Will I have up's and down's?

Posted , 5 users are following.

I have been on Citalopram 10mg for 10days, for anxiety. And the tablets had affected my sleeping within the first 3days, so i got prescribe sleeping tablets, which helped. But now i'll have to gradually come off, i'm worried that i wont sleep without them? I saw a doctor today, telling them i think the citalopram are helping (thinking they were) but i had a really stressful day and my anxiety kicked in real bad. All i thought about was self harming and suicide. I'm obivously still here... but just want to know if i will ever feel better? will i ever stop worrying about things? its still to early i know, but some days i can handle and the others make me cry so much that i feel like i'm going crazy.. it affects me> breathing, sleeping, shaking, pacing, eating, nausea etc. Just want to feel normal but the anxiety always takes over and its hard to calm down. And people around me don't understand how hard it actually is. Eating has been a problem for about a year but now i have to force myself to eat more even though i'm not hungry. The doctors just want to prescribe tablets and everyone else says i have to pull myself together. sad

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  • Posted

    Hi cree

    First of all 10 days is really early days and 10mg is a very low dose, I started on this and went up to 20mg after 10 days.  You will probably still be experiencing the side effects of starting them which can last a few weeks and unfortunately do make your anxiety worse but it WILL get better I promise.  It might be worthwhile considering upping to 20mg.  I've been on this dose since July now and am tons better but to start with I was exactly like you and it took a good 2 months before I noticed a major effect from them which seemed like the LONGEST 8 weeks ever.  You will have ups and downs.  I know it's a pain in the ass, I was in hell also and it's the worst feeling ever when you have all that anxiety and the depression that comes along with it.  I know upping your dose is a frightening thought because it can cause more side effects but it's the best decision I made as I'm now leading my life the way I want to again.  I couldn't make plans to go out as I didn't know how I would be, I cried so much every day with frustration and just pure fear.  I too was thinking about ending it all, it was only because i have been through this before and knew I could get better that stopped me.

    Anyone that tells you to be pull yourself together is an idiot and obviously hasn't experienced this before.  I was very lucky to have understanding friends and family and also work colleagues and that was the only thing that gave me hope.  You WILL get better, it honestly can be done.  You've made the step on the path now and you just have to keep going.  

    Lastly sleep was a MAJOR issue for me also for a few months starting these and really held me back from feeling better.  It gave me serious insomnia and was the last side effect to go.  It was so bad my GP was considering giving me a different medication, but sleep did return and I'm sleeping normally now so again don't give up home on that count either.  I know it's really hard when we're so tired at the best of times regardless of anxiety but add that into the mix and it's a nightmare.  Big hugs and keep chatting on here to hear others stories and get some hope xx

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  • Posted

    Hey Cree

    I no exactly how you feel.. I was like that to but you need to stay strong. I'm currently taking 10mg an am on the end of week 6.

    You will feel alot better after a few weeks because the tablets to take 4-6 weeks to get into your system.

    The side effects will eventually go but slowly.. I have noticed I'm not as bad as I was but you will have good days an bad days but slowly ypu will get more good days. There will be blips but just ride it out...

    In relation to self harm an suicide please talk to your doctor... I did have this feeling to but it went away but if your really struggling please I'd advise you to...

    I am slowly starting to get into my sleep routine again but I do wake up alot during the night... I don't take anything to help me sleep as I am anti tablets and one is enough for me... 

    Remember an anxiety attack can't hurt you I no easier said then done but just ride it out an you'll be fine..

    there's a lot of support on this site an we all understand even if other people don't. (my Boyfriend doesn't  understand so I no its hard) 

    Stay strong an fight 

    Cheryl x 

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  • Posted

    Hi there

    You're already on the right road to recovery, and that's by starting this medication.  If people tell you to pull yourself together, remind them this is an actual illness and would they say the same to someone who had epilepsy or diabetes?  Of course we want to pull ourselves together, we desperately do, but need to be shown the way and get medication too.  We can't just step out of this illness like taking off a garment, and we don't go on holiday and come back all better either.  Also remind people that recovery doesn't happen overnight and to give you the time to heal just as someone with broken limbs needs time too.  Nobody understand how it feels to be like this, unless you've experienced it.

    10 days is early.  You're already having some unpleasant side effects.  Don't worry, we all seem to get these.  Go with them, they'll ease eventually.  As these begin to wear off you'll slowly begin to feel calmer, and will slowly recover.  Expect ups and downs along the way, it seems to happen with recovery.  Don't try and hurry recovery along, it won't happen.  It'll come to you in it's own time.  Don't make the mistake of upping medicine too rashly thinking you aren't getting better - you will be getting better, but the medicine needs time to work.  I recovered on 20mg.

    Lastly you'll have self doubt.  That little voice will tell you you're not getting better, it won't work etc.  Let that voice have it's say and try not to be too impressed by it.  This medication will help you to recover, but you have to be very patient.  Some people get better quicker than others - everyone is different.  That little self doubting voice will slowly disappear.

    I read that self harm is a symptom of anxiety.  As the anxiety starts to ease these feelings won't feel so important and will slowly fade,

    If ever you have feelings of suicide, you must tell someone, please. You won't always feel like this.  Promise.

    Anxiety zaps the appetite.  Our stomaches churn making us not hungry.  Your appetite will pick up again. Try eating small amounts if you can xx

    Expect unpleasant side effects.  Go with them.  Accept and move forward.  Lastly have patience ..... you're on your way to recovery.

    I felt exactly like you do.  Horrendous time, but I recovered on this medication.

    Keep in touch on this site - many are feeling exactly as you do now - we're all here to help.

    K xx

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    • Posted

      Kate i know this is not old post but honestly you're like an angel sent from above. Your detailed explanations have helped me so so so much and imagone many others. Thank you x

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    • Posted

      Hi Akens

      Awww thanks.  The right words make such a difference and I found understanding helped me so much when I was recovering.  I read lots about it when I was ill and those books helped me through it all with the meds too.

      Hope those words I read will help others too.

      K xx

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  • Posted

    Good Morning Cree,

    I started on my first ever 10mg course of tablets yesterday and to be honest I am scared, but not as scared as I was before finding these guys here that have been there or going through exactly what we are. These are your friends that will not cast pathetic, stupid totally ignorant comments or suggestions because these are the ones that know, can advise and as I am finding be there for us.

    I arrived here via work related stress and it has taken my Doctor, a couple of friends and (most of all) my partner and daughter to make me see sense and stop killing myself through physical and mental exhaustion. To be honest I was at the edge looking into an abyss and may not have made it to the new year!

    Scared as I am as I start my second day I feel that I am Blessed with more guardian angels than I could have ever imagined and I hold this dear to me as I enter the unknown. Your honesty and the replies reassures me that when it gets rough I can reach out a hand and someone will be there.

    We are all here for you and we are all here for each other!

    Take care now and keep in touch, you are not alone and there are some wonderful people out here. x



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  • Posted

    Thankyou to the people who replied to my post, its good to know people will respond smile. I feel somewhat better knowing i'm not alone in this, that other people have gone through what i have and came out on top. Its just hard, you know. I spoke with the doctor and she gave me the clear to up my does to 20mg. Been 11days since i first took citalopram 10mg. I shouldnt be rushing any of this, but i just feel like a weak person who can't handle it. But hopefully with time i will feel better. xx
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    • Posted

      Don't worry, you're not a weak person - anyone, however strong they are, will feel the same scary feelings - it's just how this illness works.  Everyone feels exactly the same.

      When I first started on this medication I was put straight onto 20mg, and it was this dose that helped me recover.

      It is very hard going through all this, but I promise, that whatever you encounter along the way, just accept it, and keep going, as you'll come out the other side eventually feeling great!

      Patience and perseverance xxxxx

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