Who am i kidding :-(
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Excuse me if i sound like i am moaning for Britain, but thats the problem, just a bit of a moaner or something more, i dont know. Well, i think i do know, cant quite shake these nasty feelings i have, had it for months, but its nothing new as a few times in my life i have been on antidepression tabs. I spoke with doc a month ago, she suggested tabs again, felt so ill the last time i was on them. My moods are awful, also exhausted beyond words, very busy mum of many kids and busy wife too. But whats really dragging me down in paranoia, i feel that folk are talking about me, even though they arent. Strange scenerios crop up in my head, horrible things , stupid things, and i worry soooooo much about them that i almost convince myself that its real. Seem to be forever beating myself up. As my title suggests, i smile and chat and tend to be a shoulder to cry on, i can be listening to someones tiny problem and at the same time be thinking 'if u knew what was in my mind, then u would be worried'. I dont drink much or do drugs of any kind, live quite a sensible boring life. My memory is horrendoues, have even broken down in tears on the phone when the bank asked me for my address and i couldnt remember, i had to hang up in shame. As i said, its the paranoia thats really taking over. And if i get something stupid in my head like, oh the washing machine is on, and if i'm not at home, a sceneario of 'omg, what if it blows up' will start to pester me, to the point of having to return home. Utterly fed up with my head working overtime, i cannot switch it off.
0 likes, 6 replies
julie1111 Tilly4444
Posted
julie x
Tilly4444 julie1111
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julie1111 Tilly4444
Posted
Tilly4444 julie1111
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julie1111 Tilly4444
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sarah86347 Tilly4444
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Regardless of whether the washer is on or off, whather it could blow up or not. This is a thought that you can choose to pay attention to or not.
By giving it your attention by worrying about it and going home you are creating a situation where thoughts become something scarier than just thoughts.
A way of testing this would be to not go home and check the washer. Stay wherever you are and 'test' this fear. Return home when you planned to and you will see that the washing machine has not blown up. This will teach you that thoughts are just thoughts and do not neccesarily show the true reality of a situation.
Hope this helps x