any encouragement on citalopram please

No,beginning of April I was on 10mg for two weeks then the doc increased me to 20mg and I was feeling great on it until end of august where the anxiety came back bad and was all day and night and I waited and then saw my doc Sept 19 where she increased me to 30mg and been on that since. I thought by now my increase would be leveled out?

I see my doc tomorrow... Afraid I'll have o go through more side effects if I have to higher or lower dose again etc. Can it take longer than 6 weeks to feel ok? I can't remember how long it took for me to feel good on the 20mg

Dear katecogs

Thank you for those words, of comfort, as the same as Tim I'm 4 weeks in and up and down, but it's good to hear that it's part of the recovery as sometimes I feel Iv went right back,

It's also good to read that our bodys are healing even when we don't notice or realise, as sometimes it doesn't feel like it to us,

Thank you again just what I needed to read, which will keep me going and means a lot.

Wendy xx

Hi Wendy

Yes not only is the illness tough to cope with, but the meds are too.  It never feels like you're getting better or the meds are working, but you are, and they are working too - you just won't see it for quite a while yet.  Yes you will feel like you're back at the beginning many times - its always 3 steps forward and 2 steps back each time.  You'll despair many times ....... but just keep going.

Everybody takes different times to recover too, as we're all individual.  Some people take weeks and some take months.  Just let the meds work for you and don't go chasing it - you can't hurry recoverey, it'll happen for you in its own time.  It doesn't matter what dose you're on either - you'll still get this low time.

I recovered on 20mg.  It was about 3 months when it started happening for me and I'd recovered by 6 months, and improved more and more following that.

You'll get there.  Keep in touch xxxx

Hi katecogs

I can't thank you enough for your input and words of encouragement Iv read them over and over and I will go back to them when I need reassurance, as your words are exactly how I feel when going through a tough few days,

At the moment it's maybe 2-3 manageable days, and then 5/6 down days, but at least everyday isn't a down day.

Nights are always better, sometimes at nights I feel "normal" but I'm glad you say the meds are still working even though I think they are not, Iv managed to go from 10-15 mg for the last 4 days ant touch wood so far it just an awful headache I'm suffering with, today isnt too bad, I'm a bit anxious but I think that's because I have to go to hospital for surgery on Monday, it's not a big op, but I'm getting put to sleep, and it worries me, I think only because I'm a single mum of 4 and they only have me!!! But I'm sure things will be fine,

I know what you mean about can't hurry recovery! Iv tried many times and failed or made myself worse, for many months I beat myself up because I though I "should" be better by now! I know I'm too hard on myself a lot, I'm my own worst critic,

Thank you again for taking the time to get back to me it has helped me a lot,

Wendy xx

Hi Wendy

I struggled with this illness when my children were small, and it was a really tough time, so I know exactly what you mean.  Having an operation can be a bit daunting at any time, and having to cope with children too can feel a bit stressful at this time.  Do you have help after your op?  You'll need a bit of rest I expect.

When I recovered I noticed I started feeling normal in the evenings, but I'd wake every day full of anxiety.  Again when the evening came, it'd ease off and I'd feel relaxed.  That slowly crept into the afternoons, and then the mornings, though each morning I'd still wake with anxiety.  Eventually I started waking with no anxiety.  Throughout that process, I'd still get bad days.  Eventually I'd feel well for days, followed by bad days, but slowly the bad days got less and less until they finally stopped.  You can get the odd bad time months after you think you've recovered ....... but let it be, it'll go.

Anxiety thrives on stress.  Many things can cause anxiety, though often it leads to stress which is a big cause.  Then when you're anxious, you get stressed, which causes more anxiety.  You get stuck in a viscious cycle causing depression, weird thoughts sometimes, anxiety, more stress.  We then start rushing about trying to get rid of it, keep checking to see if 'its' still there, despair, get angry, upset etc etc.

When you're stressed your body goes into 'fight or flight' and tenses up.  Your nerves become trigger happy, and fire off at the slightest provocation, giving you pangs of anxiety, it affects our sleep, appetites and above all makes us very tense.

Keys things to help is to accept you're feeling ill and that it'll be there for a while yet - Rome wasn't built in a day    Relaxation - try and let the feelings just be there, don't fight them, accept them and try and relax / let go of that tense anxious knot in your tummy.  Relaxing doesn't mean flopping in a chair, but it means to stop rushing about / running away, slow down, walk slower, drive slower, try not to get angry and uptight at things, let go of the tenseness in your body (if you check you'll probably find you're clenching your teeth, holding yourself ridigly).  Exercise gently - take a walk every day - being outside is good for the soul and exercise helps burn up excess adrenaline (don't exercise vigoursly as if often means you tense whilst doing so).  Eat healthily, go to bed at a decent time and sleep (if you can), and socialise if you can too (it helps to get out and be with friends).  Lastly understand it'll take a while to feel the benefits of learning to relax - it doesn't just happen, and it takes practice.  Doing all this will help your body begin to calm down whilst you also wait for the meds to start working.

But yes you're right - we do beat ourselves up expecting to be better - I've done it myself.  This of course causes tension.  Learning to adopt the relaxed attitude above is the better method than trying to hurry recovery 

Good luck with the surgery, and wishing you a speedy recovery.  You will also get over this anxiety ..... maybe not so speedy, but it will happen for you.

K x

Hi katecogs

you always have great output and make people feel better, I am on10mg and have been for 12months, I felt better in April and then had a stroke which I believe stressed me again, I don't want to increase my dose or change my medication, but when I told the doctor that some had recovered in 6 months he questioned that and said cit was not a cure all, I feel better with the anxiety in the mornings, but still get depressed for no reason and still get the anxiety and scary thoughts in the afternoon, not sure if I should carry on with cit or slowly withdraw, thanks sx

Aww thanks Susan x

Am sorry to hear you had a stoke - indeed a stressful time for you.  Having a health issue is bound to have had an effect on your anxiety ..... lots of things upset our rhythm.

How long have you been feeling anxious again?  Is it since April?  Scary thoughts are really nothing more than side effects of anxiety (I had my fair share of them), however ... they're still scary nonetheless.

I’m surprised your doctor questioned the recovery time for some people - the proof is here on this site - so many have recovered within and beyond that timescale.  True that Citalopram isn’t a cure all ….. for some ….. but for many it is.

When I was recovering I was worse in the mornings but better by the evening, so the other way round to you.  Everyone is different and we often have different experiences of getting better.  It does sound like the meds are working for you though - with me the good times I felt during the day slowly increased over weeks / months even, until I began to feel well most of the day.

What dose are you on now?

K x

Hi Kate, thanks for your reply I am only on 10mg but I was on this dose 7yrs ago and recovered much quicker,perhaps age is a factor,,I am trying not to lose heart and do get good days but like 2forward 3 back, I try and go out more and work through it, really don't want to increase can they stop working I wonder? Thanks xx

Hi Susan

I've been on this medicine twice and the second time it took much longer to kick in and I had a different experience on it too.  Did you stop taking it and are back on it again?

How long have you been taking it?

Hi Kate I stopped taking it in 2010 and started on 10 mg Jan 2016 so about 12 months I have diazepam for emergency but very rarely take it and try and work through, I wonder if your body gets used to it and 10mg stops working, really don't want to increase, has anybody had this experience after 12 months' thanks sxx

Your meds don't stop working.  Its usually something that happens in your life that upsets the rhythm - so restarting last January, then having a stroke in April 3 months later, I'm guessing its that which has thrown you completely, and obviously adding to your recovery from that and probably the anxiety of it all has put your off your stride for now.  

My son had a melt down in 2014 and it took him 9 months to recover - and that was without anything major happening ...... so yes, it can take that long. It took me longer when I restarted meds, so I'm assuming with your health taking a battering plus restarting could be why its taking longer?

10mg is relatively low, and I have been on this dose before but that was after I'd recovered on 20mg.  I took 10mg as a maintenance dose.  I'm sure you'll get there in the end, but maybe the low-ish dose is also just making things that little bit longer?

I know you don't want to increase your dose, but there's always the option of increasing by just 5mg making it 15mg.  Just a thought.  Perhaps discuss all options with your doctor as I'm sure he'll help you decide what is best.

Are you having a really rough time or are you just feeling flat and ... meh.  Do you get any periods of feeling good, or is it all bad?

K x

Hi Kate thank you for taking the time to reply, I'm certainly better in that I don't get so depressed just FLAT and like all of us with this horrible thing I do get some days better than others, unfortunately they are not often enough, but I will stick with it, and speak to the doc about a small increase, your words of wisdom and experience certainly gave me a lift, as someone who has certainly experienced a terrible time, I'm so glad you and your son have recovered.  You are an inspiration. Sx

Thanks Susan xx

When we journey to recovery we often lose our way, need a boost, the right words, comfort, and reassurance that you're heading in the right way still and all will be ok.  

You'll get there - keep persevering ... but in a relaxed manner.  It'll happen for you.

K x