I contracted HSV 1 and HSV 2 but my partner didn't

No I've never had any type of outbreak. I was devastated to know I had this. I'm tested for everything yearly and this never showed until now.

Well he insist that he had the right test done. I guess he's just happy that the test came back negative. He prefers to think I cheated when I didn't never have. Not even after his cheating spree that led me to going to be checked.

I read your other posts. Do not tolerate such behaviour from him. He is very likely the source, not you, and he knows it, which is why he won't do the proper test (IgG).

so if u do IgG test even if u never had an outbreak will show that you are positive?

Yes, especially for HSV-2, which is the important one. Once you've seroconverted (usually by 3 months), the IgG test will pick it up in 98% of cases. You don't need symptoms or an outbreak, just the IgG antibodies to prove infection.

It did for me.....I've never had any type of outbreak mild or severe. That's what I don't understand. I was diagnosed last Thursday.

I'm not going to he's done. I'm no fool but if he wants to walk infecting others that's on him.

Good, glad to hear it!! After reading your posts, I was so furious and disgusted with him that even I wanted to kick him to the curb, lol! Make sure you make it clear to him that you were negative before, but not now, and have never cheated, unlike him, so you know damn well who had it first and that the only reason he's unwilling to test properly is because he already knows or fears the worst and is a coward, and an infectious one at that. Hope he doesn't spread this nasty virus to other women out of denial and by claiming he tested negative...

Coward is the exact word! In a rage on Saturday night I text my ex who gave it to me and gave him a piece of my mind. He had just walked away and never gave me a second thought, after hiding the fact he had it from me for the 4 mths we were together. I took him to the clinic with me where he was tested etc (no need seeing as I'm 99% he already knew but it was all an at!) and he was positive, by swabs and bloods also. That was 3 weeks ago, then this morning a friend saw him on an online dating site already... Off to do the same lying cycle again - people like that disgust me!

That is disgusting. Do you think he knew all along? You're lucky you managed to get him to go along for testing. I don't know if my giver knew or not. I'm 50/50 on that one, but I'm still mad at how it transpired. Mine also walked away, no apology, and it was definitely him, not me, that was virus-riddled. Still makes my blood boil thinking about it, too!

I know he knew, he wasn't phased at all by it, not shocked not upset, wasn't trying to trace back to where it came from, absolutely nothing like the shock and dispair of a normal reaction. He slipped up on lies about how many Valtrex he had ... He'd got them at home already. He also never used any condoms I bought, said they were all too tight... Obviously he found some long ones for max coverage (yet still not enough!) He took lysine daily, never let me give him oral (I mean Jesus I'd prefer to have hit this orally than genitally thanks buddy!), there's loads more mind f*cks that I see now and wonder how I didn't click that something was up All too late now, and the hurt and disgust I feel for him after all his lies, it's horrendous. Even worse to see that only a few weeks later he is back online dating (not that I think he shouldn't date, just that I know he won't disclose).

Mine i told him whilst in hospital and i told him u gve me hsv go and check so you won t give it to anyone else. he said yes he will test. Then  he lied and said it came negative so i check were he went to do the test and they told me that they do not do test unless one has lesions. As were i live it is like stone age. Then i confronted him and told him you are lying. recently he sent me an sms saying he did the test in germany and it came negative and has hsv1. i asked him what test he did and never answered. 

Oh, wow, if he had the meds, lysine and refused oral, then he definitely knew. He seems to have tried to reduce transmission, but why wasn't he on the meds daily? That and condoms would have reduced the risk greatly, so I'm guessing he wasn't. Lysine doesn't do anything to reduce transmission, only outbreaks, and even then, it's anecdotal and only maybe works for some people. Did he ever apologise?

It's really hard to know the truth sometimes. There are days when I think mine knew and lied, and days when I think maybe he didn't know, so I try not to dwell on it too much, but it doesn't change the fact that he 100% gave it to me and refused to apologise, even when tests proved it was him, and that's something I'll never forgive or forget. Lol, this is good being able to rant about our givers! :D

They don't put people on suppressive therapy over here (Ireland) , only if you have 7 OBs or more a year they told me. It costs a fortune too. Yeah I mean he may have tried to avoid transmission but all he had to do was tell me you know, we were together long enough. He has a very high sex drive and then came over and stayed on two occasions and didn't make any moves which was absolutely UNHEARD of, then the next day we slept together. I'm convinced he thought he was going to break out, didn't do anything sexual then maybe when nothing did break out he thought it was safe so went ahead, unfortunately not. He had an OB then couple of days later, same time as me, except I was freaking out and ran to the clinic and doctors, he didn't even go see anyone till I made him. Swear to God it's sickening, I'm an understanding person and would have appreciated honesty you know... It's just so unfair when the decision is taken away from you. Not to even mention how horrendously he treated me, packed his stuff up from my apartment at 4.30 in the morning and no joke his car actually skidded he was in that much of a hurry to leave. Nice way to shape up to your responsibilities!

What a douchebag! It's bad enough to get it from someone, but then to be abruptly cast aside (in your case, literally speeding/skidding away in the middle of the night!) makes it all the worse. Do they feel no guilt or remorse? Or is that their pathetic way of (not) dealing with it? Smh

Yeah I think running away was easier.... I mean I'm 33 and he is 38, at what age do you realise you're an adult and should face up to things. How could you not feel guilt, I know if I were ever to pass this on i would feel awful, and I would not be one to lie about it, I'll always be upfront, but even at that I'd be riddled with guilt, yet he lies and hides things then runs for the hills, I dunno... You have to question people's values at times.

how can a test prove it was him. I know it was him as i did not go with anyone else.

That's Type 2, right? Either way, you can prove it by having a positive swab with a negative IgG (too new for sufficient antibodies), which I did, plus he claims he tested after I told him and his IgG came back already positive, so he had it all along, not me. In your case, if you had no genital to genital contact (not just sex) with anyone else, then it can only be him.

I've made it crystal clear to him but he's an a**hole. I talked with my doctor today. She told me to tell to send me his test results......guess what I never got them.

yes only him in the last two years. explain again re testing as im lost plse. as he keeps on saying it is not him

 

bec were i live they r a bit retards.

No surprise there. Another total douchebag! I'm sorry for all of us who have been put in this horrible situation.

He'd need to do the IgG test and show you the results, but that's unlikely. Only other alternative is that you got it from before him.

My blood boils thinking about this as well as I had a guy deny infecting me as well. I was just diagnosed a month ago (after having 4 mild outbreaks of two little pimples in the last year that I thought were ingrown hairs. After the 4th OB I went to get tested). I had been tested (full spectrum STD panels) after every boyfriend (and the last BF before was 5 years before this incident), and this guy (who mind you I only fooled around with, didn't even sleep with mainly because he gave me the creeps so after that last date I bid him farewell), but he is the one who gave HSV2 to me (bloodwork verified this that my HSV values were over 5--off the chart). I explained I had been clean before him (have actual copies of bloodwork from the doctors from all my last panels proving this). He was such a callous jerk when I told him. Said it sucked for me, and said that while he had never been tested for any STDS that he has never had any symptoms so I must have gotten it from someone else (even when I told him that my last BF was 5 years ago and I was tested after him and was clean). He pretty much denied it, and when I said he needed to get tested for the most part said "nope", so now he is walking around infecting other women. It makes me sick. The worst thing about this is I have been with fewer guys than I have on one hand because I am somewhat of a prude, and this one guy who I didn't even have sex with I only fooled around with, maybe ten seconds of genital contact (as I said he gave me the creeps after the few dates we went on), gave me HSV2. I am at a point where tempted to report him to the health dept or authorities. Given his response I am sure I am not the first to tell him. Now I have a lifelong virus (and as a mid-30's woman, I already feel like my dating pool/potential partner pool is slimming down, I am mortified at the amount of rejection that will now come after this, as after a few dates if there are any feelings you have to tell the person. I am positive that most will bolt:-(.

I know how you feel! I am not so sure it was the creepy guy, however. Excuse me for saying, but I read your other posts and the timing, the index value, etc., seems off. Which blood test do you normally do for herpes, both after each bf and this time?

I had the test done 18 months after my contact with him (and had not had any contact with any guy in that time between). I had 4 OBs in that 18 month time period, but I thought they were an ingrown hair, so didn't test until the 4th OB 18 months later because I knew something was wrong. It is very possible that I had what I thought was one pimple in that region about 2 weeks after my contact with him, but I was traveling with work and super intent/laser focused on that, so I don't actually remember. I remember the one six weeks later (probably because my mind was triggered that I had something similar there just a month before and had never had any thing in that region before).

I have had blood work (full spectrums run after each Bf, ha only 3 BFs by my mid-30s, I am a workaholic and somewhat of a prude, so never anytime), and each one was run 3-6 months after we parted ways as a part of my annual and had blood drawn for all (HIV, HSV1 and 2, HepC, etc). Always came back negative. The last guy I had been any type of intimate (hell even kissing) was almost 5 years before this "creepy" guy.

I suppose anything is possible, but this almost assuredly points to him. We did have genital to gential contact (rubbing etc) and I had negative tests up to that date, and the last guy I had any type of physical contact with was almost 5 years before him (with no signs or symptoms at all in that five years), and the first definite OB 6 weeks in, but a possible OB that I thought was a pimple about two weeks in (really cannot remember that one, but it is this vague niggling in the back of my mind).

The doctor explained that my index value of over 5 is indicative of a high antibody response, normally that comes after 3-6 months but within the first few years before it begins to drop a bit as the body aclimates. She is fairly sure that it would have been from this person as well, but she has ordered all of my last panels to check my bloodwork to be sure.

Ah, I thought you tested over 5 at 6 weeks, but it was actually much longer than that. Wow, that is pretty unlucky if you got it from him after only brief genital rubbing! I got it after one time as well, but sex was involved. Biggest regret ever, but alas.

Yeah, as the doctor said, I really got a raw deal. I go some days (since I have only had the test positive test results less than a month at this point, just a few weeks actually) feeling okay and that life will be okay, and I go other days feeling like things are over. 

I have had wonderful and loving long-term relationships with ex-boyfriends, but I focused a lot of the last 7+years on my career at the expense of dating, and now as a mid-30's woman feeling career satistified and ready for that relationship and now have this barrier (as an ethical and moral person, this will have to come up when I start to date if the relationship is to progress). I also recently moved from a super large city of several million to a tiny little town of less than 30,000 where everyone talks and knows everyone's business, so this scares me even more. At least in a big city, if a relationship is progressing, when the HSV2 comes out in the conversation and the person decides they don't want to risk it, the chances of you a) runnng into them again and/or b) them telling everyone in the town 'don't date that girl she has herpes' are much more slim. In a small town I fear that my dating pool is now over (and as if in my mid-30s my dating pool wasn't already limited since so many people are already married).

I also hate that this makes me feel like I have been a sexually promiscuous person, and I have friends who have slept with 20-100 people each and have never gotten a lifelong communicable disease. I remember conversations out with friends where they would make comments on the curable STDs that they did get with comments like "at least it isn't herpes", or "I'd kill myself if it was herpes". I feel it is so unfair that me, the person that a) was always in long-term monogamous relationships-less partners than on one hand, and b) that I got it from a guy that I didn't even have sex with is the most unfair thing to have ever been dealt. So, yes, going over to his place that night (even though I stopped him before we went all the way) was one of the worst decisions I have ever made and I will have to live with it the rest of my life and everytime I have an OB I will remember the creepy guy who gave it to me. I would be okay if it had been an ex, because each of them I made a concious decision to be with and that I could live with. This just sucks knowing it was a guy that made my skin crawl and I didn't even sleep with him.