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Why do I feel so low & can't see past the negatives,suicidal thoughts etc

Posted , 3 users are following.

colin878
colin878

Hi

I'm new to this so please bear with me!I dabbled in recreational drugs on & off for a while over a period of maybe 8years(cocaine/ecstacy),drinking binges(although it had always been a strict weekend only policy).i come from a small town with little opportunity so there was nothing else to do really & my friends & I were wild!i left school at 16 & trained as a carpenter-held a job for 10 years-before being given the opportunity to live/work in Sweden-I took it & for 15months I didn't look back!i really calmed down,sorted myself out,got my own apartment,work 70% of the time & stopped binging so heavily to the point where I hardly drink at all.in the summer I was offered LSD for the 1st time at a party & I foolishly accepted it, not knowing i had been given far too many-this lead to me being in an absolute mess-the experience scared the life out of me-it still haunts me to this day!it took a few weeks to get my head back together,I haven't touched a drug since & have barely drank a thing except the odd Saturday night with my friend.everything was fine until September when severe anxiety set in,pannic attacks,palpitations & feelings of downright regret & fear. For the last 2weeks I have been thinking about suicide,it's driving me crazy inside as I have so much going well for me,I am home visiting family/friends for Christmas-I should be happy not feeling like this??i would really appreciate some advice,before anyone says 'it's your own fault' yes I know but I can honestly say I have changed my life for the better!thanks for reading Colin

4 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • eli_bird
    eli_bird colin878

    Posted

    Hi 

    ive just read your post but i dont have any advice on Drugs but from what i read it seems you are always ok until someone offers you then you just cant seem to say know.someone i know was given something which lead them to being more than a mess and sadly they are no longer with us.The panic attacks you can make yourself better with relaxation is the start meditation easier said than done i hear you say ,i know but you really dont have a choice but to help yourself,I have tablets from the doctor ive not taken as the relaxation and being hypmotised has really turned my life arround and will take the suicide thoughts out of your head,wish you Luck

  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate colin878

    Posted

    CBT is the one way to rid yourself of Anxiety. But medicine will in the meantime control it. You would need to tell your doctor your past just in case and prescribed medicine may make you worse.

    Nobody ( including you ) really know whats going on or whether it is or inst your past. But it best to be open and frank with a  medical practioner / doctor and get it nipped in the bud

  • eli_bird
    eli_bird colin878

    Posted

    thx Jimmy just never new what it was CBT but read up on it and it sounds good Colin
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