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Desperate, help please

Posted , 11 users are following.

marie36406
marie36406

I am sitting at my desk at work trying to stop the tears. Awful weekend, had to call Samaritans, my fear is that I don't want to exist anymore, what is the point in me or just anything. I am on 50mg sertraline and have been for a couple of years, seeing gp again tomorrow. I am so tired, everything is slow motion and it feels like I want to vomit my own body to get rid of it. So frightened

2 likes, 43 replies

43 Replies

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  • elisabeth38130
    elisabeth38130 marie36406

    Posted

    Hello Marie

    I do know how you feel I've always felt/believed that life is just futile slavery.  I take 60mgs/75mgs of seroxat every day which stops me from acting on my depression - I get so depressed that I spent 6 months of a Psy Ward where they ECT'd me 9 times and I let them - too depressed to care. I keep four unwanted ex-shelter cats - I cannot change my world but I can change theirs and that keeps me going.  One thing I do find helps is 'geranium oil' - sprinkle it everywhere - it has a very uplifting effect and does seem to help.   Apart from that don't know what to say except - I know how you feel. 

    Liz

    • marie36406
      marie36406 elisabeth38130

      Posted

      Hello Elizabeth, it is horrid that you feel this way but helps me that you know where I am coming from. Honestly, the only things I feel I have to stick around for are my 2 rescue bunnies and rescue kitty, we are very much the same in that way, how the hell could I let them down. I am seeing the gp will see what she says. I wishthe best for you Elisabeth xx

       

    • marie36406
      marie36406

      Posted

      Also, I love geranium oil, I will get some more, sometimes it is difficult to do anything isn't it. I look after the animals and cannot be bothered with myself xx

       

    • elisabeth38130
      elisabeth38130 marie36406

      Posted

      Hello Marie.  Precisely after all they need you.  One thing though you MUST look after yourself - have a good long bath every morning with lots of nice smellies and even if you can't be bothered to keep your home clean make sure that your clothes are spotless and that your bed is a welcoming place. Oh forgot to mention my bedroom is done up like a sort of mad fairy grotto with tons of fairy lights literally thousands of them - they cheer me up - you can buy them on Amazon all year round

    • marie36406
      marie36406 elisabeth38130

      Posted

      I will really try, my house seems to get on top of me but do keep myself clean. I find eating hard, no appetite, and I studied nutritional science, I know what I should do but can't. Can you eat?

    • elisabeth38130
      elisabeth38130 marie36406

      Posted

      Hello Marie

      You sound so like me.  I had a bad bout of depression last year and spent about six months living on chocolate soya milk and vitamin pills. How haven't said how old you are - I'm 62 my depression started with puberty - have felt a lot better since my 40's when (i) started taking seroxat and (ii) had to have a total hysterectomy (which I was very happy to have) - you're not taking the pill are you - when I tried it I almost threw myself in front of a bus. 

    • marie36406
      marie36406 elisabeth38130

      Posted

      I am 53 Elisabeth, I am not on any contraceptive pill, haven't been for a long time but my depression started like you, well, early on, in my teens.

      I haven't had any gynaecological problems but I can only imagine you feel better after that. How are you at the moment? x

    • elisabeth38130
      elisabeth38130 marie36406

      Posted

      Hello Marie

      At the moment I'm not feeling full of the joys of spring by any means.  I'm taking 75mgs of Seroxat every day - which is well over the recommended max but I need to. Lucky I don't have to work anymore as on top of all this I've also got RA - if I had to work like you do I would not be able to cope.  I have had quite a lot of people say to me that they are feeling very down at the moment.  Have you considered taking a couple of weeks off work (just have a long sickie and hide under the duvet until spring or sneak off to get some sun - something that I did a several times when I still worked).  I also take VitaminD tablets (30,000iu's per day) which I find very helpful.  I think your depression (like mine) is obviously organic in nature - have you tried Seroxat - they get a lot of bad press but to me they have been a life saver I would not have survived the last 23 years without them. xxx

  • lattifa7777
    lattifa7777 marie36406

    Posted

    awwww, i know how you feel sweet heart, ive been their. infact ive been well for a long time, but as im coming off my meds, ive had a crying fit today at work too, i had to step outside and the tears were just rolling down my cheeks, it reminded me of how ill i was before. are you on meds? if so how long?

    as hard as it sounds you do need to fight it , i know it sounds silly and impossible, but you would be surprised, just a glimpse of positivity , will lift you ever so slightly and that will make you want to figt more. prayer! prayer is so important too.

    keep talking on here and we can all help you.

    massive HUGSSSS XXX

    • marie36406
      marie36406 lattifa7777

      Posted

      Thank you so so much. I have been depressed on and off since I was 17 but only on meds for the l;ast 10. You give me hope and inspire me that perhaps I can feel likethe real me again, unless this is the real me.

      So much luck with coming off your meds, I am seeing gp tomorrow, will report back

      Hugs xxx

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 marie36406

      Posted

      You are more than welcome hun.

      if i can help just alittle that is a good thing, i know how lonly it can be sweet heart. but please always talk to us here, even private message me if you would like. i will always reply, as soon as i see the message. we are all in it together,and the best thing about this forum is that we all undestand. xxxxxx

    • marie36406
      marie36406 lattifa7777

      Posted

      You are all so kind, even this is making me cry because people care, wierd isn't it. Thank you xxx

    • marie36406
      marie36406

      Posted

      Hope you are ok honey, been so down I couldn't really communicate xxx

       

  • judyblue
    judyblue marie36406

    Posted

    Hello Marie I'm so sorry you're feeling so low, you must tell your GP everything, feeling that way is awful but there is help for you. Stay as positive as you can and maybe some time off work would help.

    Some meds make you feel worse but you must persevere, you won't always feel that way.

    I too feel a little bit like you just at the moment but I am hoping the ADs will work soon.

    I have intrusive thought depression and the negative thoughts are terrible.

    Keep posting on here and it will help to get responses from others.

    Best wishes

    J

    • marie36406
      marie36406 judyblue

      Posted

      Hello Judy

      I need to tell her the other symptoms I have been having that are worse than before. She is great but tries to tell me to eat and do things that I can't possibly get my head around at the minute. I hope you feel better soon. I am so pleased I joined, I felt so desperate at work and didn't know where to turn, thank you all so much, we will help each other smile x

    • greentea30029
      greentea30029 judyblue

      Posted

      Just, I just wanted to say that. Hope your ADs kick in soon.  I am also waiting for mine to take effect.  Depression is torture.  There is no quick fix.  Take care.
    • shiraz46473
      shiraz46473 marie36406

      Posted

      Hi Marie, Atleast you go to work - that shows that you will come out of your depression. There are people who cant work because of the symptoms of depression and the side effects of antidepressants including me.

      I am on effexor and mirtaz - need the wash room every 45 mins. also get very tired and sleepy. Is your work effecting your recovery?

      Keep in touch

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