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Advice?

Posted , 3 users are following.

b36593
b36593

I don't know what to think. 10 days ago my GF broke up with me. She was. Going through a huge amount of stress. She has always said she has anxiety (treated in the past) currently not treated. Days before the break up she was loving and said she loved me. Then out of no where she calls and says we need to talk. I meet up with her and she coldly says I don't love you anymore. 3 weeks prior she told me never felt as in love with me than anyone else like she feels with me. It seems like she might have anadonia.

Yesterday she text me out of the blue saying she just wanted to say hello and hoped I was well . I responded by saying I was doing the best I can. It started a text conversation that lasted all night. We both said we care about each other, we both said we missed talking to each other. But we did not mention getting back together. She admits she needs to get help and wants to be happy because so much of her life she has felt shut down.

I love her I want her back and I want to support her but don't want to overwhelm her. I don't know what to do.

Because of the blind siding and surprise of the break up. I am experience long anxiety and am getting help myself.

Please give advice what to do? Keeping talking, block, I am confused we never faught and were great together and everything was great until her work stress sky rocketed.

2 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Forestflower
    Forestflower b36593

    Posted

    Okay so I can only give you my opinion.

    I'd say be there for her, talk to her if she talks to you. Don't think about getting back together it might bring you more hurt if it doesn't end up happening and I agree bringing it up to her will probably overwhelm her and she may just cut off from you which I can tell you don't want . With any mental disorder it is hard to know what you want when under stress. She may have her own issues that she just wants to or feels she needs to deal with by herself and is taking time to do that, hence the breakup.

    I'm sorry this is happening for you, breakups are horrible no matter the situation. I'd just say don't get your hopes up, safe guard yourself but be there for her if that's what you want to do. I hope you can figure it out between you. Best of luck.

    • b36593
      b36593 Forestflower

      Posted

      Thank you. I am trying my best to not get hopes up. Should I encourage her to get help if she is faultering? She admits she needs it but then calls and gets a voicemail but won't follow up. I want to encourage her but don't want to nag. I know I've needed help in the past and it scared me to get it.

    • Forestflower
      Forestflower b36593

      Posted

      Encourage her by all means, but I can understand your not wanting to nag. Just do it in a caring way. For example if she says to you that she's feeling bad or had a bad day or something along those lines, ask her if she's called. If she says it went to voicemail tell her to try again. It's a long process. Even when you've had help before. I've been waiting 6 months to get back into therapy and I was receiving it for over 6 years straight before I stopped. Just be patient with her, and just remind her that it may take abit of time to get through but the more she tries the sooner she'll get through and be able to get help where as if she leaves it and doesn't keep trying odds are they will probably just forget about her. I phone every week and they tell me the same thing "there's a waiting list and we can't tell you how long you'll have to wait,sorry" ..but I keep pestering them so they can't forget my case.

  • Forestflower
    Forestflower b36593

    Posted

    If you want to private message me to talk further about it then feel free.
    • b36593
      b36593 Forestflower

      Posted

      Thank you ! I appreciate your advice. The situation is so confusing so other opinions help.

      B

  • borderriever
    borderriever b36593

    Posted

    Hello b36593

    Do you have any idea what the cause of your friends anxiety, the cause may lead you to the situation you find yourself in.

    All I can really suggest is give Her time to come back around, you need f possible to advise an appointment with her GP and and arrange possible treatment..

    If She is having problems at work that may be one of Her problems so IF she is dragging this around that will also not help and will be looking at that Anxious state as well

    Do you feel soeone else could be part of Her problems ?. You need to sort out your needs and possibly th relationship may be over. Anxiety can be caused by many things, consider your own well being and possibly you may need to move on

    BOB             

    • b36593
      b36593 borderriever

      Posted

      The stress is with work. The work load increased and she was working like 60 hours a week with little support from our boss. I have the same job in a different location. But she started getting agitated at me for things that happened in the company from my area but from before I worked for the company.

      I don't think there is another person. But she does feel a huge amount of guilt for pushing people away in the past and blames herself. And she talks to me via text and apologizes for hurting me over and over for hurting me and saying she isn't relationship material and is meant to be alone.

      I have talked with her about getting help but she says she doesn't think anything can change. I told her to search out what other people have said in the situation that she is with anxiety and see that so many people have felt similar and have come to feel better. She says she will get help. But hasn't yet.

      Thank you for the advice

      B

  • Peaceofmind
    Peaceofmind b36593

    Posted

    Ironically i totally understand... i had a close friend with those same mannerisms i found out later they were bi-polar i.e. highs and lows when i finally realized what was going i had to make the decision to tell them either stay on your meds to balance r no meds no friendship, now this was long before,my own personal mohill of problems started. But because she was unstable do to not taking them regular the side effects she had i ended up being the one hurt. Not because they intentionally wanted to but because they were unstabled off the meds they lashed out at the person (me)that cared the most. Now im in my own healing process and part of it is healing ftom what i went through with them. So its good you r getting help too, because when the time is right and u both get the right help and she stays on her meds as prescribed things can turn out wonderful so i wish u luck. And stay encourage!
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