Why only some of us???

Posted , 14 users are following.

When I feel particularly crummy, I tend to dwell on the question of "why". Why some of us have extreme, life altering symptoms and/or an early start of symptoms or symptoms for many years. And why we all know so many women that are completely fine and enjoying their lives.

What's the common denominator for those of us suffering?

Aside from hormones and chemicals used in modern food production, birth control pills are also relatively newer and used more frequently in the last 40 or so years.

Personally, I have used bcp on and off for about 20 years of my adult life and wonder what this does to the body longterm. It has always been sold as the easy solution to prevent pregnancy but I now question if the medical community really knows long term consequences.

I mean, if bcp stops you from releasing an egg, what happens down the road when the body is preparing for menopause? If we are born with a finite amount of eggs and we do not release them with ovulation for a number of years, could that send the body into chaos? Are those old eggs still in the body trying to get fertilized?

Anyone else with extreme symptoms have a history of bcp usage? My symptoms started in mid 30s with low libido, hair shedding, sensitivity to foods and some digestive issues . When I turned 40, it all ramped up with new symptoms that come and go along with shorter cycles. I went down a path of thinking it was Candida, intestinal parasites, EBV (I had bad mono in my teens) and eventually settled on perimenopause when I found the list of 66 symptoms. But I still question if there is a systemic problem causing me to be so sensitive to hormones now.

I will be 43 in December and hoping this will ease up at some point because this can't be my life forever. I only feel well a few days a month now. Sorry for the long rant, we have a 3 day holiday weekend in the US and I have zero energy to exercise, clean house, socialize, etc. like I planned to do. I hate being so disinterested in EVERYTHING.

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  • Posted

    Wow we were definitely cut from the same mold down to the candida, parasites, you name it. I do know i have sibo but i guess thats not uncommon? I also had mono. I was on the pill about 8-10 years then had mirena iud for 5 years ended up not being a good experience and a cyst on my right ovary thats still there. Thats a good question about the eggs, I have no idea. I know ive read theres a connection between estrogen and candida. Ive been having awful dull heavy discomfort on my right side under rib cage which is the least of my numerous other symptoms and I read that what we are experiencing is due to a sluggish liver unable to handle the load of everything. I am in no way saying this is true, I take it with a grain of salt altho it does make sense to me in ways. I wonder if it just comes down genetic similarities, detoxification issues and gut health? but again idk im just guessing like you. I do know this has ruined my life.

    prayers and hugs to you. Im so desperate im about to try the celery juice thing but im sure itll be something my system cant handle and make me feel sick like everything else. Prayers and hugs to you ❤ xoxo

    • Posted

      Wow, I also tested positive for Sibo about 6 months after turning 40 and my symptoms at that time were digestion related.

      We have so many similar symptoms, it is crazy. Do you drink alcohol or perhaps drank a bit heavier when you were younger? Any children or are you petite? I have read women that haven't given birth may have a hard time and that petite women do not store up hormones as well so they could lose them faster.

      I have no children and am petite. I have always been a beer drinker but nothing crazy or daily. In the last few years I have cut down but often crave it, perhaps as a way to escape for a little while or I have read it slightly raises estrogen. Maybe I am low in estrogen and seeking it out lol. Either way, I do notice when I drink now, it seems to affect me more even in small quantities. I think what you mentioned about the liver and detoxification is probably correct, the liver is so busy dealing with all these hormones that alcohol is too much for it to process or something.

  • Posted

    I am still questioning why some of us get such severe symptoms and others don't. I have a hard time believing its just bad luck for some of us. I've gone down thousands of different thought paths trying to find the "thing" that sent me spinning out of control. I'm 51 and almost 2 yrs. post menopause. I'm past the worst of it, which started when I was 49 and lasted a little more than a year, but I am still not 100% . I'm still searching for what went amiss with me and the possible solution to put me back together fully. I took bcp after my first son was born when I was 22 and took them off and on until I was 34. ( total of about 9 years)

    I think extreme and prolong stress played a huge part with my symptoms taking over my life. The body can only take so much before it starts to shut down and I think that derailed me and caused many things to go wrong with me. It's the one thing I can consistently track and I think it just took hold of my mind and body. I'm sure other factors such as my bcp use added fuel to the fire. I remember loving my bcp! They made me feel great and controlled my periods. I just mindlessly cobbled them up and never gave it a second thought what they were actually doing to my body and what the longterm effects could be.

    • Posted

      I do think stress plays a major role in why some women suffer so much. At the age of 44 I went through a divorce. AT the age of 46 I remarried and moved from my home country of Canada to the US. Three months later my only child died in a car accident in Canada. The next hear involved me flying back and forth to Canada in preparation for the trial against the person who caused the accident. People kept mentioning how well I was handling all the stress in my life. Well, I am 58 now and suffering horribly with menopause symptoms....exhaustion, burning stomach, mental fogginess, body aches, you name it and I have it! I believe that when one hormone producing system is failing the other hormone systems in our body work harder to compensate. But....if these other systems are already depleted then we have more symptoms. Those hears of stress in my late forties, when I was most likely at the beginning of that long peri menopausal stage had probably wreaked havoc on my adrenal/cortisol stress hormones and I entered menopause several years s ago with a depleted reserve. As a result, I have an under active thyroid and bad menopausal symptoms. I have not taken the birth control pill and have been told that I should not take HRT due to a long history of hypertension. Just my thoughts on the stress vs. symptoms issue.

    • Posted

      I totally agree with what you've said. I was under almost unbearable stress for about 5 yrs. My dad was very slowly dying a pretty horrific death, my brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, we discovered our teenage daughter had been abused verbally, mentally and then physically by her volleyball coach, my mom wasn't handling my dads illness very well and then when he died, she really took a nose dive and relied on me much more than I was prepared for. I was handling it all (except my daughters abuse) well from the outside looking in, but my mind and body were running on empty. I think my body literally said "to hell with you!" and practically shut down literally forcing me to do zero expect be alive. For a solid 4-6 mos I was a sub-human! Just sleeping, laying around and eating every once in awhile. Just trying to regain balance and reboot. It was awful and horrific and so scary! I knew I was stressed out but didn't realize how much damage it was doing to me. I went to so many Dr's and had so many tests run trying to find a cause for what was wrong with me. Nothing except a frozen shoulder and tonsilitis was ever found! When I was deep in the thick of my symptoms ( Sept of 17) I was even congratulated by my GP for being so healthy! Ha! What a crock! So I have had to learn to and react to things in my life differently. I am still suffering with what I would call minor issues but still am not satisfied completely with where I am. I'm still trying to figure out the last piece of my puzzle so I can live out the rest of my life settled, complete and content.

  • Posted

    hey there - im also 43 in december and feel like s@@t for the last 18 months, i dont think its bcp rbh - i was only ever the mini pill for aboutOh 7 years, i could never handle the main pill...what are your main symptoms? i have nausea ever freaking day now, which brings anxiety and depression, i pray everyday for relief, i also can not sleep without sleeping pills, so want this to pass, how much longer???? gOh what a

    • Posted

      It's hard to say what my main symptoms are because they have changed so frequently, like a new one will come on and stay a few weeks then get replaced by a different one.

      The lack of libido and hair shedding has been fairly consistent for years. I have tried bioidentical testosterone per my gyno for libido but it made facial hair much worse and didn't help libido. I also have horrible left side neck and shoulder pain that nothing helps.

      Everything else comes and goes it seems, some of it seems to occur around ovulation or right before my period. Extreme fatigue, horrible mood, bloating, palpitations, head pressure, ear feels filled with water, cannot fall asleep, etc. The newest is joint pain in my hands, knuckles really stiff.

      It's like a hyper sensitivity to absolutely every small change in the body.

      What are your main symptoms?

  • Posted

    I totally have the same questions. It started for me around 45 with worsening PTSD and sleep anxiety, then rapid fibroid growth, ruptured cyst, weight gain. And now horrible depressing hair shedding. I had candida when I was young but since 18 I have been STRICT no sugar, no wheat, very low to no carb while I see my obese friends drinking sugar soda, not exercising etc and they are just fine, not even in peri. I was on the BC pill from 36 on but it was only because I had horrific periods my whole life and it seemed like a blessing until I hit about 45 and even on the pill my progesterone nose-dived and I started experiencing terrible anxiety so switched to the min pill which helped with anxiety but then lead to a host of other issues, weight gain, ruptured cyst, fibroid growth etc, You would think if your hormones were off balance taking more would help but sadly that's not how it works, according to both my experience and doctors. I feel disgusting right now hate my body since I barely eat and it's fat plus hair shedding, feel defective compared to friends. And still single, so thinking, how will I market this grossness? I know ... 600 pound women have husbands but I've never attracted normal good men. Just weirdos. And that was when I was think and young and semi-cute. Now what?? And what's the point of all my healthy eating exercise? But then I recall George Burns smoked, drank etc and lived to 100. So it's prob luck and genes. But you are not alone ... we are with you.

    • Posted

      Thanks, Sakura. My hair shedding is in overdrive right now and my scalp is much oilier than usual. I also tried natural progesterone and it helped with anxiety and sleeping but caused reflux and weight gain lol. I am wondering if it's a Cortisol issue or still Candida, I have not been officially tested for either of these yet. I get frustrated and stop going to doctors because none help but I guess I should look into these.

      When I feel well I like to walk about 4 miles per day, I feel better when I do but notice I have a lot of hair shedding soon after. That's what makes me think of Cortisol, the body can perceive exercise as stressful. Who knows.

      You may be better off single right now. I am in a long term relationship and feel awful that I never want to be intimate, am always in a bad mood and not well. I wish I could just be alone with my cats and a book most of the time, which makes me sadder lol.

    • Posted

      Thanks I hear you on the hair shedding. But I do wish I had someone supportive in my life so I don't die alone lol. My hair shedding is especially weird, because my hair started getting drier so now every day I find these knots at the ends of my hair and the knots just essentially come out as a clump of hair. I'm not washing everyday, don't brush, don't blow dry and use very good quality conditioner and styling cream. It does also come out in smaller strands when I touch my hair but it's the daily knot/clump that is freaking me out. And that I can't even comb/brush my hair. The knot is their even tho I don't. I'm trying Alterna DHT-blocking shampoo and leave in treatment. On my 3rd week but so far not much change. I'm pretty sure still growing hair but not sure fast enough to keep up with shedding. I really wish I had a husband to share my life with even the simple things like the holiday weekend. Going to dinner or a movie. Someone there when you get home. And of course the combined income/resources and being able to own a home and stop renting and plan for retirement.

    • Posted

      I understand the desire to have a partner, I feel alone a lot with these issues and imagine that is even worse when you are actually alone. Try to focus on self care and maybe you will meet someone when you least expect it.

      Same hair stuff for me! It has gotten very dry and stringy despite washing only 2-3 times a week, no blow drying or brushing since I air dry. It used to be nice, thick waves, now dry and lifeless. If I were a bit older I could accept this a little easier but I am only 42 . I eat better, exercise and take better care of myself than when I was younger, should feel better too lol. I feel like I will be bald within a few years if this continues.

  • Posted

    same q disturb me too dear..y we only..all other friends of my age enjoying life..No Sign of Peri...

    y we only few r suffering soooo much 😭😭

  • Posted

    good morning rainbow, I am with you all the way. I as well had mono very bad when I was I think 18. I also had an illness called scarlatina.... I think when I was in eighth grade or my freshman year. You have brought up a very important valid question about the birth control. I was on birth control I think several years and it would be interesting to see a study on this. I am right with you with on the three day holiday as well and I don’t feel like doing anything either. But of course I’ve been suffering from the lack of wanting to do anything for years now because of this. and you are right on the money with these doctors not thinking of long-term consequences, but then again, it doesn’t matter to them because men are not affected by this. Have a good day:)

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