Only two Zopiclone left - terrified to sleep without them

Hello, thank you for replying.

I'm 23 and have had spells of insomnia since I was about 18.

I was never able to sleep at sleepovers etc when I was a kid either. Have always been fussy about sleeping - has to be in my own bed etc.

I'm a journalist working for a major broadcaster. But I am very relaxed with my job - not much stress.

Reason for insomnia is just the fear of not sleeping. After one nights sleep I get into a cycle of panic that I haven't slept and that I must sleep. It has been over 2 weeks now.

This is my longest spell of insomnia - usually after one or two nights with a pill I'm fine ...

Hey Sarah, thanks for the details. This is interesting. I'll have to dig a little deeper to understand the basis of your fear of not sleeping. From what I understand, it sounds like you can sleep just fine, but at certain times in the past around 18 years of age, you may have had circumstances that led to you not being able to sleep at all for several nights in a row.  Anyone who hasn't slept for a day or more can understand the pain and the lack of functionality that comes from this sort of sleep deprivation, so I can completely understand how this sort of a situation could lead to a great fear of not being able to sleep. 

If you can, dig deep, and think to the very first time your insomnia occurred. I need to you figure out the route of what kept you up that first instance and share it publicly or privately, once you figure it out.  Then realize, that no matter what that circumstance was, it has no control over you now. From the sounds of it, you are doing what you enjoy  and you have a nice stable job, so you are independent. And if there still are issues present in your life that relate to that very first instance, then we need to figure out some steps you can take to overcome them. Perhaps the originating incident wasn't even a big deal. But as was mentioned in a previous post, it is clear that your fear has now turned into the source of your insomnia.

Yes, Zopiclone pills will help to paralyze your nervous system so it is unable to fear...but given the fact that you've been trying not to take them, it indicates that you realize not having to take the pills would be a better option. 

Let me know once you do some digging, and i can help walk you through the next steps, if needed

 

My most recent spell of insomnia began when I was visiting my family in Wales at the start of 10 days off.

I think I was anxious about the amount of things I had planned and various people to see during my time off instead of relaxing.

I also pressured myself into getting some rest during the time off to feel refreshed after a heavy month - but the pressure and the busy schedule seemed to increase my anxiety

This in term resulted in me getting into a cycle where I would be desperate to get a good nights sleep - but never got it.

It's been about 20 days since my last natural sleep which really worries me.

I try every night not to take the tablets but I end up just panicking and taking them.

I don't want to rely on them xx

Interesting. Thanks for the further details. I have a few ideas that could be very helpful, but first, I want to determine if the pattern of the source of your insomnia is always the same.  During your first bout with insomnia, around age 18, did you have a similar amount of anxiety as was associated with your Wales vacation? Basically, I need to know whether your insomnia always is initiated by a stressor or if it results from different sources each time. 

Thanks,

Aaron