Why am I feeling that way?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi everyone, my name is Peter. I don't really know how to start... But I've been feeling very very depressed lately to the point of committing suicide.

It started about a year and a half ago. At first, I was trying to fight it and I thought I succeeded, but then it came back even stronger, than before. Now, I am at the breaking point. I have been talking to a bunch of psychologists, but none of them help (To be honest, they make me feel even more agony). I don't really have friends to talk to about this. My parents aren't very understanding. They usually tell me to brush it off. 

The reason I titled this post, "Why am I feeling that way?" is because I don't get Why? Why am I actually feeling that way? I have everything anybody would want. I have a 3.97 GPA and transferring to really good schools right now. I try and work out, read, study and draw/paint everyday. My parents are loving and supporting of me. My manager thinks I am a great worker. So, why do I feel that way? I don't understand, I have everything, I am not sure what else do I want... The only reason I might think of why I am feeling that way is because I am still a virgin and haven't found the right person to do it with, but I don't know. Please help if you can... 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi peter56255

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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    • Posted

      Dear Peter,

      Looking at your message again it look as if you may be based in the USA. If this is the case, you can access help from the following:

      The Crisis Call Center on Phone: (800) 273-8255;

       Hopeline Network on Phone: (800) 422-HOPE (1-800-422-4673)

      and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline on Phone: (800) 273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

      If you are having any thoughts of self harm then please do reach out to one of these groups, who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

      Kindest regards

      Patient

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  • Posted

    Hulo Peter! i want to tell u sooo many things to try to change ur thoughts. U DO know why u r deppressed, u mention being a virgin. so what? that u havent found the right person to make love with is not a curse but a gift. i was 18 when i lost my virginity to a stranger, for peer pressure, how very cliche but very true. U want sex or being in love or what? do u feel unattractive, do u know what u actually desire in an intimate relationship? so many questions,!! if u wish to speak to me in private , let me know! in the meantime, carry on painting! i am an artist on hold as depression is taking over! i send u a masssssssive hug! ur friend, Lola.
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  • Posted

    Hey honey, you sound like such a sensitive guy. There is no time limit as to when you lose your virginity. I think the fact that you say you are waiting for the right person speaks volumes!it tells me you have high standards and would make a loyal partner. Beware, though honey. Do you think that your standards and expectations are a little too high? I'm only saying this because if you are waiting for the perfect partner then sorry to be the bearer of bad news but they don't exist! The human race is fundamentally flawed! Please forgive me if I have interpreted it wrong. You will meet someone one day and probably when you least expect it. It will happen I'm certain of that. When you meet the right person, making love with them will feel like the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. I read a theory someone that will said men enjoy intercourse purely for the act itself. The physical aspect of it. Mmn of course that is true to a certain extent, there is some element of truth in that! Whereas for women, it's the emotional side of being intimate that is more important to her. I believe that, for both men and women the physical and emotional side of lovemaking come into play. Especially, when "in love". I'm so sorry I got carried away. You're feeling depressed right now. My heart goes out to you. You say you have everything you could wish for in life but you feel something is missing... Or should I say someone is missing. Then you would feel that your life is complete. It would be the bees knees or "the icing on the cake! It will happen! It happens everyone else and you are no different. Right,! now for the advice. Number 1 stop looking and trying hard. 2 join a club or do something you enjoy. There are plenty of activities where you can mingle and meet new people. 3 try to stop obsessing about meeting someone and for now, just enjoy and embrace the things in life that bring you joy and happiness. Last but not least and actually this one should have been number one. Please, see your doctor because I understand it hard for you to appreciate those things. Please keep me posted. Hope you feel better soon honey. Donna xxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you very much for responding. Reading it helped me quiet a bit. I wouldn't say I have high standards -- I like all types of girls. Like you said, I feel that man in me, just wants to feel the feeling of the intercourse itself, but the emotional side tells me that there is more to it, than just pure physical feeling. I came close to intercourse once, with a girl that by all standards was considered to be "hot". However, I could not force myself into having intercourse with her, because something inside of me said that this is wrong, that we don't really know each other and I am doing it just because of pure pressure. I felt so disgusted after that encounter... I felt bad for not giving her enough, felt bad for being such an idiot and going through this hooking up thing, just because people told me I had to. 

      I want to find the right person and I know that the human race is flawed, I am not expecting to find the princess that will make me feel happy everyday, but sometimes I feel like that I am never going to find anybody, because girls don't like me. I don't know why... At first, I thought I was just ugly and that I don't have the physical attractiveness for a girl to like me, then I thought it might be my emotional side and that whenever I speak to a women, I feel like the tinniest thing in the world. Most of my acquaintances tell me that when a girl approaches me I always look directly into the ground and that this makes a girl feel unwanted...  

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  • Posted

    Hi peter it is amazing but what donna said is spot on, if that is the only reason you think is the problem, sometimes having everything going for us can still make us depressed, have panic attacks, and anxiety, it depends what type of person you are, and if you are shy then the thought of joining clubs or even meeting someone must horrify you, but then you said you work have a great job and even go to the gym, so to do all this you must have quite a bit of confidence, like donna said is there something about you , you do not like then that is a whole new ball game, if you want to know more about this contact me in the private messages, if you find it hard to talk about, i have years of experience on this, hope this helps
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