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Depression and relationships

Posted , 3 users are following.

audrey96558
audrey96558

Me and my boyfriend of 7 years have always had a very passionate relationship. I'm quite feisty and he's very alpha.

We had a raging argument tonight that I don't think either of us can understand but it culminated in him telling me to hit him, so I did, then he pushed me so hard I hit the floor and wall with my head.

I'm on this Pregabalin withdrawal and my emotions are all over the place. He's physically injured in his spine and on a lot of meds too.

I think the whole thing is a culmination of us not having enough support, so we lashed out at each other.

I told him to leave and he's got a cab picking him up.

Is this the end of us?

What do I do?

xxxx

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • fee25
    fee25 audrey96558

    Posted

    Wow Audrey, that sounds like an awful ordeal, I'm so sorry things got so heated between you both!

    It's never ok to be physically violent towards each other.

    It does sound as though you both have a lot going on at the moment and the pressure got too much for you both, which led to the explosive argument. It is no surprise that you both lashed out but, that does not make it ok. 

    I think only you can decide (with him) where you go from here, if I was you I would give it some time, you both need some space to think and calm down so that you can think more clearly. Things always seem more clear in the morning, after some sleep. 

    You both need to get that support that you deserve and so desperately need, could you go and speak to your GP and explain how much you're struggling? Do you have any friends or family who can help you out? 

    I hope you can sort this out 

    xxx

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 fee25

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply.

      I think tonight stemmed a lot from my GP, she said she didn't think any meds would help me and I have to wait 3 months (already been waiting 3) to get on the WAITING LIST for the treatment I need.

      I became hysterical, then angry, we ended up fighting.

      I've told both our GPs we need more help but just get laughed off. The thing is I can make things work normally, no matter how much it kills me, but on this Pregabalin I'm useless.

      I cried down the phone to the dr begging her for help and she did nothing.

      I'm desperate and scared xxxx

    • fee25
      fee25 audrey96558

      Posted

      That is absolutely awful!!

      Is there nothing else your practice can offer?? I know mine, despite being small offers a couple of weeks of counselling with one of the GPs if there is a long waiting time or they feel the patient would benefit with this. Can you call your practice and ask to see another GP? If there is a specific GP interested in mental health? Or failing that, would it be possible to actually change Dr surgery, yours doesn't sound too helpful! 

      I'm not surprised you feel this way, it's the absolute worst when you are not taken seriously and the "system" appears to have given up on you. Sometimes we often have to fight harder than we can to get anywhere rolleyes 

      I've never been on Pregabalin before, do you know how long the withdrawal symptoms will last? 

      You always have this forum for support, advice, even if you just need a place to rant! And there is of course the samaritans as well. 

      It sounds like maybe you and your partner need each other more than anything else right now, try to pull together - there will always be lows but you can get through it! xxx

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 fee25

      Posted

      Hi,

      I think you're right, I may have to change GP practice.

      I'm just not getting anywhere and I'm beyond livid and frustrated at this point.

      I've fought and fought for treatment I know I need, but it doesn't change anything.

      I'm exhausted now.

      I'm starting to think my GP might just not really care? I cut my wrist (on purpose) one time, I showed her, and she literally didn't acknowledge it at all.

      I don't know I'm just desperate.

      Me and my partner have been through a lot and normally always manage to pull together and be a team, but at the moment it's just not working.

      He's livid at the bad treatment I'm getting from dr, I'm exhausted from the medication withdrawal, and it's just not a good mix.

      We love each other so much though.

      This is torture I don't know how long I can stand it xxx

    • fee25
      fee25 audrey96558

      Posted

      I think you definitely should go to a new GP surgery, call up and book an appointment asap, ask if there is a GP specialising in depression etc. and hopefully they will give you the compassion and empathy you deserve. 

      To be totally honest, yes it does sound like your GP does not care - self harm is a serious issue and for her to brush it off shows awfully bad practice! I self harm, my GP found out after sending me for an ECG and she regularly checks me over and asks about it whilst giving me the advice and support I need. 

      You both just need to remember that neither of you are the enemy, it's the people whose job it is to support you who are falling short at the moment, not either of you. 

      It sounds like you truly do love each other so, keep fighting, it's difficult and it probably will carry on being difficult but if you manage to stick together and find some productive doctors to help you through things may eventually get easier. 

      xxx

    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 fee25

      Posted

      Yeah I'm going to change dr on Monday, I need some better support.

      The self harm wasn't even written into my notes and was never mentioned again, it's like she doesn't want to see or hear certain things because it makes her job harder.

      Anyway I need to try and find a GP who will actually support me. Me and my boyfriend are both vulnerable in our own ways, and usually we can play on each others strengths to pull us through, but there are times, such as now, when the two of us just aren't enough.

      We need outside support and help, and I'm going to have to find somebody who is prepared to do that for us.

      We love each other immensely we are just under so much stress.

      Thank you so much for your kind words xxx

    • fee25
      fee25 audrey96558

      Posted

      That is absolutely awful, self harm always needs to be explored by the GP and recorded. Obviously this GP doesn't realise the importance and priority of these issues. 

      I definitely feel extra lucky to have the GP that I do! 

      It's never going to be plain sailing with relationships and it sounds as though you two have been through more than most, it's totally normal to have these rough patches and when you get yourselves the right support you're relationship will be stronger than ever! smile

      It's sad that with everything you have been through you still have to fight so hard to get the help you need but, at least once you get it things will settle. I really hope it all works out and you get what you need. 

      xxx

  • dopy
    dopy audrey96558

    Posted

    Looks like you're in quite a bad situation. Your partner is probably feeling quite frustrated with his physical injury and since you're having problems too then you're finding it difficult to support eachother. I think that having outside support is important from friends and also to try and understand how the other person is feeling. Although I've had stressful situations with my partner in the past it's not been as bad as your situation at the moment. If you're really scared of him then let him go. The problem then is have you got anyone else to turn to? What does help me in stressful situations is I go out for long walks. This exercise tires me out and relaxes me. Try and find other things or places of interest to try and take your mind off your problems. Being in one's house for a long time is limiting. A break from eachother could, on the other hand, help you. Maybe it's just what you need for a little while. I hope things work out for you x
    • audrey96558
      audrey96558 dopy

      Posted

      Hi thanks for your reply.

      He is very frustrated with his physical injury and now also very frustrated at the treatment I'm (not) receiving from dr.

      He knows I'm exhausted so is trying to do more around the house, but he can't really and it gets him frustrated.

      I'm not remotely scared of him, he'd take a bullet for me, we are just under so much pressure that we end up lashing out at each other.

      I love him more than anything, all I want is to be wrapped up in his arms at the moment. I need him.

      I hope things get better for us, and thank you so much for your concern xxx

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