WHY DO PEOPLE JUST ASSUME!?

Posted , 7 users are following.

Apologies in advance about this rant..

I have an anxiety disorder and have done for the past 5 years. I've had numerous CBT and counselling and medication. It get worse when I feel trapped or pressured or if I'm surrounded by people. I've currently been going to the mental health hospital as a day patient, because its been getting worse and I've been self harming and feeling suicidal. Now I mentioned to them that yes I was feeling particularly anxious and apprehensive about returning to uni for my final year. Now they think that that is all my anxiety is and as soon as I go back everything will be fine! Others think that I just lack confidence and that's why I'm anxious, when actually I'm just polite and not very assertive. Ive felt this way way before I thought about uni starting and during university time and just on a day to day basis!

How's anything supposed to get better if people don't listen sad

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Yes I agree with you. People in the mental health field need to listen and ask questions and remember that no two people are a like. One theory does not fit all. I've been in some sort of therapy for about forty years off and on because I wanted to work on getting well. Some were real good, some not my style.

    recently I just gave up and decided to like myself warts and all and don't feel the need to change. But it did help me very much to go and I avoided meds for about twenty years because of it

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  • Posted

    Deat Amy, you have nothing to apologise for. I'm afraid that our mental health professionals are not what they are cracked up to be. They lack the resources and the training. You may find one or two individuals who do actually listen and understand but they are the exception. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I have worked within the sector (I no longer do) and it is very disappointing. As a psychotherapist and a sufferer of anxiety as well I have seen both sides of this. However the good news is that you can cure yourself. You are not mentally ill. You are suffering from anxiety along with many thousands of other normal human beings, that's all. You do not lack confidence, it is part of the condition to feel so. In fact, there is absolutely nothing 'wrong' with you. It is just anxiety that you are experiencing. I'm sorry Amy but I have been called away at this moment and cannot carry on this post. However I promise you that I will get back to your post in the morning and tell you exactly how you can get out of the anxiety state that you are in. In the meantime, try not to worry. You will be perfectly OK. Try to get a good nights sleep and I will speak to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams xx
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  • Posted

    Hi Amy,

    I understand exactly what you mean.  You don't have to apologise for talking and letting things off your chest, it's not a rant.  I think it's easier for some people to latch on to a simple, straight-forward reason to explain why others are the way they are, hence why when you mention one thing once then this becomes, in their mind, the reason for ALL of your anxiety.  It isn't that simple, as you know yourself.  

    Some of the situations which I find the most difficult and stressful (the ones in which my anxiety reaches it's highest level - like a rocket through the roof!) are usually the ones that involve the people who are closest to me.  When asked by a friend if I'm 'alright' can be more harmful than it should.  I say things like 'I hate my job', they answer 'Well get another one'...I say that it's Uni work, etc...'Uch you'll do it no problem'.   My point is people like to try to see the easiest and most logical answer or solution, because it's a natural thing to do, but that doesn't help you and you go on having to repeat yourself and explain to the same person everytime they see you.  It gets to the point where you avoid or try to avoid these situations.  But one thing you should never do is be afraid to admit there is something wrong, or feel like you're being attention seeking.  Some people are like that and they usually don't really have anything much bothering them other than they want someone to notice them.  

    Anxiety stems from bad experiences  and means that future experiences seem worse than they are.  Feelings of dread and self-loathing come from depression caused by stress and anxiety (this is my experience) and the more people try to help they seem to pressure you more and make you worse.  

    The one thing that does help slowly and surely is talking, even just hearing yourself say the words is enough to make a small difference.  Taking each day at a time and small steps to begin with...just like a baby first born into the world it's a slow steady effort each day and one day you can look back and see how far you've come.

    Now that was a rant haha.  

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  • Posted

    I am interested in hearing what you think the reason for your anxiety is x 
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    • Posted

      To be honest Sarah I don't even know anymore. I've always felt nervous and uncomfortable around people since I can remember. Anxiety and panic attacks were kick started by the pressure i felt during sport. Now I get anxious in busy overwhelming places, one to one conversations, with my family, around food, going out, being ill.. just about everything! I think it also doesn't help that quite often I worry and get anxious about being anxious too.... So the short answer is I don't know, sorry x
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  • Posted

    Amy I would advise you go back to Uni. Anxiety is horrible and I know the feeling of been trapped even if its a one to one conversation I feel like I need to know answers straight away and my mind goes racing. Have you ever tried meds? You know that you have support around you and I recently joined up with a support group that has been great, ive met some new people and my confidence is getting better as we all talk about topics i can realte to. I think you will regret if you dont go back and its a great to have a degree for the future. 
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