Writing to Reach You....Day Five

Posted , 7 users are following.

So Monday has come around again. Think the side effects are in full swing now...the yawning has become extreme, feeling quite detached and "strange"...can't quite put my finger on it...it's like a high without the good bits if that makes sense? Heart rate seems increased, and I'm jumping at the slightest thing.  Head feels swimmy...still got a dull headache but it's manageable. 

My parents decided to surprise me with a visit this weekend, as they live down south. I had to fess up about the tablets - I didn't want to tell them as I reacted so badly to the last lot that I knew they would worry but with them actually being here I didn't want them to think I was acting weirdly (with the side effects) so I told them and they took is surprisingly well (though I know that now they have gone back they will be panicking).  Had a few beers Sat night with a meal and felt ok with that. It was quite nice, as if I'm honest, I'd normally drink too much (to escape...I'm sure some of you know what I mean) but being on the tablets, I didn't want to go over the top and either make myself ill or stop them from working so I felt much more in control - I'm hoping that that is something to do with the tablets actually working. Haven't really noticed any positive improvements as such yet, but then it is only Day 5 I guess.  I'll stick with it and see where it takes me. But....the yawning can stop ANYTIME it likes!!! It looks so rude!! Oh....and the bad stomach thing...that can stop too! 

Am hoping that as the week goes on I will find some motivation to get off the settee and start some kind of exercise program.  But today, I'm just looking forward to my bed after kipping on the settee so that my parents could have the bed. 

Thanks for reading!

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi - that all sounds fairly standard for the side effects stage. Just persist and you'll come out of the other side. Hard to do this at first but if you want a suggestion I'd quit the beer altogether - it's amazing how good you feel with a few dry months under your belt (with or without meds)...good luck
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    • Posted

      Thanks for the advice smile I am definitely trying to quit the beer for good, along with the smoking....all the bad stuff I turned to instead of dealing with the issues I have. Am hoping that once the side effects clear down a little, I'll know then if the dosage is right for me. I am back there on 24th Sept and should have a better understanding then. Thanks again.
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    • Posted

      Morning

      You should find after a couple of weeks the anxiety settles down. I found it took about 4 weeks and my mood started to improve and then the anxiety\panic slowly improved week to week. 

      Know exactly what you mean re the booze. I was on the wine nearly every night as it was the only time I felt normal. However as we know it does indeed only make things worse in the long run.

      Hang in there you seem to be doing great.

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Morning

      Yep - re the wine, that's exactly what I've been doing. It became routine, get home from work, open bottle, drink bottle, go to bed. Now that I've knocked that on the head, I can feel a difference already. That's why Sat was so nice - I was actually out instead of sat alone at home with just a bottle of rose. 

      Thanks for the positivity, really appreciate it xx

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  • Posted

    Hi hun

    Everytime i go to sleep, i wake up around 4ish and cant get off too sleep,i feel anxious today, have been taking the tablets now for 10 days, still feel quite down,

    im thinking of getting a dog, i only work 20 hours a week so im home 2 oclock every day, i though it might take my mind off things taking the dog out for a walk, i might meet new people too, as im the same as you , spening too much time on the sofa! i need to get out more.xxxxxxxxx

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    • Posted

      Hey, sorry to hear you've not seen an improvement yet. 

      Funny you should mention getting a dog as it's something I've been considering as well. Spending too much time alone and on the settee absolutely sucks...I have loads of friends but they are all miles away as I've not really met many people I've clicked with where I live. I am hoping to use the gym membership that I've paid for and not yet used when I'm feeling better and that could be a good way to meet new people. Hope you start to feel better soon xx

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    • Posted

      Hey again Nat,

      I usually drink to much but like you I'm worried about what alcohol might do to me while taking Cit and I also don't want alcohol interfering with the help Cit can do. I haven't drank a drop of alcohol since starting Cit 8 days ago, YAY! I'm also the same when it comes to work, fridge and sleep, but since a couple of days ago I have a lot more motivation! I'm still ahocked at this lol, for the last few years thats all I've done eat and sleep, I started on 20mg of cit then day two went to 10mg, Thursday I started taking 15mg Cit and so far today (I live in the UK) since taking 15mg at 7am I've had no side effects and its 1pm! So there is hope, I had the worst side effects when I started last Monday the same you described, feeling high, fast heart beat also a pounding heart, detached (which is horrible) yawning like a crazy person lol, feeling nauseous etc but nothing today, so stick with it some of us are more sensitive to Cit, I really didnt think I'd fee lthis good after having such a horrific start with Cit.

      Good luck x

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    • Posted

      Hey Sarah

      Well done for the 8 days!! I used to drink every single night and then sit there with the horrors of what I might be doing to my body. I've used this time of having the tablets to stop that habit and feel much better for it. Good to know the side effects have gone! Gives me a bit of hope! Hope you continue to improve x

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  • Posted

    Hi Nat

    Stick in there.  I'm now on day 7 and still feel very anxious but the feeling like I'd happily die has subsided a good bit in the last 24 hours.  Hoping it's not just a blip and I'll go back to feeling rubbish but it seems to fit with what most folk say about coming out of the worst of the side effects in about a week.  I'm not going to lie to you, getting through the last week has been one of the toughest in my life.  Had thoughts I never thought I would have.  Hoping that day by day things will get easier.  Stick in there and try and stay off the beer/wine if you can, I was tempted to have some at the wedding I was at at the weekend but I didn't want to put myself back, I want the meds to work as quickly as possible.  

    Re tiredness, yup I hear you there!  It's only today I've felt a bit less tired despite being awake at 3am this morning and not sleeping much after that.  I've also lost a load of weight and now I'm starving all the time and eating like a horse!  Stick in there, it'll just turn around, seems like a long way off but it will and each day is one day closer, I don't think you're far now. 

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    • Posted

      Hey!

      I can definitely relate to the feelings of "I'd happily die". I've not had suicidal thoughts but I have thought on several occasions that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't here.  I'm glad you got through the really tough period, hopefully the days will get better and better.

      I was up at 5:20 this morning and am absolutely SHATTERED so the yawning is ten fold today!

      Thanks for the message - stay strong

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    • Posted

      Yup, on the flight down to this wedding on Friday a part of me was disappointed it hadn't crashed when we landed!....  feeling different today.  Stick with it, it'll be worth it although it's hard at the moment. 
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  • Posted

    Guys, the dog thing is a fantastic idea.... I would be screwed without my dog, it forces me to get up and out. Dad died in jan after being sick for 5 months with me looking after him, I did not care if I went to sleep and did not wake up, I thought that would be easier than the pain, just wan to do nothing except eat and drink, have put on 4 stone, doctor gave me cit but I came off the side effects were awfull, but I have to go walking the dog every day so the exercise makes me feel momentarily better. Good luck all. Depression sucks!!
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    • Posted

      Hey, really sorry to hear about your Dad. I worship my Dad, he's my hero and I don't know what I'd do without him...so I'm really sorry. 

      I too am at my heaviest, some people eat less, I discovered the fridge! rolleyes

      Glad that the exercise is helping - keep doing whatever it is that gets you through the day. Good luck.

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  • Posted

    Thank you, am lost without him, it's bloody awfull :-( I have turned into grumpy bitch! Who just eats and drinks :-( hope your doing ok xx

     

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