depression - just cannot kick it

Hi Sandra

please dont appologise for saying how you feel ... from what you have said it seems like you are watching your symptoms on  a daily basis which in turn will keep them going

i understand how you are feeling as i am in a dark space at the moment & have been for a while ... i go to counciling every week for an hour  which is really helping ... you can beat this you have proved you can by previous episodes

have you tried googling counceling serices for the area you live ... if you are on benefits or a low income you make a donation that you can afford  .... it will get you out too ... what about applying to a nursing home to do some volunteer work or to an animal shelter to do some cat cuddeling or other little jobs ... there are a lot of ways to help stop the feeling that you are going through ... stay strong x

I can relate to how you feel. I've suffered long bouts of suicidal depression and life is a bit of a rollercoaster ;-)

I take one day at a time (without making too many plans and commitments that I might not be able to fulfil). I try to achieve something each day, even if that is just going to the shops or getting in contact with a friend. I don't beat myself up if I don't achieve anything - I try to except it as a pause or a learning experience and NOT a failure. I accept each day and try again the next day. I know it can be exhausting to find the energy but I believe each new day is a fresh opportunity and we don't have to be weighed down by what happened yesterday. Keep moving forward, however slowly - we each have our own pace and depression can really limit what we can do. Try not to do nothing for long periods. My bed is my comfort zone - it's where I feel warm and safe. I'm also very partial to comfort eating too and I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. My therapist introduced me to self-compassion or self-soothing. It's not about self-indulgence or self-pampering but it is about self-care and respecting yourself, in the same way you would a friend you saw needed help and encouragement. Self-soothing can involve all the senses: savouring your favourite food instead of automatically eating without tasting something you might regret afterwards; having a hot bath and listening to your favourite relaxing music; meditating/breathing exercises.

It sounds as if you are a very caring person with a BIG heart for other people. I often feel motivated to help others and offer them support, but neglect my own needs. I guess we want others to meet our needs the same way we treat others compassionately. The problem is that other people are unpredictable and we can wait a long time hoping that someone else will meet our needs. There are like-minded people out there whom you can connect with. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Sending you a BIG hug xx