Why?????

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After my dramatic almost disasterous Sunday last weekend, I tried very hard to pick myself up went to work all week, tried very hard to be positive, even went out with my work colleagues on Friday night ten pin bowling and actually enjoyed it. Kept being positive today, arranged a walk out with a friend in the snow, very refreshing and stopped at a  cafe had a lovely piece of chocolate cake. Came home thought I'd better phone my mother in law as hadn't spoken to her since christmas day. Then bad news my late husbands brother is to have a heart bypass in the next couple of weeks. My evening has now come crashing down to the point of wanting to destroy things again. Why do I go from extremes so quickly?? I was going to watch a chick flick this evening but I will have to calm down before I can. Life is absolutely s***. I try so hard then get kicked right down again and again and again. What is the point in keep trying????

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    I just want to get drunk and forget everything............
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    • Posted

      😰 so sorry to hear this....I can relate 100% it's a crap feeling but try to keep it in ur head u were able to feel good before the news so u will get that feeling again 😀
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    • Posted

      But this was the start of my late husbands health deteriating till he died. It just seems to be one thing after another. I try so hard to pick myself up but I seem to come crashing down so low everytime until I end up doing something drastic which frightens me cos each time it gets closer and closer to the end...
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    • Posted

      Maybe speak to ur gp I'm sure they can recommend something to help stop the negative thinking.....have u tried mindfullness I did a few classes and found them great they taught me to live in the moment and turn off head chatter etc.... If u go to tube and search they will have lots on there...also search meditation to relax and take some time to yourself and try to relax 
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    • Posted

      After last sunday I was referred to the mental health team they held a case conference yesterday so I have to wait the outcome of this, Seen my GP twice this week and a long talk with my councillor. anything else I would have difficulty concentrating on I'm afraid. I know some of these things could or would help me but I find it really hard to keep any focus. 
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    • Posted

      I'm going to make the effort and watch my chick flick hpefully it will help, thanks for your comments. x
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  • Posted

    Oh Tina so sorry,

    I hope this helps but what it is any shadow of a former trauma will bring back all those feelings that you had about your husband.  It is to do with our lymbic part of the brain - subsconsious.  It controls our emotions, feelings and responses.  It also controls our fight, flight or freeze.

    So that news would have brought every thing back.  If you tell yourself something more than four times that part of the brain stores it and believes it.  So if you tell yourself (which is reality thinking) which brings your short term part of the brain back in, that it isn't happening all over again - you can start to see things in a more positive way.  I know it isn't easy as it is so close to what happened.  It is something that takes a while and we are all work in progress.

    We go through extremes and is perfectly normal, we all do, in the counselling that I was trained we use what is called a faster scale and it shows exactly that, it is a self discovery about neuro chemistry, etc. etc.

    Life will get easier - and I so feel for you that you were stepping back out in life and then you got this.  My heart goes out to you.

    I can only assure you that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that like you I know how life can kick you down just when you don't need it.

    With all my love and big hugs as always.

    Mel Xx

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    • Posted

      Tina,

      Hope you enjoyed your chic flick and feeling better. 

      Forgot to say, and this is from personal experience, with each knock back, and with each time you get up, you will get stronger and with getting stronger the recovery time will be less.

      Mel Xx

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    • Posted

      Melanie

      The film was ok didn't find it that amusing it was The other woman with Cameron Diaz. It helped to pass the evening. Tried to keep busy today and stop thinking about last Sunday. Very up and down again today ok for a while then start crying not sure what about so make myself stop and find something else to do. Busy week at work next week not sure how I am going to cope will just have to wait and see I suppose. Thanks again Tina xx

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  • Posted

    Nerves are so raw when we're ill and any little thing can upset us.  Hearing that news of your brother in law is bound to have an impact.  Remember, you achieved so much in the week and am so glad you enjoyed yourself.  After the initial shock of the news, you'll find you'll be able to cope again.

    K xx

     

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