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Why is it so wrong?

Posted , 12 users are following.

lucy1969
lucy1969

Why is suicide so wrong? If my family and friends love me, why wouldn't they understand the need to end my life?

I don't have any religion, faith or spirituality. I believe we are just a random bunch of cells, just like every other living thing on this planet. When our cells stop receiving oxygen they die, we die. There is nothing left behind. We just die.

Why is suicide such an awful thought to people? I'd like to think that if someone I love was feeling like this with no hope of ever feeling better, that I would be at peace with their decision and would understand and support it. Surely to condemn them to decades more of unbearable pain just for them to eventually die of something else is just plain cruel?

I don't want to manage this illness. I don't want to learn how to cope. I want it to STOP. Why is that so wrong?

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

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  • anna17409
    anna17409 lucy1969

    Posted

    Your action can cause the same kind of depression in people close to you. That could set off an undesirable chain reaction. How long have been feeling like this? Have you taken medical help? Many many people in this world go through severe depression with a feeling of utter hopelessness but are trying their best to survive and be happy. You too should try and help yourself. Life is precious. Maybe the future has good things in store for you if you just give yourself a fighting chance. SO PLEASE GET HELP.
  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 lucy1969

    Posted

    To be honest, if someone is suicidal it doesn't matter one little bit what others think, they do it because they simply have no hope left. So really it's not a question anyone who is in that position will even consider

    • ann55375
      ann55375 jmcg2014

      Posted

      You are right, when someone is so low they cannot go on they cease to have normal feelings for anyone or anything and can only see one way out.  That doesnt seem normal to humans generally but in the depressed it just becomes the answer.  Of course we know its not the answer but whenyoure not suffering it is easy to judge.

      one day there may be a cure for this, i hope for all concerned.

    • lucy1969
      lucy1969 jmcg2014

      Posted

      Just because I don't like myself doesn't mean I don't love those around me. I had no hope before and I still cared what they thought.

      I have suffered with severe depression for nearly 40 years, since I was a young child. I have attempted suicide twice. Once many years ago and the last six weeks ago. I was very nearly successful but ended up on a ventilator for 48 hours in ITU and am still suffering in pain from broken ribs from the CPR. I saw the shock and pain my actions caused to my family that night. I do have another plan already and I've learned from my mistakes from before. IF I decide the time is right to go, it would be easier to go knowing that my children and husband understand why and that there was no more they could have done.

      I will ALWAYS think of my family, no matter how desperate I feel. They were the last thing on my mind last time and they will be the next.

    • anna17409
      anna17409 lucy1969

      Posted

      You say your thoughts are always for your family. But i am sure you know that your children would have been terribly traumatised by these two incidents. Scared out of their wits im sure. There is a good chance that they might also end up the same way. I am sure as a mother you would not want that. Where there is life there is hope. Have you tried prayer? Its the one thing that has always held me together and believe me i am not at all an overly religious type.
  • Sadly
    Sadly lucy1969

    Posted

    Lucy my heart breaks reading this - I've been exactly where you are so many times I feel your pain in a visceral way... the only answer is that it does get better - it may come back you know this but however bad it is right now if you choose to keep on trying it will get better.... that is why people feel it's wrong - something can and will help it's just holding on and continuing to hope....I'm not judging or criticiseing your current point of view - I've given up myself in the past but all I ended up with is a damaged liver.

    I do believe that you're so ill right now your mind is not being fair in its thought processes - everything is darkened by the depth of depression you are suffering... put bluntly your brain is so ill it's trying to kill you. Please at least consider this as an alternative view of what you are experiencing....

     

    • lucy1969
      lucy1969 Sadly

      Posted

      Thank you Sadly.

      It has been coming back for nearly 40 years and it's just getting worse and worse each time with the breaks in between shorter and shorter.

      I am worn down by it, I have no fight left in me. It has eaten me up and now there is nothing left of me other than the depression. It is all I am.

  • sam18386
    sam18386 lucy1969

    Posted

    Get help please just get help, whatever's made you feel like this should be sorted out. Ask for an emergency doctor NOW!

  • hypercat
    hypercat lucy1969

    Posted

    Hi Lucy I don't suicide can be seen in terms of right or wrong,  these are the  incorrect desciptors.  What I will say is suicide is unneccessary but in the depths of your depression you can't see that.

    How about if one of your loved ones said the same thing to you?   Would you understand and condone it?  Think carefully about this.  Bear in mind that they are not suffering from unbearable pain or depression.  Do you think they could be expected to understand?   All though would know is they would be losing the beloved mum and wife.  There would be forever a hole in their hearts when you were and you would be leaving them a legacy of pain and guilt.  And maybe anger too.  

    I don't have any answers sweetheart but I hope my words make some sense. 

    You have a lot more than I do - a family who love you.  I have no one who would really miss me as I have no love in my life.  Nor do I expect too.   My depression makes my life very bleak and I am very alone with it.  

    Hugs for you Bev xxx

     

    • julia23547
      julia23547 hypercat

      Posted

      That made me sad reading this Bev. And you have us here. Keep talking to us. Hugs for you too. Julia xxx
  • lucy1969
    lucy1969

    Posted

    Thank you everyone. Feeling calmer today.

    I am currently under the crisis team but have been reluctant to be honest with them about my thoughts as they were threatening to section me.

    But this week has been the worst ever. Self harming is out of control, several nights with absolutely no sleep, anxiety is sky high and having paranoid thoughts.

    I tried to talk to my husband about my thoughts but I couldn't get the words out so I gave him my journal to read. Together we spoke to the crisis team this morning who were really supportive. They immediately changed my sleep meds and have arranged for another medication review with the psychiatrist. No mention of hospital either.

    • sam18386
      sam18386 lucy1969

      Posted

      Well done Lucy, you have done really well to admit it's so hard for you. Admitting you are ill is a HUGE step. Keeo asking for help. You have to for your sanity levels. Sorry not being rude. 😄

    • Sadly
      Sadly lucy1969

      Posted

      Huge respect to you Lucy... for every minute you push through.  Hope the sleeping meds help and psych review help as much as possible.

      keep talking if it helps. 💟

  • rachh
    rachh lucy1969

    Posted

    Wow I litterally say the exact same thing .. I actually say this to my mum a lot.. hoping she understands how it is to be in pain and if I do give up which I'm sure I will one day as I'm shocked I'm still here every day, then she will get some peace with my decision as I will be finally letting myself get some peace ..

    I guess it doesn't work that way for everyone tho,

    I really do hope you feel better at some point.. have better days , more hope xxx

  • julia23547
    julia23547 lucy1969

    Posted

    Lucy, I read your note with tears. I do understand. I'm not saying suicide is wrong or right, we are all individuals and with individual thinking. If it's right for someone, I'm not in the position to argue. I wanted to end my life 2 years ago after fighting depression for 32years. I grew so tired of fighting but somehow got through. I'm still unwell but not as bad now. For me, suicide was 'wrong' when I thought about hurting those I love and who love me. None of them would want this for me and would and do encourage me to get support when I needed it. I'd like to think your people would feel the same if you told them this. Do you have anybody to talk to? I'm not going to tell you to get support if that's not what you want, but ultimately your family and friends love you and would want you to get well.And they wouldn't want you to give up! Keep fighting! I don't want you to give up.

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