why do i feel so desparate?
Posted , 3 users are following.
Last week i had a couple of level days. The weekend was reasonable so why from Sunday night did it all go wrong (again). Monday at work was bearable. Last night wasn't tired so went to bed when sleepy - 2.30am. Did the same the night before. I don't see the point of going to bed when wide awake as that just frustrates me even more. Bloody brain would not switch off.
Woke up this morning, headache of 6 sodding days still there, body aching (contributory factor to all this) and i was tempted just to give up living. At least the pain would go away. Why am i putting myself through this. Were things really that bad before flu? At least i could function to a degree. Had to go to work or might have done something stupid. Haven't had these feelings since being on flu until now.
Cried when i realised what i was thinking. Suicide solves nothing. It's a selfish act and leaves misery behind but at the time it seemed the easy option.
Memory lasts on average for 10 minutes if i'm lucky, temper not much more. I'm totally the opposite of the person i used to be. Should call this the dracula drug. The only good emotion i have left is sense of humour, all the rest are negative.
It feels like my life is in soft focus - i can see and hear things but my brain is full of mush.
Sorry this is not a very jolly post but it's just how i feel. Everything is just such an effort. 7 weeks in. How much longer til i reap the benefits!? of flu.
2-4 weeks was the initial goal, then 6 weeks, then 8 and some say 3 months. It just seems to be getting further and further away and always out of reach.
Feel so desparate, help???? :cry:
0 likes, 17 replies
Guest
Posted
Please speak to us on here we are here for you.
Meganpooch
Posted
It's been a while since we spoke. Hope i have no more feelings like this morning. Don't know what causes these headaches..could be lack of caffiene but have been having the odd sneaky cuppa.
Praise indeed. Just wish i could post something positive. So here goes.
I change my job to a different floor tomorrow. I'll be seeing our in house counselling and support officer on Thursday and counselling proper starts Friday. Just hope one or all 3 of these things help in some way.
Sorry to post such a 'downer'. Things must improve soon. Glad to see you appear to be getting stronger.
Had a long chat to my 'cured sufferer' friend at work today. He summed it up very well. Some days you just exist he said, how true.
Sorry if your hope has been dented. Hopefully you'll sail through week 6-7 when you get there. Don't know what i'd do without you all. Thanks.
Guest
Posted
Good luck with the job move. I think it will be the tonic you need.
With help form your house counselling and support officer i expect you to be back on form by the weekend
Cheers MP Good luck
Meganpooch
Posted
Nicki_B
Posted
I think ever one things about suicide nearlly every day while they are on the first few weeks maybe even months who knows but keep in there. I know what it like with the head aches mine have been away for a few days now thank god but actually saying that now i have a little one but thinks thats because im tired as i didnt sleep a wink last nite.
Remember no wine while on flu naughty! hope you feel better tomorrow.
Good luck at work ok and let us know how you got on
Thinking of you
Nicki x
Guest
Posted
How you feeling now? I do hope you are feeling more positive! Your last posts really don't sound like you, you're usually so positive and have helped me a great deal. Thank you.
I do hope you're feeling better
Sam x
Nicki_B
Posted
Hope your feeling better today
Nicki x
Meganpooch
Posted
I've sent you a private message.
Don't think i've mentioned the new job though. The move has been postponed to tomorrow and different work will start on Monday. x
Nicki_B
Posted
Meganpooch
Posted
Can't send YOU a private message as you're not a member!!!
Sorry, no, still feeling like a zombie.
Lack of sleep caught up with me and irritating headache, now sinus migraine (but co-codamol actually seems to be working, bloody miracle!), has exhausted and drained me. That and working sort of full time. Roll on the counselling on Friday. This feeling can't last for ever. My oomph has temporarily gone on its holidays.
Thanks for thinking of me thou. Maybe tomorrow eh? x
SamB
Posted
I am am member but haven't a clue what my name is as a member. Think its SamB.
Sorry to hear you're still feeling like a zombie. Pleased something helped with the headache though, i must admit that when i've had a bad headache, usually once a month these days, i tend to take neurofen. I know you're not supposed to but i get them real bad and can't function. They're the only tablets that work. The pharmacist said it was okay to take them but stop if i get stomach pains. So far so good.
I do hope you're feeling better tomorrow and that the move goes well.
Been stuck in since Sunday, hate that, my eldest has chicken pox so can't really go anywhere, hoping for a trip out tomorrow before i go crazy.
Take care
Sam x
SamB
Posted
Meganpooch
Posted
As a prize i've sent you a private message too. Forgot to say...in my hard drugs cabinet...having had so many things go wrong with me over the years..i have prescription voltarol. Unfortunately this reacts with flu so will have to stick to 4 head recommended by Nicki B and good ol prescription co-codamol. x :wink:
Nicki_B
Posted
I know it will sound obvious but sleep will help.... duh i know we all can hardly sleep ha but if you can just go lay down you nvr know with all those tablets it may make you drowsy?
Hope to hear from you tomorrow
Nicki
Meganpooch
Posted
If only i lived near Glasgow but i couldn't be further away in Sussex. I've got a lovely park with a huge lake too. I walk round it every day (on my own, worse luck!)
Should be in bed but wide awake now. More drugs required methinks to knock my brain out. Migraine has gone. That's a first on day one. Headache has retreated back to usual place.
Hopefully with the work change tomorrow it will disappear. Current situation is aggravating it.
Sleep well and thanks for caring. xx :roll: