Domestic Violence - Questions to ask yourself

What questions should I ask myself?

If you have had to change your behaviour because you are frightened of your partner, it is likely you are suffering from domestic abuse.

Questions to ask yourself

If the answer to one or more is "yes", you may be in an abusive relationship. (These questions may apply to a close family member rather than a partner.)

  • Are you ever frightened of your partner?
  • Does your partner put you down in front of other people?
  • Have you ever changed your behaviour because you are scared of what your partner might say or do?
  • Does your partner stop you from seeing your friends or family? Or do you avoid your friends and family because you are embarrassed about how your partner treats you?
  • Has your partner ever hurt you or your children, or threatened to do so?
  • Has your partner ever damaged or destroyed any of your possessions?
  • Does your partner have a bad or unpredictable temper?
  • Has your partner ever forced you to have sex, or perform sexual acts, when you didn't want to?
  • Is your partner jealous or possessive? Does your partner accuse you of having affairs or flirting when it isn't true? Does your partner check up on you, read your emails and messages, or follow you?
  • Does your partner threaten to commit suicide, or self-harm, or harm someone else if you were to leave?
  • Does your partner not allow you access to money when you need it, or your phone or transport? Are your finances rigidly controlled, or do you have to account for every penny?
  • Does your partner ever suggest that any of these things are your fault?
  • Are you frightened that your partner might catch you reading this?

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Dr Jacqueline Payne
Peer Reviewer:
Dr Mary Harding
Document ID:
28820 (v2)
Last Checked:
08 May 2017
Next Review:
29 June 2020

Disclaimer: This article is for information only and should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of medical conditions. Patient Platform Limited has used all reasonable care in compiling the information but make no warranty as to its accuracy. Consult a doctor or other health care professional for diagnosis and treatment of medical conditions. For details see our conditions.