Why do I keep messing things up?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi, I can't remember feeling as sad & lonely as I do now. I'm almost at the end of my tether. I always end up ruining any & all meaningful relationships. An incident happened a couple of months ago when I had a nervous breakdown & my best friend, at the time, offered her support. I told her that I had feelings for her, but not in any way "inappropriate". I trusted her implicitly especially after she told me that she "doesn't judge her friends". However, she took it ALL out of context & has abandoned me. I guess I shouldn't feel so bad because a "true" friend wouldn't turn their back on me. But, I just feel like my whole world has fallen apart. I'm a 55 year old male & ought to be able to move on from this? But, truth is, after this my self esteem is shattered & I feel as though life just isn't worth living.

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  • Posted

    Hi, I'm pretty blunt on most things so im sorry if that's annoying in the reply. I've seen/ read a lot about depression through loneliness lately and last week whilst attending an appointment i overheard a couple of people talking about how their therapist had encouraged them to look into social meet ups, for example joining a walking group, book club at local library, etc.

    I wont lie, im quite the opposite to you. i prefer to be left alone however your email popped up and i felt like you just needed to be heard. Regarding relationships, well the problem is this. if you are looking for something in particular you are going to implement a lot on the other person and think about them where boundaries cross because you are comfy within that small circle. Maybe try expanding your social circle so everything doesnt become too intense with one friendship. If you're looking for a relationship then go out on dates dont ruin your friendships.

    Hope that makes some sense to you mate. Keep your chin up and give yourself a break, hang in there.


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  • Posted

    You said it. A true friend WOULDN'T do this this is disgusting. A true friend would stay by your side regardless, bear that in mind. Concentrate on the future, there might be something different on the horizon, i wish you all the luck!

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  • Posted

    hi PHILIP26. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling sad and alone. it sounds as though you have a lot of emotional things going on at the moment. May i ask if you have any hobbies, etc?

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    • Posted

      Hi Elle, no, don't have any hobbies to speak of. I have minor mobility issues (back & knee injuries), so it's difficult to do anything physical. I do diy & housework, if that counts?


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