While on Mirtazapine my partner has rage and wants to kill

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My partner partner has been on Mirtazapine a couple of times and each time he becomes a very easily agitated person. But blames everyone else. He will be so very angry about even having to step slightly to one side to walk past each other. He clenches is fist in anger often. He shoves me with his fist. He tells me he will kill his neighbour and he will sit out the front waiting to be provoked. Recently he mumbled in his half asleep state about killing me and having to deal with my body. He hates me again and won't see me now, which I just to accept. I know there's a nice genuine person under it all. But I am too frightened to persist with him anymore. I think these meds are hard wiring him into too much of a mess and there's just no turning back. He mixes his meds with heavy alcohol abuse and has dementia too. I'm so sad that he is lost and I can't do anything about it. He's so angry with so many people, including me, that I'm not authorised to talk with his doctor anymore. He was a different person on other meds, but he is frightening on Mirtazapine. When I did previously speak with his doctors with him, he told his doctors that other people where aggressive towards him and that's why he's so angry, his Psych doesn't believe that it's the other way around. He's the one that upsets and is nasty to those around him. But it's just gone too far. I don't believe I'm safe anymore and he won't believe that Mertazapine is the problem. He is adamant it's everyone around him that's the problem. I have lost him...

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  • Posted

    Hiya.... where are you? UK or elsewhere?
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  • Posted

    Hi cherry

    my heart goes out to you. This happened to me on mirtazipine in the first few weeks of taking it. I cannot up my dose as the rage will instantly appear. I have always been placid so this side effect was extremely alarming. His psychiatrist should have looked I to this side effect. A simple on line search eg. Mirtazipine/rage would have given him a factual insight.

    That being said, I am worried about you and your safety. I think it may be wise to distance yourself from him as it is clear that he is hanging on to a lot of anger whichcan and is placing you in a dangerous position. He needs to get an urgent meds review as he clearly isn't functioning very well at the moment. The alcohol on top is like adding the match to the fire.

    I am sure he is a lovely chap when he is well, but you cannot hang on to that feeling right now. Please don't remain somewhere where you feel unsafe. Can you speak freely and in confidence to any of his family members? Maybe they can convince him to get help.

    In the meantime please don't remain in this situation.

    God bless ♥

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    • Posted

      Thanks Lorraine. My partner used to be very powerful in his job and work in law enforcement. He worked the courts for 20 years. So he is Very good at convincing others of anything he says. They actually believe I am the one violent to him, which is farsicle. I have people who are willing to give me character references to help. But the problem is, he believes his own stories. His memories of the past are combining with his current memories. The combination of dementia as well, is a big mess. He also has black outs from drinking. Your advice to distance myself seems to be the only option now. I have persisted for a long time with very erratic behaviour and several violent incidences. I have had several good behaviour orders against him, which he has a history of breaching, he has no respect for State police, as he worked above them. But more recently I had to get him breached formally, as I was losing my health from 100s of breaches that I didn't report. So now he seems to be afraid to come to where I live now, as he knows if he's caught breaching again, he's likely to go to jail. But he has ignored this in the past. So yes I am uncomfortable where I am. The current order against him ends later this year, so I am planning to relocate, as I fully expect him to turn up one minute past midnight when he legally can, if not before. He ends up begging to see me after he gets into a fight. He seems to truely believe other people attack him. But I now know otherwise. I'm so sad that he is determined to return to and continue taking the Mertazapine. He can't see what's happening to him. Yes the more I see others effects with anger and rage and how extreme it felt on this med, the more I realise I have to let him go. Thanks for your advice and I hope you can find a way that works better for you. Life is not perfect and never will be. We just want to do the best we can. smile
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