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My son was found dead on the 12th of September, 2017. He committed suicide by hanging. He was 14 years, 11 months and eight days old. He did this while i was eight hundred miles away on business. He was at home with his step mom and his two siblings and step sister. Best we can tell he got up about 4am and went out to my barn and hung himself. My wife, his step mom found him about 630am, resuscitation was futile. I have been tirelessly trying to figure out why and have come up with no answers. I attempted to start working again however it is hard to take anything serious. In other words my level of giving a f**k is not registering at all. I thought time might help however it seems to be hurting more as it is carrying me further from my son. I can't commit suicide. The problem is, i want to die. I can't wait to die.
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