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Pretty much I feel like the topic of suicide or commiting suicide is..ok, you can hate me for this, but I feel like it is connected to a lot of pain and with having lived through bad things so I feel like it is more on the cool side. Now, I won't advice anyone to do it or myself, but whenever I feel overwhelmed the first thing I imagine is always jumping from my window or cutting my wrists, etc. and I actually feel kinda fascinated by the idea, but maybe not that much as to make a plan, etc. So I feel like doing it and it's like the people behind me will be like "Woah..she really killed herself?!" Maybe it is just the after effect of taking your own life, the attention after somebody is dead. I don't think there's sth very wrong with me, right? I mean I'm not seriously planning on commiting suicide, just feel as if it would be..a cool thing to do. I mean, I get this sounds wrong and..yeah, but sometimes when I am overwhelmed I get this urge to jump or to end it..it is not something constant, just happens any other day. So, any thoughts on why I am charmed by it and possibly ways I can uncharm myself?
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