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I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, (we split up 5 days ago). I'm struggling to cope and don't know what to do.
Our relationship hasn't always been happy times, maybe I should give you a bit of background.
At the beginning of the relationship he cheated on me and got another girl pregnant, we stayed together I thought we would get over it as the relationship was new I didn't want to give up over a mistake. Once I fell in love with him he had a hold over me and I can't explain how or why but I couldn't leave him. We moved in together and he cheated, again got another girl pregnant. I found out he had cheated on me MANY times we split up this time. We got back together (this happened a few times in the 5 years we was together). We got back together (again I know) and I found out I had fallen pregnant with his baby, I was 19, and I didn't know what to do. He didn't want it and so I had an abortion something I've never forgiven myself for. (Please don't judge me) I began cutting myself and felt really low but didn't get help. I deserved the scars for what I had done. We split up for 6 months, the longest time we had ever split for. We got back together March 2016, he seemed to have grown up a lot. Seen a future with me, we moved far away from all my family and friends (to the opposite side of the country). We got on great for a while until he started working away meaning I was left all alone all week with no friends, no family. Nothing. I felt so low, we was arguing constantly and he would physically hit me sometimes. He would make comments on my weight, I guess I started to comfort eat a bit and put on a few pounds. The arguing become unbearable, but I couldn't leave him. I lived there for 6 months until we both realised we had enough. We split up while he was at work, over the phone. I hadn't seen him all week. He told me he loved me but he wouldn't be back for me this time because we don't make each other happy. It's been 5 days and I'm back living with my parents. He hasn't contacted me at all, almost like he doesn't care. I have cried the whole time, hardly left my bed, I've not eaten. I am really struggling with everything. I had a doctors appointment today and they prescribed me 5mg of escitalopram and advised I go for counceling. I just want someone to talk to. How long will I feel like this? Has anyone else been through something similar?
I'm sorry the post is so long. I have never posted on anything like this before, I guess I'm scared people will laugh at me.
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