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Have to many problems I can't run away from

Posted , 3 users are following.

stephx
stephx

Hitting highs and lows I have severe health anxiety which makes it hard to "live" I also a stay at home mum whose partner has just lost his job and the house is cluttered a mess and my routine has gone I lost my grandad to cancer in febuary and he was like a dad to me my nan who has been there like my rock basically has now got depression and tried to take her own life after my grandad died and is now in a home my children are suffering from my mood swings loss of energy ect it's not fair im doing my best but feel hopeless ...I keep thinking back to the past when I was free happy life was like a fairytale I was so strong and I feel I will never regain that now I feel old before my time I keep feeling out of it and drained I can't concentrate on anything people talk mumble to me and I find it so hard I do get times where I suddenly feel on top of the world bit everything soon cones crashing down I have become angry I have a go all the time at everybody I can't control it I just snap there's points I sit crying and others where I start to cry then all sudden im emotionless ... I started to nip/dig my nails deep into my skin leaving marks I don't want to sound pathetic but I need to let this out when it start hurting badly I take a deep breath and it feels like for a few seconds I calm down completely and feel peace .

I haven't had the best of life's but who has ? Now I can't find the energy to do anything and I feel the need to run away like a teenager really I feel I'm going through thag emotional stage again where I didn't know who I was and I was u happy woth everything although now I'm 23 ! Sorry for rambling on what options do I have ? Doctors don't really help me I had depression last year for a while and in the long run the doctors did nothing for me at all litrally ...I have tried cbt ect but I can't open up enough im not the sort of person that knows what I want although sometimes I do know im too scared to do it with having anxiety ect I feel lost and like I could just run away but I can't because I love my children and couldn't leave them I don't know how to get myself better ..sorry for the long post x

2 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • chris14174
    chris14174 stephx

    Posted

    Don't give up I was where you are and had push and push for help. U finally saw a phsychiatrist got mindfulness and monitored x it takes a lot of hard work but you will. Get there hun. Keep trying I promise it gets better! Xx
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 stephx

    Posted

    HI. Stephx...I am sorry that you feel under such terrible pressure...please seek help from your gp..and insist b that you are seen and helped by .....a psychiatrist who understands....it is...a huge responsibility and you are finding it difficult to support yourself and your children emotionally...

    You gp has to help you, and I am certain...would want to...please take care...big big hugs to all of you...xxx..DEIRDRE

  • stephx
    stephx

    Posted

    Thank you i need to stop burying my head away i make excuses to myself why i should not go how do i gi about a physcristrist as my doctors have never mentioned one ? xd
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