Worried

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Ended a nine year stint on  Cymbalta on Jan 1. Very difficult to get off of that stuff, but finally just said "no more". Told Dr. I had zero interest in life and needed help. She put me on 10mg of Citalopram. Have been on it for three weeks. Initially felt that it was helping, but am now back to feeling U enthused about anything, including life itself. From what I have read on this site, the suggestions all point to 'give it a chance', which I understand is 4-6 weeks. Has anyone who is reading this felt awful/suicidal before reaching the therapeutic level? I am also experiencing unbridled rage at just about everything. Maybe it is just rage at having to deal with depression, but at the moment I am anything but easy to live with, which is taking a toll on my primary relationship. I hate starting a new med as each one basically gives me a new personality. Truly tired of going through the process. Does any of this sound familiar? Any suggestions? 

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  • Posted

    Yeah I've been through all that and I'm convinced it's a sign that the drug's working; it's a nightmare though. Felt like I'd lost all control and was staring into a bottomless pit. 

    6-8 weeks minimum, I think it can take longer than that to stabilise. The worst of it should subside in a few weeks though.

    The pay off, however, can be life changing. It's like solid ground, mentally, something that gives you the emotional potential to handle anything. The majority of us who have stuck with it, have got genuine, lasting benefit from it and gone on to leave all of 'this' in the background and never looked back.

    The only reason I'm here is because I dicked around with the dose, thought I could come off it, then the wheels came off and had to updose. Messing around with this stuff, not recommended. Five weeks later I'm getting better, but a sobering lesson.

    Hooe you feel better soon.

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your encouraging words. Are you taking this for depression? What dose? I am bipolar and the depression is seriously difficult to live with. No interest in anything other than not feeling this way any more.
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    • Posted

      I take it for anxiety, 20mg at the moment though I was on 10mg for years and I'll most likely drop back to that in six months or so when I'm better, Never been diagnosed with anything specifically; GAD probably. Looking back I'd have long periods, even without meds, where I'd be alright, then go through periods of several months where I'd be rough and in a bit of a two and eight. 

      I don't have a massive amount of experience with depression so I can't imagine what you're going through or how you feel. I suppose at it's worst, Citalopram created symptoms of depression in me, hopelessness, despair and it was horrendous, I even phoned Samaritans at one point as I was all over the place and didn't understand what was going on, but it passed. That was a few weeks ago. Seems like a distant memory now, thank Christ

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    • Posted

      Just to add though, as regards Citalopram, it does lift mood and keep the worst of it away, given time. Keep positive, run, exercise, make play lists on the iPhone, anything. Just keep occupied. Easier said than done, I know, some days it's hard getting out of bed. But the more you force yourself to do things, the better things are. 

      Thoughts are with you, wish you all the best and a speedy recovery. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your thoughtful reply. May I ask how long it took for you to reach some semblance to mood stability? You are absolutely right about exercise. I am in my sixties and still surf. Walk a lot  - thanks to my dog - when the surf is too big. I live in Hawaii and really have nothing to be depressed about, so wanting to end my life just doesn't compute, but that is where I am. Diet, exercise, and hoping to God the Citalopram starts to make a difference. Again, thank you for your words of encouragement.
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    • Posted

      Probably about five weeks of being up and down before I hit an even keel, and I'm expecting a few more downs along the road, such is the nature of the beast. Nothing's clear cut with mental health, but I do feel a definite sense of returning to solid ground.

      In a sense it's been interesting, not that I'd want to use myself as a lab rat in future for evaluating what happens when you don't treat these drugs with the respect they deserve, but a lot of the last few weeks seems like a blur, or like it seems a million miles from where I am now. I hope, and I suspect it will, be the same for you. You do develop such a fundamentally different perspective on your situation when you start to ease through the worst. Hopeless becomes hopeful.

      I've had six or seven good years on Citalopram with no issues whatsoever, if its a placebo then it's a Hell of a sugar pill to last that long!

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  • Posted

    Hi there Kristin.

    I am taking cit for hormone imbalance.  I have done lots of research and am under a professor for this and also have done training in neuro chemistry.

    So I will try and do this in a quick summary for you and will be doing a discussion on this once I have more time to put my thoughts to it as it is a heart felt subject, after all I have gone through, including fighting the medical profession and having my medical record totally rewritten.

    Hormone imbalance runs in our family.  I have always dealt with mine until going in to my perimenopausal years, with exercise and eating well.  Then or hell broke loose and bipolar symptoms crept in and then got severely worse.  Hence research etc.

    Hormones control over 400 of our bodily functions including our neuro chemistry. They are our building blocks for our body. 

    I have helped lots of people on my travels and they have told me how their hormones have effected them. 

    But basically if you are low in oestrogen (woman) or testosterone (man) - depression and if you are high in them - anxiety, as hormones can make us feel low or hyper and any where in between, if not in harmony.  Along with other things and symptoms.

    When my ovaries were pumping for a past time and in turn my pituitary - I was oestrogen dominant and way past hyper - and before they balanced me back out had a phychosis because of this, as it sent me so hyper.  Luckily for me I found through the pituitary organisation a professor in all this so all that I am putting is medical fact and I have written backup on this.

    Any way I could recommend a really good book on this written by a professor in this, and they have suffered the same as all of us because of this.

    I learnt a lot from the pituitary organisation - as it is our pituitary that controls this and so comes under our endocrine system and what they do to balance people back out.

    I hope this really helps you and gives you hope - as I am totally balanced back out and all symptoms have gone.

    Big hugs from some one who knows what you are going through.

    p.s.  Citalopram is widely used to help with hormones and comes with recommendations.  I went through hell and back to get it in but oh so worthy it.  And currently reducing and coming off it.

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