Young newlywed- painful sex and not getting aroused-help!

Posted , 4 users are following.

I’ve been married for only about 5 months. My husband and I both waited to have sex. We love each other and have a great relationship, but even though I love the emotional and physical closeness of sexual play, I don’t feel like my body is responding with symptoms of arousal. Then there’s the actual sex. We couldn’t even have sex for months it was so painful. I finally went to a doctor and she said my hymen was unusually thick and I underwent surgery to fix it. A couple nights ago we had sex for the first time and we did again last night.  It was really painful for me and not enjoyable at all, but I wanted to do it just because I know I need to keep having sex for it to ever get comfortable. 

Can anyone give me some advice or encouragement on how to get more aroused and have painless pleasurable sex? I can’t find any resources for me- they all seem to suggest I either am going through menopause or have a less than satisfactory relationship with my partner, neither of which are true. 

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Lube lube lube all the way! Try a vibrator as well see how you respond to that! It will probably just be a mental block because it hurt so much in the past. You can get past it. 
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  • Posted

    Hi, some foods and herbs are said to work as aphrodisiacs, Maca root is one and cloves etc, Maca root seems to get good reviews for this use, you can check these out online and see if you think they may help, many plants have some special properties.
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  • Posted

    Hi, look up Dyspareunia on this site.
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  • Posted

    I guess this site is not the place for a full explanation, save to say that a woman has many parts of her body which can be stimulated.  Your partner needs to read about these and try them; and for you to tell him which do something for you.  His feelings are centred on one part of his anatomy; yours are not.
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