Why don't people listen

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I had some CBT counselling earlier this year and after 4 sessions the person i was seeing decided to end the CBT as i was finding it hard to deal with it ( not very chatty until i feel at ease ) , not entirely her fault though she should had been a bit more understanding and i blame myself for letting her down , anyway that was then , i had always been told i could return for treatment of some sort and i was told that a different place could be arranged like my surgery as i knew there was no way i could return to the building where i went before , well it is well known that my depression went down hill rapidly so i recently approached Dorset Health Care asking them for help as i didn't know where to turn to , the place i went before just made my anxiety worse, they very kindly got in contact with a distant neighbouring town who are also part of the Mental Health Treatment programme to see what they could do , a lady there got back to me via phone ( i cannot talk on the phone unless it is family or friend ) , she explained that i could go there for treatment but i cannot afford travel coast ( about a hour travel ) so i explained that i couldn't talk on phone - my anxiety was getting up badly , was shaky , etc so she told me that she would email me back after she had had a chat with the person in charge of the programme here , told her that it should be on my record what happened last time , etc , so she said that she would see what they could do to help , anyway that was all sorted , and it was on my record that they would have to email me rather then phone . So that i thought would be okay , felt i could get the courage up when i got letter or email informing me of appointment . this afternoon i got a call - no number so i thought it might had been my surgery as i had been round there this morning to request a sick note and they were ringing me to say it was ready , but no it was what i assume a receptionist from the Mental health , etc place letting me know about an appointment for next week , so i tried telling the person that they were not supposed to ring me as it was on my record but she just ignored that by over speaking telling me about Wednesday , there i was saying that i cannot deal with this , still she ignored my speaking , then she told me that the appointment would be at a surgery that is not mine so then i tried to get her to understand that i could go to a place that i don't know and that it was supposed to be my surgery as i know that place i am okay in the there , still she spoked over me , basically it was either there or the actual place where i went before so i then tried to tell her that it is on my record that i cannot go there , my rant is why can't people pay attention to your record - read it , do what it says - says don't ring but email so do that !! , i am online a few times a day so i would had picked it up within minutes and i could had replied yes appointment is okay so please send out letter , that one phone call made me very shaky and cannot stop getting tearful and i had started the day okay for a change !

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  • Posted

    Hi Maria, sorry about the idiot woman, i understand where you are coming from as it was probably over the past few years i started using the phone and opening my mail, people often say it sounds ridiculous but i'm much more at home by myself lost in books or using the net which i'm glad because i would have never found out what was wrong with me. Had problem with some people and in the end i asked my dr to write a letter to the DWP explaining what was going on, if i don't know them i'll have trouble talking to them, especially if they p*ss me off or make me feel like rubbish for being ill, my advice is to ring your surgery up and talk to your Dr, explain that the woman was rude and didn't give you an inch of respect, i understand some places only have limited resources into what they can offer but at the end of the day you do have a 'preferred contact' noted on your records, they should respect that. Some people are ignorant as sin but not everybody, hang in there. Let me know how you get on. Nick.  
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    • Posted

      Thank you for your understanding , fortunately friend , family understand and i can chat with friends on phone likewise family and most people do understand but this woman was just the receptionist who obviously don't bother to read the information in front of them they just ring the mobile number and speak to you without hearing your concerns , i am a shy person where people who i don't know are concern and i do take time to feel at ease hence why the CBT ceased as the person who saw me didn't understand my needs ( find it easier to write down and work from there ) then later after i had to put forward a complaint ( have put it on here before the lady i saw put something that was untrue in the letter ceasing the appointments to my Doctor so had to fight to have it removed ) she had apparently said that she would had liked to have done more for me ., that is why i am concerned as to how this time it will turn out , they cannot recommend CBT as it din't work before so am worried as to what will be decided at thia assessment as i cannot make decision's myself where treatment is concern - muddleds my mind , will be seeing my Doctor a week after this forthcoming appointment , will speak to him then x
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    • Posted

      No problem. Tell me to shut up if i ask too much lol but can a family member or a friend go with you to these places as they realise how hard it is for you to attend? Do you know what chronic shyness is? And that anxiety can arise from it? Type chronic shyness into your search engine. Are you on anxiety medication, that also might be worth checking out. As for CBT wise, that's well, amazing actually, as they cannot do that, you need it and are entitled, good luck Maria keep fighting, let me know how you get on. Nick.
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    • Posted

      Have always been shy from little , any treatment i go to will be on my own as i am a private person and as my parents are elderly i don't want them any more worried about just how much i am struggling , they know enough likewise friends , the one friend who knows just how much i am finding life hard lives down in Cornwall and i live in Weymouth , she is the only person i would allow to accompany , that is why i text Mind and Samaritans rather then friends , and why i am happy to get other peoples views on here , and as i know my GP now i can freely chat to him about my concerns , take care
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  • Posted

    Hello, it saddens me to read this as I live in Dorset too, and my daughter is training to be a counsellor, and she would be very upset about this.  I saw quite a few counsellors in the past, and never got any satisfaction.  One would cancel appointments, and others found all sorts of siully (I thought) reasons why I was depressed. 

    I so agree with all you say.  A counsellor attached to my doctor's surgery (the one that double booked my appointment) told me that I was using anti depressants as a cruttch, as though it was a bad thing.  Of course I was using them as a crutch.  Something to prop me up when my mental health was bad. 

    I am so sorry about how they ignore you.  I can only assume they are so busy they are pushed for time.  Well I have had depression for over 20 years, all in Dorset, so I can sympathise with you.  Just try and say to0 yourself that women was rude and unhelpful.  But I feel for you and know I would also be tearful and upset.  So bad that someone who is supposed to help us, makes us feel so wretched.

    I do hope you get the help you need.  Keep in touch, as I am not far away. 

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    • Posted

      Hi , thank you for your kindness , i expect you have heard of Steps2Wellbeing which is where i attended , i live in Weymouth . Dorset Health Care contacted Bournemouth Steps2 and it was a lady there who contacted me earlier this week and who spoke to the gentleman in charge of this area , the gentleman who i spoke to earlier this summer , He is fully aware of me not being able to speak over the telephone and said as much to the lady in charge at Bournemouth so common knowledge . When ever i went to The Annexe in Weymouth where they had my local Steps2 programme , the ladies in the front office never appeared to be that busy and i feel that just a few minutes to check my record would had told them but i do though appreciate that they may not have access to all my record but then maybe my phone phobia should be high lighted at the top i don't know . I actually liked the lady i saw but just couldn't feel at ease in the room we were in , so cooped up but she , like you were let me down at one point as i got up courage to see her for an afternoon appointment when that morning of appointment i had a phone call - didn't answer as i had a bad feeling that the appointment was going to be cancelled and i had a phone message to say that the lady i was seeing had been sent home sick and so i had another 2 weeks before next appointment - that was to be the last as i saw my GP prior to that appointment with my concerns and he told me to write down how i was feeling etc on the thought sheet and she would work with me , she didn't - i just think she wasn't very pleased that i had discussed the matter with my Doctor but i had to as i was getting so upset and in a dreadful state as i had no one else to talk to in a professional position - no alternative . I am dreading the appointment on Wednesday as i don't feel that this place is going to work again but there is no where else in Weymouth that i can aproach . I feel that your daughter will make a good counsellor , and wish her all the best , take care , Maria
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    • Posted

      I don't hasve a car, and buses to Weymouth from where I live only go every 2 hours, otherwise I would happily come and support you.  I could not answer phone when I was realy very depressed, so I know exactly how you feel.  It is just that other people don't. 

      Yes my daughter was my rock thro9ugh all my years with depression, and that is why she wants to be a counsellor.  She has a demanding full time job, and has to spend hours training to be a counsellor and it is costing her a lot of money too.  So I can see the other side of the coin now.  They are people who want to help people in mental distress, and like my daughter do three years training in their own time, and at their own expense. 

      Let us know how you get on on Wednesday. 

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    • Posted

      Well i went for my assessment on Wednesday - got the courage up to go to the surgery which is not mine , saw a lady who asked the usual questions - why do you feel like you do , what can we do to help you ........

      if i knew then i would say but i don't understand why or how it can be treated - get all confused by those questions , i also felt like a fraud as she asked me how i would cope if a stranger sat next to me on the bus and started talking to me - i told her that i would reply as i am not a rude person likewise if i was in a strange town then it wouldn't worry me as i don't mind open spaces what i don't like is being cooped up in a poky room etc like the place where my local steps 2wellbeing programme is - in a porta cabin , all closed in with you being able to hear people walking around - the floor vibrates , and i pokey little rooms where you see the therapist hence why i had to see someone else where as i panic going any where near the place, building . Well i felt useless but she reassured me that i had done okay and that she would go back to her team and discuss what would be best treatment also contact the CMHT and get them involved as well and that she will get back to me by end of this week , maybe end of that day but difinetely end of the week which i took as this evening end of working week , so off i went very unsettled and now here i am none the wiser as i have heard nil from anyone and i am in a dreadful state as i feel like a fraud as some of the questions like i said i could answer eg talking ot stragers on the bus whereas i cannot speak to professionals on the phone , in person - takes a while to feel at ease those times but on a bus i am okay , relaxed as i am in a casual situation , so there we are - feeling totally useless .

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