • Posted

      It must be so comforting to have had a loved one to help you. I would have loved to have had that. There was no one that I knew that would even acknowledge they had any type of experience with it. ..wait, there was one... my ! my mother in law told me her mom told her that some women just went crazy during the change! omg, that helped! Well,  I was terrified and had to resort to the library for information.But, that's why I also encourage women to talk about peri and menopause
    • Posted

      I see what you mean, and in my experience, it's much worse than "just going crazy"... that is definitely not helpful.  My mom had debilitating panic attacks so bad that she could not stay home alone and sometimes could not drive a car, and I received confirmation from a doctor that I was experiencing peri after I sought help following two days of panic attacks.  I do hope for you and for all women that we can open up and share about peri and menopause.  It can be terrifying, to say the least.  Thank you for introducing this topic.
    • Posted

      I guess there's so much shame associated with any kind of mental health issue like panic attacks, fatigue, and depression. People just look at you and think that you don't look sick. I believe with enough education about it, maybe there will be more compassion and understanding for those that suffer with it.
    • Posted

      Exactly!  Education is the key.  I'm grateful for places like this forum where we can talk about it.
  • Posted

    I am adopted and always asked family medical history (which I am slowly working on discovering).

    I will share everything my 3 daughters want to know, and at the moment starting to document things that are happedning with my health. It will be a most humerous story that's for suresmile

    My girls all know how their deliveries went - if fact my eldest joined my huband and I at the delivery of her little sister - she was 16 at the time. As I have easy 4 hour average births, thought it may be nice to have her there also. They share such a special bond because of this - which is beautiful. The middle child never misses out (despite what she may say) she is so entirely loved also. So lucky to have our 3 girls. We share most topics and feel it has made us all very close and they are most informed when it comes to their bodies (and minds). Just my thoughts.

    Love to you all x

    Loui 

    • Posted

      Rhino2015, you sound like a wonderful mother! I think it's great to have a journal of events to share too.I wish I had the internet resources we have now back when my "journey" began. It would have been a comfort to know I wasn't all alone and that I wasn't going insane! lol
    • Posted

      Your daughters are lucky to have such a great mom!
  • Posted

    Hi,

    My daughters don't seem to believe that all my symptoms over the last 10 years have been down to menopause.

    My doctor's told me all my symptoms were down to depression and that's what my kids think.

    My eldest is only 6 years away from the age mine started, I do hope for her sake that she goes through it with no problems like most of the other women in my family (mum and sister didn't seem to even notice) as she had twin boys last year and they are going to keep her busy a few years.

    • Posted

      I guess it may sound a little far fetched to some that hormones can cause so much suffering. But, I always tell people that if female hormones can make a man look like a woman, now that's pretty powerful! lol But, sadly most people have to experience something before they really understand. I'm like you, I don't want anyone to have to go through this.
  • Posted

    My daughters are quite young so we are only just starting to talk about periods and getting their heads around the idea of puberty - it doesn't seem fair to start freaking them out about how it all ends before it's even started!!!! But it's a good question, and I hope that other opportunities will arise to talk about it with them when they are older. As they are 35 or so years away from peri though, I most sincerely hope that  by then it will be better understood by everyone!!!
    • Posted

      oh yes, it could be quite scary if introduced too early. I just answer my girls if they ask questions about my symptoms with remarks like, well, when you get to my age, sometimes you feel more tired, or get headaches, etc.
    • Posted

      Yes way too young for them to know too much but just a touch of what is happening in your life is important too. They make freak out less than you think - it's all in the way it is mentioned that is importantsmile
    • Posted

      exactly!!! yes, I just frame it as more of an age related thing, rather than related to our other conversations about puberty!!!
    • Posted

      Yes, and they will absorb the information more easily, know more about treatments and remedies, and possibly (as they get older) be able to help others understand.

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.