1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

Bi polar Type 1, Insomnia, post natal depression,PTSD, anxiety, depersonalisation..

Posted , 5 users are following.

monicae98578
monicae98578

I am literally suffering from all of the above and more.. 2 years, My new found partner ended his life.. We were both suffering from social exclusion and depression.. Battling our own demons and each other.. He left me... Now I feel like I'm close to the end.. I'm fighting so hard.. My Son will be 1 years old. My son was conceived when I was going through a hypomania phase, hyper sexuality is a side effect of bi polar disorder.. I was basically taken advantage of because I wasn't aware of what was going on etc. So when I found out I was pregnant I because depressed because I felt I was raped as I was highly into coated with alcohol and cannabis. This led to my post natal depression.. Now my bi polar is back and I can't cope it is so over powering .. So evil.. So fierce .. Some one please talk to me!!!

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • NY73
    NY73 monicae98578

    Posted

    You have the perfect medicine right there. Your baby boy. Just look into those innocent eyes of his and all that negative energy will subside. Dedicate all your time and love for him and the pain will go away. Positive events will eventually lead to positive thinking and a positive atmosphere. Stay away from alchohol and drugs!!! Remember monique your son needs you!!!
  • lisa17089
    lisa17089 monicae98578

    Posted

    So so sorry to hear that your feeling like this

    I suffer from very bad health anxiety and panic attacks. Every day is a struggle. I always wanted a big family but had terrible post natal depression so only had the 1 child who is now 20.i have struggled her whole life with my illnesses. I think your amazing that you are suffering with all this and still looking after a 1 year old after you lost your partner aswell. I couldn't have done that. Have you got anyone who can help you family or friends? And you also need to see a doctor asap. If you ever need to chat about anything you can pm me anytime. I think you are amazing for holding it together so fat after all you have been through. Just remember your son needs his mummy. Stay strong big hugs, and take care. You are not alone in this fight xxxxx

    • lisa17089
      lisa17089

      Posted

      So far not fat lol x
  • rstep04
    rstep04 monicae98578

    Posted

    You poor dear I've felt like you do a lot of times but I look into my boys eyes and all the hatred and suffering melts away it maybe seems like an easy way out for us but our children will suffer for a lifetime book yourself a GP appointment and maybe take a break stay with family get a Carer in whilst you take it easy and feel better about yourself take care Hunny xxxx
    • monicae98578
      monicae98578 rstep04

      Posted

      I have seen a doctor, they've prescribed me with medication that I will never take. However I do get psychotherapy but I break down I between therapy session because I have to face reality.. I have to survive weeks with bottle up thoughts and emotions .. My own partner I live with now, we argue everyday.. I tried breaking down my condition to him but he's shunned it off and keeps telling my I'm stronger than that. I am strong but you have to experience weakness in order to gain strength. I can't communicate with anyone that isn't depressed or bi polar.. He's even treating me like a child. Telling me what I can and can't so yet I'm still the one working and paying all the bills and looking after my son etc I don't know anymore. Dead end. Literally
    • monicae98578
      monicae98578 rstep04

      Posted

      Firstly I forgot to state that my culture plays the most important part in my support system.. In other words, us Africans are raised against the belief of being mentally impaired in any way shape or form.. I tried confiding in my uncle last week and the first thing he did was tell me I need to go to church and cleanse my soul bla bla .. I tried opening up to my closest family (5 of them ) and they've all come to the conclusion that I'm just going crazy because I stopped smoking cannabis. So no one smokes around me, they hide etc treating me as a drug addict. My own therapist defers against their methods of solidarity. They've isolated me and I hate every single one of them.
    • rstep04
      rstep04 monicae98578

      Posted

      I also have a partner who is exactly like that doesn't understand that's why I'm always on these forums I have no friends my life always seems so lonely but I have my children admittedly grown up now 20 and 13 and I have a dog which I walk daily when I have the strength to at least get out the house my husband feels like a lodger not my husband I do love him but when I feel so ill like this I cannot really tolerate anyone if you need to PM me your not alone take care Hunny xxx
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.