Why????????

Posted , 7 users are following.

Was speaking to my best friend last night who i thought would understand how i feel???

hmm how very wrong i was practically sent me on a downward spiral last night, cried for ages as i felt worthless and that i was not being listened too she made me feel like it was all in my head.

I really thought she would understand, how can someone who i thought was a friend be so cold!

Ugh feel so down now after trying to get her to understand!

I have a migraine and my eye lids are so puffy this morning it is unreal!

2 likes, 17 replies

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17 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Dawn,

    I am sorry you had that nasty experience. I have found that only those who have themselves suffered from depression have any understanding of it. I had no idea until I had depression. It is a serious ailment just as flu or measles can be serious and have their symtoms. Even with them, people who have not had similar ailments do not really manage to sympathise. 

    This is a good place to come for sharing experiences , sharing sympathy and getting encouragement. I do hope you are getting professional help. I have benefited hugely from medication and therapy..

    With my best wishes

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  • Posted

    Hi Dawn

    I am so sorry your friend upset you, I'm sure she did not intend to, just that people who haven't suffered have no idea!

    Have you a professional or expert you can talk to?

    I understand as going through it myself so I know how you feel, you had a bad day yesterday but they won't all be bad.

    Best Wishes, Nicki, xxx.

    (try tiger balm on your temples, neck and forehead for migraines and tension headaches, but wise to get this checked out by doc too, and keep hydrated and eat, I know it's hard, but you must look after yourself, you matter!)

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  • Posted

    Hi Dawn

    Sorry to hear about your experience. Sadly I've been through the same thing with my husband suggesting I should just snap out of my depression. Its taken me a long time to accept that this is an illness and hearing someone I'm so closee to say those words sent me deeper into depression last week. Luckily I had an appointment with my gp and he was brilliant. I've since spoken to my husband and explained how I felt and I think he understands. He also told me it was a lot to take in in one go the first time I tried to talk to him.

    Give your friend a few days and see if her attitude changes. She also may have not known how to handle the situation. I also found writing a letter to my husband explaining how I felt was a good way to let my feelings out. I never actually gave him the letter to read but it helped to get the words down.

    Best wishes Sara

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    • Posted

      Hi

      I journal almost daily if not twice a day if i need to this helps me vent and get everything out of my head, i guess some people just dont understand, plus she does not know the full history as my other friend mostly does.

      take care and thanks for the reply biggrin

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    • Posted

      Hi

      Yes you could be right there, i journal my thoughts also to get them down on paper and i re read them at a later date also. i find this helps immensly as others do not know what it is like unless they themselves have had depression.

      Thank you for your kind words also

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  • Posted

    i am experiencing the same problem with my friends since the death of my dad.  People say unintentionally the most thoughtless and insenstive things.

    I was advised by my pastor not to discuss my situtation with too many people because it can make me feel even worse.

    I don't know the circumstances of your situation, but will assume that your friend was well meaning but fell short in the translation.

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    • Posted

      Yeah, you have to pick a select group of people and only speak to them about it.  I could have avoided a lot of additional grief if I had not spoken to a lot of people about what I am going through.

      I have tried journaling but it hasnt helped me, but it has been recommend to me so many times I didn't want to stop entirely.

      I  using this forum as sort of an interactive journal where I also get much need support from others who understand.

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    • Posted

      Any type of journalling is good on a computer or on paper if it helps it is a great tool to use.

      I am lucky i have one amazing friend who helps me and she has anxiety too so knows how it feels.

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  • Posted

    dawn

    This is a problem is very common and it can make the sufferer very upset. All I can suggest is that you are selective who you tell.

    If you have been crying you will have a headache and your eyes puffy.

    Keep a hold

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Thanks Bob.

      I guess i just thought she would understand and crumbled when she didnt! i guess not everyone does but she is my best friend so that also let me down a bit.

      thanks

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    • Posted

      Hello Dawn

      In my case even my family looked on me as weak and not a man, it also caused my Sisters to show disrespect, and they just used my physical condition and associated depression as a sign of weakness as well. This eventually lead when my father died the chance or my mother to be even more toxic than she was when my father died.

      This has ended with possibly me being disinherited and me breaking up with family and started a new life where we can start a new life.

      My family knew my family and chatting classes eventually lead to me been medically retired nearly thirty years ago.

      That is why I say to keep your own conidence, and try and work out what the people are really like, possibly by sounding out first

      BOB

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