Wife is always depressed and have volatile emotions

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My wife is very much depressed and negative person. She thinks everyone is against her and everyone wishes ill about her.she also feels that everyone are trying to criticize her. Even if others might crack a small joke which under normal conditions we take it as a joke.. I don't know why she is getting offended. I am now dragged into this as she will be complaining about them to me about them. This leads to huge mental toll on me. Luckily she doesn't want me to go and have n argument with them. All she wants is me to her her feelings and frustrations. However hearing this itself makes me comfortable and sometimes I try to advise her not to think in the neagtive manner. Its hard to convince her and sometimes I have to take in all the fury . The strange part is that if she gets deviated from the topic then she becomes normal again.everything depends on her emotions . Even before going for a shopping I have to see if she is a good mood. The strange part is that even sometimes if we start to go for the same shopping a small difference of opinion might suddenly change her mind . And once she decides on that then that's it. I have been trying to cope up with this as I believe in harmony in any relations. I am ready for any compromise. However I feel it's the depression and feeling of insecurity that leads her to do crazy stuffs.i don't think my advices will work for her as she feels I am trying to find her faults.

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  • Posted

    Most woman carry more burdens than men...most men dont understand a womans monthly cycle ...for me i have too msny things daily thrown at me but on a muvh deeper level than most so ppl tend to not understand me and my patience has worn off cuz most guys just wanna screw me n not actually listen or truly understand
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    • Posted

      Hi Jay,

      I always feel I am that kind of person who respect women and their feelings. For me empathy is something which I feel is the most important thing. I have been successful is understanding minds and helping others. But my concern is that I am not able to help my own wife.

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    • Posted

      Maybe ure not meant too...some things u gotta face alone even if u married..some ppl aint ready to dig in them selves cuz its too painful so triggers set off when ppl try n probe u..thats what ive learnt..
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  • Posted

    Aron, without getting personal is she at the menopausal stage?  It can start early on for some women. Also, an unhealthy diet can really wreak havoc on your emotions.  Has she had blood work done to be tested for adrenal or thyroid issues?  Also, God’s Word DAILY has every answer to everyday life as we know it.  Coming from a person who spent my 30-40’s in the bar scene, the wisdom you get from the Bible is invaluable.   😊. Many prayers for you and your wife.  I read this to my husband and asked him to comment on who this sounded like.  He was like WOW, that was us.  Don’t stress yourself out with trying to fix her “rant” because at the time, she’s not looking for you to “fix” it, she just wants you to listen.  My husband used to feel hopeless when I went on my rants.  He would be like, I don’t know what you want me to do?  I would say, nothing....I just want you to listen.  As for her paranoia, she probably needs to feel a little more secure, but you cannot fix her inner issues, she must recognize them on her own and have the wherewithal to work through them.  Again, as the Bible says, the truth shall set you free!  Best words ever because it causes us to examine ourselves and those are inner demons we have spent years on trying to suppress usually with alcohol, drugs, unhealthy lifestyles.  

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    • Posted

      Hi Susan,

      Thanks for your kind words..

      She is just in her late 20's. Anger has always been on a higher side but it has doubled in the past 2 years. We did have a personal tragedy where we lost our child due to stillbirth issue.i know that this might have lead to the increase in her volatile behaviour but was hoping this to reduce with the time. However I think this is increasing day by day.. I have to take extra care sometimes while speaking to her as there is a high risk of her misinterpreting words. She has got some feeling that everyone speaks against her. The same sentence can be interpreted in different way depending on the mood.. Mood swing is difficult to handle coz you will have to adjust your own mood to adjust with their's. I am facing this issue from her even when I am typing this. I don't know what this is our if I have to to consult a GP or take her to the same

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    • Posted

      My prayers for you guys.  That is horrific what happened to her, it happened to you also.  If you guys face  it together.....you guys can overcome it.  So many prayers.  She prob has extended post pardom depression.  Also, lots of resentment and anger.  Tat work through it or it will eat her from the inside out.  
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  • Posted

    Hi do you think she could be suffering from anxiety and or depression?  It does sound like she might be.  Is this a recent development or has it been going on for a long time?  Or maybe she is suffering from PTSD due to the loss of your child?  it sounds like something is definitely going on but not sure what.  x
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  • Posted

    I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, however, the description of your wife's "moods" hit home with me.  My mother was like this and my sister and my husband is always the "glass half empty" as well as my best friend!  It's enough to make me feel like I am the one who's got the problem since I try to look at the up side of things for the most part!  Like you, I'm used as a sounding board.  And sometimes things can be so volatile that it's turned on to me in a rage!  I have taken the brunt of the negativity and actually blamed for things I had nothing to do with.  Do you identify with that on occasion?  My sister will try to pull me in to her line of thinking about things so much that by the time I've spent an afternoon with her, I'M DEPRESSED!  It gets so bad that I just try to avoid much contact unless it's on a benign and upbeat subject that cannot be rolled in to a steaming pile of poo!  Lucky me!  So I feel your pain and my only advice would be to try to get her to seek some therapy and go with her in support.  She could be bipolar as by your description of her mood swings, she can snap back out of it.  Bipolar is a form of depression.  It used to be called "manic depression" but the term has been changed.  People who suffer from these mood and emotional swings can be upbeat and "normal" one minute and suddenly become agitated, hostile, angry, sad, or even enraged the next for no apparent reason.  It's a chemical imbalance in the brain and tends to run in families.  It's those neurons that keep us in a sense of well being tha stop "firing" in the brain.  Outside chemical can cause it like alcohol and some medications as well as a traumatic event.  Lots of things can trigger it.  Definitely the loss of child could do it or make it worse.  Professional therapy is your best bet.  Avoidance is not always possible, especially with a spouse.  I always wondered why I stood out on the front porch before walking in to my house when I was a kid and tried to prepare myself for whatever my mother's mood was going to be, testing the climate as it were.  She could be happy and cheerful or she could be angry and you never knew which you would be facing and that's the toughest for a kid.  And if she was the latter, chances are I'd catch the brunt of it.  It reminded me of an old cantankerous cat I had once.  When I made him get down off my lap when he didn't want to, he slapped the heck out of the dog just for being to close!  Good luck to you!   

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  • Posted

    It sounds as if your wife is really suffering ... frustrated and angry .... which is very unhealthy for both of you.  Please take her to a psychiatrist and he will ask her questions to figure out the cause for all this anger & mood swings. She could just need a low dose of an anti-anxiety medication with an anti-depressant... for a short time... Just to get herself balanced.  It's better to catch it early... then for it to get worse. I am praying for you both. xx 

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